Each parent can share stories about children's pranks and tricks. An inner voice tells us that through the broken dishes, scattered things and painted wallpapers all children pass. However, in practice, it is difficult to refuse punishment when the child is naughty. We suggest that you ponder the question of whether to punish children for random misconduct?
But first, the story. Little Lisa had warm green wool trousers in which she liked to go to kindergarten. But after walking through the spring puddles, my mother said that they should be washed. Hearing that the trousers got dirty, Lisa carried them into the bathtub. Only my mother forgot that there was still a basin with white linen in it. When it came to washing, it turned out that the linen managed to acquire a delicate turquoise hue. And only Lizina's face shone with a pleased smile of mother's assistant. Is it worth punishing a child who did not want to do anything wrong? Answer yourself by reading our tips.
Punish or not punish a child
- Think before you speak. What words do you say: good or evil? Unfortunately, taking them back will not work. Take a deep breath and wait a few seconds before reacting to prank. (See article “What words are better not to say to children”)
- Remember, things are interchangeable, a child is not. You do not want your child to think that things are more important to you than him? A cut carpet can be sewn up, scratched furniture can be repaired, painted doors can be washed, a broken vase can be glued, however, it is much more difficult to restore the trust and love of a punished child.
- Disobedience is not a personal attack against you. If you are already going to kick your ears to the naughty child who broke your beloved and, most importantly, expensive camera, think about whether he did it in spite of you. In the vast majority of cases, children break something, fight with someone or play pranks in any other way not to harm you.
- Leave the room and calm down. When emotions are heated, and you can’t recover or reassure the child, take a break. Leave the room, call your friend, count to one hundred or do something else that will calm you down and allow you to talk to the child without any extra nerves. (See article “What if I scream at the child”)
- Make sure your expectations match your child’s age. Are you expecting your four-year-old to behave as wisely as a ten-year-old? Do you think that an eight-year-old student will fulfill all your requirements as a 16-year-old? Think about age limits to find out what you can expect from your child and what you need to prepare for.
- Perhaps later you will laugh at today's situation. If you learn to laugh at what is happening, almost any childish misconduct will no longer seem like a tragedy. Did baby spill milk all over the kitchen? Did the preschooler paint the wallpaper in the nursery? Someday, such stories will become your family tales, which you will share with laughter among friends and family. And in the most difficult moments, pick up the books of Astrid Lindgren, telling about the little tomboy Emil from Lenneberg.
- Remember yourself at his age. Better yet, ask your parents to recall what you were like as a child. Surely the tricks of the child will fade before your childhood mischief. And, perhaps, the mug he breaks will no longer be such a great sin.
- Never forget that you love children. Of course, it’s hard to think about love for the little prankster when he painted with a felt-tip pen your new car or accidentally split a crystal vase. However, it is precisely at these moments that he needs your understanding and good attitude most.
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Be patient and try not to lose your sense of humor. Having talked with the child, you will understand that in most cases they are driven not by the desire to harm, but by the instinct of the discoverer, the desire to invent, and sometimes just a coincidence. Yes, things are expensive, and their value is not always measured in terms of money alone. But think about whether it’s worth any, even expensive item of children's tears?
We also read:
- Why can not spank a child?
- Is it necessary to punish a child at 3 years: the opinion of parents and a psychologist
- How to punish children
- 10 reasons for poor child behavior
- Child rearing style: carrot or stick?
- 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to punish children for disobedience
- 5 alternatives to say NO to your child
- 16 ways to make a child happy
In general, I never punish a child, especially if the misconduct is completely random. If this happens, I just sit down and explain to him why this is not worth doing. Totally calm.
I am not a supporter of child punishment. And for 4 years of raising a son, there were no serious punishments, especially for what was not done on purpose.
There is nothing better than a confidential conversation. It is at such moments that it is worth explaining to the child, in a calm tone, what he did wrong and why this cannot be done. So for the child will come faster.