Why children break toys: how to react to parents

Parents buy more and more new toys for their baby, trying to make their leisure more interesting, and instead of playing with enthusiasm, he tears off dolls' heads, throws cars on the floor, or opens his belly to a teddy bear? This situation is not so rare. However, this fact is unlikely to comfort parents, because they, first of all, want to know why this happens.

Of course, your child can sometimes accidentally ruin something. But what if he begins to specifically destroy the good things with which, in principle, he should rest and have fun? What to do, how to stop your favorite child? Should he be punished? In this article, we will figure out why a child can start spoiling things, find out how to behave adults in such situations. And everything will be alright!

Reasons children can break their toys

The kid breaks toys that are not suitable for him by age

Often a child breaks toys due to the fact that he is just too early to use them. Parents want to please their beloved baby and get him exactly what he asks for. As a result, it turns out that the toy is simply not suitable for the baby. He is too small to understand: this thing must be handled carefully.

Here is a simple example: a baby is only four years old. But he insistently asks to buy a beautiful typewriter with opening doors, a rising body, and turning wheels. Soon, parents agree. They acquire a rather expensive thing. But already on the same day the machine is disassembled.

Likely reaction: punishment. They will begin to explain to the kid that he broke an expensive thing, he behaves badly. The approach is wrong!

What to do

Of course, the best solution is to generally refrain from such purchases. Manufacturers indicate age restrictions just taking into account the level of development of the child. If you give a child at 4 years old cubes, rubber toys, plastic pyramids and simple designers from large parts, he will not ruin anything.

Should I scold if the toy is already broken? Of course, blaming your little family member is not necessary. In general, try not to punish and do not scold the baby once again. If he has a tendency to aggression, you will thus develop it in him. When a baby is vulnerable, obedient, such punishments can make such a heavy impression on him that he will generally lose the joy of playing. In this case, gently explain that things should be handled more carefully, really needed. (read also: to punish or not to punish a child for accidental misconduct)

Someone will have a question: is it possible to purchase a toy that is not suitable for age, if the baby is very asking? There are two options:

1. Toys that may be hazardous to health should not be given to a child. This applies to products with small parts. So that the child does not accidentally choke on them, they should not be in the zone of his access at all.
2. When the toy is safe, but it is likely that the baby will break it, decide for yourself. If you want to please your beloved child - buy. Just be prepared for an early breakdown.

Thing did not live up to expectations

Children sometimes break toys on purpose. They are upset because they get the wrong gift. Often the reaction can be predicted in advance. The kid asks for one toy in the store, and they buy him another. If you did this, be prepared: at home your child will show an attitude to the “gift” by breaking the thing. Thus, children are simply trying to insist on their own. Moreover, it seems to them: now they will buy a new thing, because they again were left without a gift.

Correct the situation

Such behavior cannot be called good. What to do?

• Try to explain that you gave the toy from a pure heart, sincerely upset by the reaction of the child;
• Do not buy a new thing after the previous one has been broken! Pamper the child is not worth it. In this situation, it is better for him to do without new toys for a while;
• A good way to influence the baby is to leave the broken thing in sight. Let him make sure that it is bad, ugly;
• No need to scold. Explain everything calmly without raising your voice (read also: 10 tips to stop yelling at your children);
• In the future, when it comes time to go to the store again with the baby, you can do this: if you are not able to fulfill the child’s desire and acquire exactly what he wants, do not buy another toy at all. Remind the baby how he dealt with the thing he did not like before.

Temperament Features

Now, unfortunately, aggression is characteristic of many children. Then the toys break down regularly, and all the causes of "violent" behavior lurk in the characteristics of temperament. Little choleric - he is restless, quickly distracted, easily irritated, very active. These kids break toys themselves. Strongly squeezed, dropped, accidentally stepped, hooked, etc.

How to be

It is clear that it is impossible to turn a blind eye to such a problem. If the manifestations are still at the initial stage, you can try to cope on your own.

