- "Then the evil uncle will take you!"
When you are tired, the baby is naughty, and there is no more strength, you break down: “If you don’t go to bed, an evil uncle will come and take you!” Instead of uncle there may be Baba Yaga, a policeman or some other character, it does not matter. Another thing is important - you are the main defense for the baby. When you say that you are ready to give it to someone, he loses the feeling of security and tranquility. This is fraught with the complexes of the series: "I do not need anyone" and neuroses. Get a hold of yourself. Yes, it’s sometimes difficult, but close your eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale, expel all anger from yourself. At 2 - 3 years old, the child already understands everything that they want from him, so persistently, patiently and calmly explain to him everything that you want to get from him.
- “Take it, just calm down!”
Children are very demanding and it’s not so easy to build a framework for caring mothers, so if a child breaks into hysteria, it seems easier to give him what he wants. In fact, if you allow the baby to manipulate himself, he will use it with success, and the requirements will become tougher, so learn to say “No” with success. I noticed that a simple “no” causes the child even more misunderstanding and rejection of the situation, so I began not just to forbid something, but to explain the motives of my actions. This allows me to step by step build my authority in the eyes of the child and ensure that he obeys me the first time.
- "Why aren't you like other children?"
Have you noticed that many teens are constantly trying to imitate someone, instead of living their own lives? This behavior is laid in early childhood. Do not compare your child with other children. Phrases such as “Katya herself eats, and what are you?” or “Petya helps mom, and why don’t you act like Petya?” They do not motivate the child to become better, but destroy his self-esteem. Motherhood is not a competition. The child will never be the same as the neighbor Vasya, Petya or Olya. Motivate him to be better, using the principle of positive reinforcement: praise him when he has done something himself or helped you. Give him tasks and sincerely rejoice when the child succeeds. It will work much more effectively than your attempts to make it look like someone else.
- “Stop crying!”
Children only learn to communicate in the outside world. Often they simply cannot explain what bothers them and therefore cry. Moms, not understanding what is happening and not seeing the reason, are naturally annoyed and think that all these are whims, which means they must be abruptly stopped. Remember: if you don’t understand why the child is crying, this does not mean that he has no good reason.What seems like a trifle to you can be a real tragedy for him, and his own: “Stop crying!” you do not reassure him, but make it clear that his problem does not exist for you and you do not intend to discuss them with him. This can lead to the fact that the child becomes closed and secretive. When Robert cries, and I can’t understand the reason for his tears, I hug him and try to turn my attention to something else: toys, cars on the street. This helps stop the flow of tears. Only then I find out the reason for what happened.
- “You can't do anything right!”
Often in adulthood, we are forced to deal with doubts and fears that our parents accidentally sowed in us. Whatever the child does, no matter how angry you are or angry, never humiliate or call him names. It’s very simple to break a fragile children's psyche, and one careless phrase can inspire the baby with the idea that he will not succeed and he does everything wrong. I confess, I’m tired, but I gave myself a clear statement: “My child is the best, and he should not doubt it for a minute, and even more so suffer from the fact that I can’t control myself. It is very important that in your words the child always finds support and understanding. Remember: there are no trifles for babies, and what you said by chance can have irreversible consequences.
