What should I do if I constantly scream at my child

Your child has grown up, and at times behaves so badly that it starts to put you out of patience. It seems to you that he clearly knows what your most vulnerable pain points are, and deliberately clicks on them, just out of harm. And as a result, you break into a cry. Well aware that the baby is not even a year old. Between themselves at the playgrounds, mothers with strollers complain to each other about themselves. Only heard - I'm screaming at the child, what to do?

First of all, calm down

What are the reasons for screaming? Is the child freaking out, acting up for no reason, not listening to you, throwing things away? Or are you just tired? Or did someone offend you? Are you on the edge of your nerves? Does the child drive you to tears? Are you ready not only to scream, to beat a child? (See why we are yelling at children?)

Any stressful situation, family troubles, a child’s whim - anger and anger are ready to pour out on the baby. Meanwhile, the child often has nothing to do with it. He is frightened, sometimes offended, but more often begins to hysteria even more. But you, too, are not a robot insensitive. In addition, unbridled malice can accumulate, and will certainly break through.

Excuses, they say, yelling at the child, lacking patience - sound unconvincing even for you. After all, an adult can control his emotions, and this is not yet available to the baby.

Top tip proven over the years 🙂

If a scream breaks out from you, yell at something inanimate, such as a sofa pillow. You can even hit her.

If the baby is already “big”, he is more than ten months old, you can make him a stern and angry face - it will affect him more strongly, he will feel that you are unhappy with him. Silence acts very strongly on some children - it can be much more effective than screaming.

Your child should not annoy you! – read an interesting article

Can't help you scream

It is noticed - the more you shout at the baby, the worse he behaves. Everyone has repeatedly told you that raising your voice for a bit is not worth it. But why can’t you yell at a child, especially a baby? There are several reasons.

• At this age, he simply does not understand you. And your cry can frighten him so much that he begins to scream himself - already out of fear. His scream will “lead” you even more, you get a chain reaction of screams. Stop that you still have to. So is it worth starting?

If your child has “tried” so hard that he has brought you to white heat, distract him with a loud and sharp sound. But not by screaming, and not by flip flops - best of all, drop the pan cover on the floor in the kitchen.The baby’s reflex will instantly work, conditionally called “what happened?”, And after a couple of seconds he will forget about his “atrocities”, his energy can be put into a peaceful direction. Yes, and this action will let off steam and calm your nerves.

• Babies up to a year are real monkeys in everything. They adopt the style of behavior from you, eagerly absorb every word, gestures, facial expressions. The same applies to the manner of communication.

It may seem to the baby that with your cry you are trying to get obedience from him. After a relatively short time, he will start to behave in the same way - he will start screaming himself, asking for something from you. Why teach him to shout at himself?

• The child gets used to the scream, and ceases to pay attention to him

Often there are situations in life when shouting is simply necessary. For example, to stop him facing impending danger. But if a child has become accustomed to an “empty” scream from infancy, he will not pay attention to him at the right time.

Video: how not to scream at the child

The pot is empty and the diaper is full

The kid grew up and there was a problem - a pot. And the fact that the child does not want to use it. Mom complains, says - I constantly scream at the child when I sit on the potty. But screaming will not help - your baby can go on a real strike. It’s better to check, and suddenly the pot is cold, unpleasant. Or maybe the child just does not want to do pottery business yet. Try to distract him with a toy. And console yourself with the thought - sooner or later, each person will learn this simple task. And your baby will comprehend this art too. And upset over wet pants - is it worth it?

We recommend a useful article on our website: how to teach a child a potty

There should be silence before bed

Worst of all is the situation when parents start yelling at the child before putting him to bed. A scream will only ruin everything!

If one of the parents complains that he is yelling at the child when he puts him to bed, then the nipple will help. But not just the child, but the parent. To keep your mouth busy.

• Lay the baby should begin at least half an hour before now, when he should fall asleep. From now on, one must not succumb to his petty “provocations” about the unwillingness to fit in.

To do this, come up with some kind of ritual that would prepare the child for the "inevitable", set him and you on the right wave. For a long time he will not be capricious and indignant, and by the right moment he will be ready to fall asleep.

If, before going to bed, he yells at the child, he will remember the time when they shout at him and will wait for him with fear. And in the end it will start to be afraid to go to bed.

• The kid may be overworked, because he is naughty and screaming. And if everyone starts screaming, it will not lead to anything good. The kid is only even more overexcited.