• Scolding a child is not necessary. Punishment will cause increased aggressiveness or isolation. Both reactions are very poor results;
• Explain as much as possible, kindly, that behaving in a bad way;
• Create the conditions for the removal of accumulated emotions. An excellent solution is to equip your child with toys that you can have fun with. Rubber things, swords (not balls, but children's swords) will do. The boy can hang a pear;
• Make it so that children can actively relax, spend energy. Give them to the sports section, dance club.

All this will definitely help you. In extreme cases, you will have to turn to a pediatric psychologist or neuropathologist.

Cognitive activity. Curiosity

Many children are ready for absolutely anything when they have an irresistible desire to learn a new thing. They disassemble, unwind, break toys. These children just want to find out how the objects are arranged, what they have inside. Unfortunately, expensive things sharpen curiosity even more. Therefore, they are in danger in the first place. Most often, the kids then make attempts to assemble toys, but this is already impossible.

How to be

There is a great way out: buy for your child more designers, toys that you can safely assemble and disassemble. Let your child watch educational cartoons, documentaries. Older children will find it helpful to read encyclopedias. Thus, your baby will satisfy his curiosity.

The kid wants to attract the attention of parents

This situation is also widespread.The kid starts to play naughty regularly, breaks toys, misbehaves at the table, constantly acting up ... And everything is aimed exclusively at one goal. Just think: maybe your beloved child lacks parental attention? Some children suffer from excessive custody, but someone, on the contrary, lacks care, playing together with their parents.

Our decision

First of all, you need to talk with the child. Ask him if he wants to walk, read, or draw with you. Suggest an interesting game. For example, you can arrange an impromptu puppet theater with finger animals and dolls. Many children will be happy to go out with their parents to the street, run together, ride a slide, leave snowballs. All this will strengthen the relationship with the child, a positive impact on relations in the family as a whole. Be one team, have fun and relax together!

I just want to break everything ...

Another common reason for this behavior is ordinary irritability. Kids, like adults, feel anger and resentment. Very often they break toys, throwing out accumulated negative emotions. It so happens that children take the example of adults, when they can not cope with their anger and raise their voices, knock on the table with their fist, throw things. So, kids, adopting the habits of adults, can also behave inappropriately, breaking and breaking toys in the process of aggression.

What to do?

Arrange for a child a special play area where he will be able to break something, take it apart. For example, someone just buys an older child small balloons with darts. By training coordination, accuracy, boys and girls are happy to hit targets. And then they become noticeably calmer, more balanced.

Kid playing superhero

Does the nursery again resemble a battlefield? All things are scattered, some of the toys are broken, and your baby walks happy, like a birthday boy? It is likely that your child just imagines himself a brave warrior, wants to imitate his beloved heroes. In such games, you need to destroy the scary dragon, the evil wizard, wolf, bad person. And for this they need to be “killed." The kid breaks the toys, carried away by the game and following the examples of the characters of films and cartoons.

There is a solution!

You need to talk well with your beloved child, explain to him that you don’t need to fight with good things. This is not the meaning that exists in the battles of his favorite heroes. In addition, you need to organize a zone for "battles" in the nursery. There should be safe swords, various children's weapons and specially selected toys that will not suffer from such battles. For example, large soft, rubber animals.

