After a divorce, many things become blurry. It is not clear how to build a new life, what to do and, most importantly, how to provide a common child. After all, most children after a divorce remain with their mothers, on whose fragile shoulders lies the question of not only taking care of the child and caring for him, but also the material side of the matter. Take your time getting three jobs right away. Just read the article - you will find a way out.
Superman Syndrome
- Hold on.
My ex-husband handed me a crumpled 2 thousand rubles.
- What is it?
- Money that. Buy ... something ...
Anything? How dare he mock me like that?
- You can’t buy anything with this money.
“That's all I can help.” Now tight with money.
I was filled with hatred. “That's all I can help.” Yeah, great help! Benefactor. “Tight with money” ... This is said by a person who recently bought a new car.
That evening, I began to think about how we should deal with money. My son needs a lot of things: a kindergarten, a swimming pool, classes at a music school. And how much money is needed for food, clothes ... My brain was torn from the number of thoughts overwhelming him. Mechanically, I reached for my laptop - to look for a second job. I’ll talk with the boss at my main job, explain the situation. He is a good person, I think, will allow him to combine.
"The seller in a clothing store ... a flexible schedule ... can be combined."
Fine! What you need.
Two days later, I went to a new job. It took a lot of time to master a new business. But I did it. From the morning until sixteen o'clock I worked at the main work in the office, then I rushed by a bullet to the clothing store, where I worked until 22.00. My mother was sitting with the child.
Why did it seem so easy to me then? It was terrible how hard. I was tired half to death. She came home, and, without undressing, fell into bed, fell asleep.
This went on for two months.
Once, the ex-husband completely disappeared. I haven’t called in for a month, I haven’t contacted. I learned from his mother that he has a new lovebuff, and they are now resting abroad.
- Perfectly! But nobody canceled the help to the son.
Mom said nothing in response.
I burst into tears. Wild fatigue, mixed with a feeling of resentment towards the father of his child, overwhelmed me.Why am I working hard as a slave in two jobs, and at that time he is basking in the sun in another country? Will not work.
I must say that before that I was visited by thoughts about alimony, but I always drove them away from me for many reasons. Because of them, by the way, many mothers do not want to apply for payments.
No time and effort
I was so busy that I just physically could not take the time for this business. It seemed to me that there are more important things to do. In fact, the application process does not take much time and effort. There is no need to endlessly wander around the courts (this is the husband who will then wander around if he refuses to pay). I came, filled out an application, gave it to the clerk. All.
I do not want to spoil the relationship
During the divorce, we agreed: the husband will voluntarily help the child, but I did not want to spoil the relationship with him, so I did not file an application. I always respected the father of my son, and it was important for me that he saw how well his mother and dad communicate with each other.
The second side of the coin: the ex-husband can periodically complain to the guardianship authorities, do many more minor dirty tricks, using the rights of his father.
But you can not be afraid of such troubles: the law accurately and clearly spells out the rights and obligations of parents. If there are no violations on the part of the mother, you should not worry about complaints at the court and excessive requirements.
Money is tight
It always seemed to me that the alimony made some kind of scam: they provided fake income certificates, got a job as a janitor, just not to pay. Therefore, I believed that child support is always a little money, for which you do not have to try. In fact, now everything is strictly in this regard. The alimony is obliged to give the child дохода of his income for one child, 1/3 - for two children, ½ - for three, and so on. Payments are made without fail, strictly on schedule. If you do not pay child support voluntarily, there will be pennies, fines, confiscation of property and even imprisonment.
Even if modest alimony does not affect the family budget, you can transfer them to an account opened in the name of the baby. By the 18th anniversary, a decent amount will accumulate on it, which will be enough to pay for training or a major purchase. Refusal of alimony in this case is minus the child. In addition, the financial situation may change for the worse. And then it remains only to regret the money not received.
"I myself"
"I can handle it myself" - do not even allow such a thought. I say this from my own experience. You can see this for yourself, and when you feel like a driven horse, you will understand that I was right.
You can’t devote your whole life to caring for a child and work. You must have your own personal life, full of joy and positive. You need to have fun, go to the movies with your friends, go for a walk with new boyfriends.
Remember that after a divorce, your life is just beginning, and you should use this period to restore yourself as a person. Girls who work hard, burn out emotionally, stop caring for themselves, do not go anywhere, do not develop. They smoothly turn into "men", female energy just disappears from them. Have pity on yourself. You have a whole life ahead of you!
But the most important thing: two are responsible for the child, mother and father. They are endowed with equal rights, and should equally provide for the child. It is the father’s direct duty to supply his son with money, so let him fulfill this duty.
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