[sc: rsa]

In this case, your unlimited calm and confidence will help.If you don’t have it at the moment, then drink a glass of warm water - this is the best and most harmless soothing. Count to ten, and begin to lay the baby quietly. If he doesn’t want to go to bed, let him sit on your lap for a minute. Let the child put you to sleep or a toy. Sing a lullaby - it will have a good effect on both the child and you. Vocal data in this case does not play a role. READ ALSO:Why am I lacking patience?

5 ways to not yell at a child

How to cope with minute emotions that lead to a cry for a child? How not to yell at a child? How not to yell? I will give a few ways that I came up with for myself

1. Recognize that you will never yell at a child again

To begin with, I decided that my mother is not worthy to scream.

It’s not worthy to shout at all, and even more so at children who should understand and obey (even if in fact the children do not understand at all from the tenth time). Just to begin with, realize that you will not yell at your children anymore N-I-K-O-G-D-A! And no matter what they do, no matter how hard they try, they won’t succeed in making you scream.As soon as you notice that you are shouting at a child, stop for a second and imagine yourself ... for example, the English Queen Elizabeth the second or the first, it doesn’t matter. Just imagine for a moment how a person would behave in this situation, being for you a standard of endurance and restraint.

2. Find any excuses for your child

As soon as you notice that you are about to start yelling at a child, imagine that a completely alien and extraneous person or person who is extremely unpleasant to you begins to curse with your words.

The normal reaction of any mother to this is to find any excuses for her child and smooth out the conflict situation.

3. Imagine your child is a stranger

Another similar way. Noticing the desire to break into a cry, imagine that this is not your own and beloved child, but a stranger (neighborly, the child of your friends or relatives). After all, you will not allow yourself to yell at someone else's child. Firstly, you don’t take the situation so close to your heart, but Secondly, it is not your child and you cannot scream at other people's children in principle.

There is something to think about. Why, we are more tolerant of the misconduct of other people's children than our mistakes.

4. Invite guests

We are very affectionate with our children when we have guests in our house. Therefore, the urge to yell at the child can be repaid by presenting a distant relative or acquaintance in his next room. After all, you will not yell at the child at a party, so why can this be done without them?

Why, in front of strangers, we can hide our negative emotions, but in front of our children we don’t even try to do this.

As a rule, having overcome the first minutes of increased negative emotionality, we no longer see the unpleasant situation that has happened so dramatic in which you need to scream and raise your voice.

5. Introduce yourself to a TV show

This method helped me when it seemed that from childish pranks, misunderstandings and whims, you can go crazy. And I understood that the opportunity to break into a cry is very great. At such moments, I just imagined that I was participating in some reality show, such as "best mom" or even "raffle"And I need to adequately get out of this situation. And I found, it seems to me, quite reasonable solutions from the point of view of pedagogy.

I HAVE AS MOTHER OF TWO WEATHER CHILDREN, DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ARISED WHEN I, AN ADULT PERSON, A LOVING MOM, COULD BOBBLE AND SCREAM ON MY CHILD. BUT AFTER THIS, I DIDN'T OBSERVE THE SUPER LISTENING TO CHILDREN, AND I HAVE EXPERIENCED ONLY SENSE OF GUILT AND POINT OF CONSCIENCE.

I do not know how correct my advice is from the point of view of psychology. But I came up with these methods, trying to look in the eyes of my children emotionally balanced and loving mother.

Children have the right to make mistakes. Their mistakes and misconduct should be taken for granted. It is foolish to expect ideal behavior from a child.

Now that my children have already moved into the age category of adolescents, which is quite difficult for adults to perceive, I have very well learned to control my emotions, no matter what news they bring to me.

If it’s very tight, then drink soothing medicines, drink glycine, go to a psychologist, read books on parenting and child care - section the books, and pull yourself together, otherwise nothing ...

It is also important on the topic of upbringing, tantrums, moods, parental behavior:

• General information as it is correct respond to the whims of the child and fight them (useful);
• 10 tips to stop yelling at your children – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/kak-perestat-krichat-na-svoih-detey.html;
• About how to understand yourself and stop shouting at a child, will tell an expert Evlalia Prosvetova – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/rasskazyivaet-ekspert-psiholog-evlaliya-prosvetova-kak-perestat-krichat-na-rebenka.html;
• 25 tips for raising a child in love and peace – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/25-sovetov-kak-vospitat-rebenka-v-lyubvi-i-spokoystvii.html;
• What parents cannot do when a child behaves unbearably?
• 7 things we offend our child.

If you are confident and calm, your balance will be passed on to the child. Screaming at him will not be necessary!

Video: They shouted at the child ... What should I do?

Yeah, this is an approach to education 🙂