A few more common reasons

1. The kid is upset that he is overly patronized. Sometimes parents are too diligent in teaching children how to handle toys. And the kids are annoyed. Try to be soft, calm, give some freedom to your child.
2. The child is sick, very tired. The malaise, as a rule, depletes the psyche of the crumbs, he becomes impatient, irritable, awkward. A sudden outburst of anger, careless movement - and the toy shatters into pieces.
3. The child expresses anger.For example, a child plays with a toy car, and he doesn’t get to put a small toy in it - he immediately connects the failure not with his personal abilities, but with the toy in his hands. In a fit of anger, the child throws the toy, it hits the floor in a big way and breaks. The baby does not yet understand that things can break, so he simply can not think about any consequences of his actions.
4. The child wants to buy another toy. Some babies are a little tricky. First they spoil things, and then in various ways demonstrate their experiences. And they ask for another toy. Notice that everything happens according to this scenario? Then do not buy another thing. Leave the broken toy in the nursery. Let the child realize that he has broken a good thing, left without it.
5. A child breaks toys in spite.Very often, the destructive behavior and aggression on the part of the baby in relation to toys actually hides a protest against the actions of adults. Mom did not allow to take candy from the table or demanded to remove the toys, but the baby did not want to do this. He is angry and decides to somehow hurt his parents, but does not find a better way than tearing up the books he bought or gutting a soft toy. Thus, a baby who has not yet learned to control his emotions expresses his resentment and anger.
6. The toy was bought by someone else. And the child ruined her on purpose. There is only one way out. Try not to show your baby items designed for gifts to other children. It causes resentment, jealousy. Avoid these situations.

How to wean a child to break toys

At first, the main task of parents is not to interfere with the baby's knowledge of the world around him, and vice versa, to help him in every way possible. You should not immediately pick up things thrown to the floor behind him and put on the shelves the toys that were just thrown off from there. It’s better to just watch the baby’s actions and give him tips. If the baby can’t close the box in any way, because it is full, you need to show him that you need to free up a little space in it, and then the lid will easily fall into place. If the baby is trying to tear off the doll’s head, you need to explain to him that it’s impossible to do this, because the doll will be hurt, and instead of it offer the baby another toy that can be easily disassembled and reassembled.

If a child tries to use force to all objects surrounding him, it is worth providing him with toys that he will definitely like: special soft blocks from which you can build fortresses, high beds and caves, as well as jump on them, an inflatable ball, skittles, large designers from which you can build towers and break them. You can teach your child to crumple unnecessary sheets of paper and throw them in a ring specially hung for this purpose above the bin. Offer the baby to try modeling plasticine or polymer clay. You can play cars with the kid with real accidents and collisions.

On the playground, a small destroyer will be able to use his strength, having stuck a large number of Easter cakes trampled down their labors. In winter, you can build a snowman together with the baby and break it, and in the fall, grab a large pile of fallen leaves, and then stir it up.

The most important thing for parents is to be patient and wait, and so that the disorder due to the new wave of destruction is not so strong, it is worthwhile to remove valuable and fragile things from the child’s reach. Gradually teach your child to understand the difference between toys and interior items that should not be touched, as well as your favorite things, which also should never be spoiled. According to psychologists, a small destroyer in any case will turn into a creator, as soon as the period of increased curiosity is left behind.

Taken: http://www.ya-roditel.ru/parents/base/experts/373782/

Be soft, kind, but persistent and moderately strict parents! Good luck! 🙂

We also read: The child is tired of toys - why are tired and what to do

How to wean a child slamming doors or breaking things in emotions

From the forum:

Katia: Maybe the child is just such an age when it is difficult for him to control his actions in relation to material objects? In this case, you just need to be patient and wait for it to pass. Perhaps the baby is just studying the toys falling into his hands and breaking them all the same intentionally, albeit unconsciously. With this, too, have to come to terms.

Vika: Or maybe it's not a desire to break, but an effort to get to the truth. After all, small children are great researchers, they want to know what is inside the toy and how it is arranged.

Zhenya: The main reason for a child’s neglect of toys is the lack of parental attention. Modern parents are often very busy with work and try to buy expensive toys for children, so that only he does not interfere with them, and they manage to do all the planned things.However, even the most interesting and expensive toys cannot replace the child's parental attention and communication with them. Therefore, breaking toys, children want at least a little to attract mom and dad, even if they do not like his behavior. There are fewer episodes of toy breakdown and destruction in families where parents try to devote all their free time to the child, communicate with them, and show their love and care.

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