By two months the child should be able to independently hold the head, at five - to turn over, at six - to sit, at seven - to crawl. In a year, a child should start walking and talking. But we didn’t have all this. At first, I was very worried, but then I realized the main thing: my child is not a robot, he should not grow and develop according to tables and diagrams with certain standards. And I stopped constantly monitoring deviations from generally accepted norms.
Breastfeeding or start feeding at 4 months
Our problems began at 4 months, when at the next examination the pediatrician noted a shortage in weight. In the first months of breastfeeding, everything was fine: the child gained the required kilograms without problems. But then something went wrong, and in weight we were a little behind the norm. The doctor suggested starting the introduction of complementary foods, for example, cottage cheese.
But I was in no hurry to listen to her advice, but turned to a specialist in HS. It was from her that I learned that the main thing is not how many children gain per month, but how they look and how they feel. Does he have wrinkles on his arms and legs, does his cheeks fall down, are there any signs that the child is hungry and malnourished, is he naughty, are there any signs of weakness, malnutrition, is the baby anxious or completely calm ? After her words, I calmed down and stopped comparing the weight of my son with tables. By the way, I have it now tall and thin, and this is completely normal, just such a physique.
“And at 6 months we were already standing on our feet ...”
All mothers love to talk about the achievements of their children. The first months after the birth, I continued to communicate in social networks with girls from the hospital. Our children were born almost simultaneously, with a difference of just 1-2 days. It would seem that they should have developed on an equal footing. But no. Each mother told incredible stories about her child, which I, young and inexperienced, for some reason believed. For example, that a child in six months can stand up on his own. Mine at this age was just beginning to make the first futile attempts to sit down. And I went with him to a neurologist.
Good friends recommended me to the doctor, so I had no reason not to trust him. He agreed that starting to hold the head at 3 months and not being able to sit down to 6 is a slight deviation from the norm. But, given the history of my pregnancy and childbirth, this is not a big deal. “Your baby is completely healthy, he just has his own development schedule,” the doctor reassured me.This story taught me to nod and respond to any, even the most incredible, stories about the successes of other children of our age with the standard phrase "mine too."
Do not stretch a word
Up to a year, my child began to pronounce individual syllables and some simple words, such as “mom” and “dad”. Even the nickname of our dog, he learned to speak almost immediately. And then he suddenly fell silent, you won’t stretch the words. And I had to turn again with my son to a neurologist. Against the background of all the experiences, I began to quietly hate all the mothers who constantly bragged about the skills of their children.
The doctor prescribed us several tests and an EEG, according to the results of which he concluded: the child is healthy, even though at two and a half years he does not speak.
The next in line was a psychologist. We began to worry, suddenly it is our fault that the son suddenly shut up, maybe we scared him with something, or somehow harmed the fragile children's psyche. But the psychologist did not find any deviations in our child: he reacts normally to everything, but in his own language, understandable only to him.
And then we turned to a speech therapist and she reassured us a little: “It’s okay that a child at your age doesn’t say that it’s normal until three years old. Come back later. ” But this “later” never came: by the age of three, our son started talking by himself.
The table is just a guide
Indeed, if each child grows and develops in his own way, then why do all these monthly development tables, norms and skills? Why paint weight and height standards and make long lists skills of children for months? Is it really just to make inexperienced mothers panic for any reason?
In fact, any table is just a guideline, the main purpose of which is to timely identify obvious violations and deviations in the child that require medical intervention.
Well, if the table does not indicate specific numbers, but a time period. For example, from a month to three, a child must learn to hold his head independently, from a month to two - to smile, and from three and a half to six - roll over. With such a table, mom will not worry that her five-month-old baby does not tumble on the bed. He has some more time left to properly practice this skill.
In addition, development tables help a young mother understand what exactly she should do with her child during a certain period. For example, the table indicates that by two months a child should be able to follow objects moving horizontally in front of him. Mom takes the rattle and starts to drive her in front of the baby. The child is practicing a new skill!
Of course, the mother herself can decide how to develop the child and what games to play with him. But age tables are compiled by experienced doctors and indicate the time when a child activates one or another part of the brain. And it is during this period that the child is most predisposed to receive one or another skill. So why not take this hint?
If you are worried about the child’s development and notice that it is noticeably behind the schedule, consult a doctor. The main thing is that you trust this specialist. You can show your child to several independent doctors. If the problem is confirmed, you will be prescribed an examination and treatment. But, most likely, your experiences will be in vain. It’s just that mom needs to hear the opinion from an authoritative person - then all fears and worries pass away and we finally stop worrying and start accepting our children for who they are. And it doesn’t matter that they do not develop on schedule.
