Any parent at least once was "on the verge" or was frustrated by his baby, completely losing control of himself. Often, an emotional explosion leads to the fact that mom or dad grabs the baby, starts screaming at him, shaking him or even beating, thinking that in this way the child will calm down ...
One of the golden commandments in raising a child is not to yell at him even in the most seemingly difficult situations. This is easy to learn if you resort to several simple methods of introspection and self-control.
About how to understand yourself and stop shouting at the child, the expert will tell Yevaliya Prosvetova.
The child whose parents break down grows up nervous, insecure, clogged and aggressive. And the worst thing is that during the shaking the baby can get a head injury. In a word, one must learn to act differently.
Analyze why you scream
Parental aggression is a common occurrence. Most often it occurs for such reasons:
- you get tired and sleep deprived;
- full attachment to the child, there is no freedom and time for oneself;
- life and relationships in the family are completely immersed in everyday life;
- parenthood seemed easy, but expectations were not met.
Watch your condition
It is very important for parents to monitor the state of their internal balance. If you feel that you are about to explode, try this:
- Leave the room where the child is and try to calm down. Take a deep breath. Ideally, one of the family members should be asked to sit with the child. Even if the child continues to cry, it will not cause him much harm.
- Take yourself out of a stressful state. Go out into the fresh air or open a window, drink a glass of cool water. Track your breathing, bring it to a normal steady pace.
- If the body requires stress, cry or beat the pillow. There is nothing wrong with that, but negative emotions will be eliminated.
- Take a deep breath, exhale, inhale, exhale until you come to your senses.
- Analyze your behavior and internal state. This stage is very important, it will help determine the root of stress. Ask yourself the questions: “Why am I angry / lazy?”, “What got me crazy and what exactly happened?” etc.
Your main goal at this stage is to stabilize your condition and figure out the cause of the "explosion." During your absence, another relative will calm the child. You will be able to return to it after you bring your emotions in order. It will be better for both you and the baby.
What to do if you have already yelled at the child?
In this situation, it is very important to restore your calm and try to regain the trust of the child.Hug him, calm him down, ask for forgiveness and try to convey all your love to him. Make the child understand that mom is nearby and loves him.
If you shouted at your child, do not scold yourself or become depressed. A nervous breakdown can occur in everyone, the main thing in time is to realize and try to pull yourself together.
How to prevent a breakdown?
Prevention of breakdowns in the child should be given special attention. Both mom and dad of the child should participate - this is a must. All parenting responsibilities should not be assigned to any one. It will be great if the process involves grandparents and family friends.
The most important measure is the development of a homework schedule. In this schedule, the personal time of mom and dad must be allocated in which they will be able to go about their business and pay attention to themselves. Between themselves, parents can change. For example, a mom is resting - dad is with a child, and vice versa. If you are not chronically getting enough sleep and therefore break down, relax in the daytime with your baby.
A lot of information, tips and life hacks on raising a child can be gathered at special forums, classes in child development studios, or at regular meetings with other mothers.
It is important to understand that ideal parents do not exist. And in order to realize this, we need to communicate more with like-minded people. It can be mothers from the playground or from development studios, after all, from online forums.
If parents cannot independently understand the situation, it is worth contacting a professional family psychologist. The specialist very quickly finds the root of the problem and helps to cope with stress and other problems.
If you are unable to control yourself, consult a psychologist.
Of course, working on yourself is a complex process, which does not consist of one stage. A lot of difficulties come with a child, but they arise in absolutely all parents and everyone goes through them. Make a little effort and your baby will grow in a harmonious and proper atmosphere.
We also read:
- What should I do if I constantly scream at my child?
- 10 tips to stop yelling at your children
- 25 tips for raising a child in love and peace
How to learn not to yell at children
They shouted at the child ... What should I do?
Yes, fatigue and nervous breakdowns at work are the main cause of screaming. I noticed this on my own. And the screaming child is frightened and behaves even worse, because it is correctly said: you need to leave the room and calm down.
First of all, you need to understand yourself and analyze the situation. Perhaps the child is not to blame for anything, but you simply have no one to shout at. Then you need to treat your nerves.
When you have two restless children who carry everything around, it is very difficult not to yell at them. If I understand that I can’t stand it anymore, then I just leave the room. In more severe cases, I ask you to sit your husband with the children, and I myself go for a walk. It helps a lot to gain strength and relax mentally.