One wise American psychologist said: “At every opportunity, take your child’s hand! A little time will pass, and he will cease to hold out his palm to you at all! ”
How do we offend our children or “about the seven parental sins”
Everything that we do in the lives of our children comes back handsomely. If a child grows up in trust, he also learns to trust others, if the baby is loved and supported, he himself becomes attentive and caring. But there are terrible mistakes that adults make under the influence of anger or indifference, without thinking what it could turn into in a small child’s soul ...
We offend our children very much when:
1. Do not understand
About 13 years old I fell in love. Zhenya was an excellent pupil - smug and malicious. But it seemed to me that he was an ideal. However, the ideal did not pay any attention to me at all, and I cried. And my mother, trying to console me, carried complete nonsense: “What are you! This is so frivolous. In a year, everything will pass! ” And I did not want my state of love to pass. Then I saw the same picture in the movie “You Never Had A Dream”:
- Mom, I love Katya!
- Oh, do not tell. You will have a million of such Kat! ..
“And why do you parents know everything in advance for us?”
2. Do not support
Little Caruso came running from school in tears: “Mom! The singing teacher said that I have a voice - as if the wind in the pipe howls! ” “Well, what are you, son! Do not listen to anyone. You sing like the most beautiful nightingale in the world. I know that for sure! ” It is terrible to think that the world could never have heard the great tenor, if not for this wise woman. Constantly tell your children: “You can! You can handle it! ” - it is very inspiring.
3. Compare with other children
“Look what kind of Anechka is clean and neat. Not that you are a pig! ” Sounds familiar? I cannot understand one thing: what do mothers want to achieve by saying these words? In addition to hatred for Anechka, it is difficult to evoke other emotions here ...
4. Taunt
My little sister and I went to the store. The sister was 3 years old, her face was painted with green spots: she picked up chickenpox. The saleswomen, who had nothing to occupy themselves, turned in our direction and giggled: “Oh, what a beautiful woman came to us! Just look! ” Only one thought occurred to me: where would I take a machine gun nearby and shoot them ...
5. Offend with words and deeds
In the 8th grade, I considered myself a completely adult and independent girl. Once we sat with dad over geometry, which my brain completely refused to understand. And then dad slapped me in the hearts ... on the pope! It was not so much painful as incredibly insulting! I didn’t talk to him for a long time. And he couldn’t understand what really hurt me so much ...
6. Scream and lose our temper
I remember in the hospital my neighbor, exhausted by the whimper of her baby, grabbed him and started shaking and yelling: "What the hell do you still need?" I will never forget the huge, blue, full of horror eyes of a baby who did not understand what was happening. It seems that she herself was very ashamed later ...
7. Ignore!
And, believe me, this is the worst. Japanese scientist demonstrated to the whole world experience with plants. Three identical seeds were planted in three jars. Each morning, passing by the first can, the scientist greeted a sprout and spoke kind words to him. In front of the second can he shouted and called the plant offensive words. He simply ignored the third sprout: without looking, he passed by. It is easy to guess what happened to the sprouts after a month. The first spike juicy green color over the entire width of the windowsill. The second is completely dry. And the third - rotted! Children, too, are like green sprouts: over the years, parents reap only what they themselves raised!
Now look away from the monitor and imagine your baby. Here he squeezes puffy fists, funny wrinkles his nose and smiles at the entire width of his toothless mouth. And in response, something big and tender unfolds in your chest. This kid loves you unconditionally: in any mood, with any gifts, simply because you are his mom or dad! And for that smile you will give everything in the world! Remember this as often as possible and love your children!
We also read:
- 10 things to learn from children;
- 25 tips for raising a child in love and peace;
- 10 tips to stop yelling at your children;
- Top 10 Parent Mistakes in Parenting;
- How to strengthen your connection with children in 5 minutes.
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From the list of all these reasons, I can only compare my little son with other children. Now I understand that I don’t need to do this. I told him that he is so obedient, he does it, but you don’t.
I agree with all the assumptions in the article, but here I have a question, where is the line between what the child can and what can not. If you do not scold and intimidate the child, he will grow up spoiled.
Yes, these are facts of life, in each of the above examples you recall yourself. And if in one situation or another the parents had done differently, I could have beaten differently.Therefore, you need to be good parents to give good advice to your children, teach the best and become better yourself, while teaching children the lesson in life.
The rules are binding on all parents!