All of us adults understand “with our minds” that a child is a bunch of energy, therefore he seeks to climb everywhere, learn and study everything. Everyone knows about age-related crises and difficult periods. However, emotions are a complicated thing, and with all the understanding of what is happening, it is sometimes very difficult for parents to restrain themselves and not get annoyed at the baby. Situations when the parents lose their nerves are mostly typical. Let's try to figure out why we are falling for a child, and how to avoid it.
Accumulated fatigue
Most often, mothers of infants suffer from this. Before mother arrived home from the maternity hospital, the whirlpool of care and care for the baby began to spin: change the diaper 20 times a day and wash, and feed, and motion sickness, and walk, and bathe. All habitual life is simply turned upside down. The child does not yet have a regime, so it is simply impossible to plan business and rest. From all this, the mother is in a lot of tension, and a sudden cry or a child's refusal to sleep can be the last straw. A well-known solution to the problem is rest.
- Use your baby’s daytime sleep for your own relaxation, and not for exploits in the kitchen. Even an hour of sleep during the day will help restore strength.
- Drink vitamins and eat right, because even at the physiological level you should have the strength to cope with stress and fatigue.
- Do not try to "drag" the whole house on yourself. Part of household duties should be delegated to the husband or other assistants.
- At least one night a week, appoint dad “on duty” so that he gets up to the baby. You can sleep well at this time.
- Make time for yourself regularly. This time you need to devote only to yourself: go for a haircut or manicure, do needlework, read a book, but just sit at a computer or watch TV. Such activities or rest replenish the parental resource of forces, and the ability to allocate time for them always "warms the soul."
Interesting related articles:
- How can a young mother cope with a child and household chores read here;
- How not to go crazy after giving birth — tips for young mothers;
- Bored sitting at home with a small child: what to do?
- And an article for men: Why are you tired? You are sitting at home (memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave);
- How to attract a husband to care for a child — https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-privlech-muzha-k-uhodu-za-rebenkom.html.
"He climbs everywhere."
If a child crawls, it means that he begins a period of active exploration of space. First, he crawls, grabbing wires and stuffing everything in his mouth, then he starts to get up at the support and reach for things on tables and cabinets. Parents’s head is spinning, because the child constantly has “forbidden” objects in his hands and mouth, and he also opens the closets, drawers drawers, tries cat food ... Mom doesn’t leave the feeling that she should turn away for a second - to happen State of emergency, and it doesn’t matterwhether you’re at home or outdoors. Instead of being nervous, it is better to adapt the space and yourself to the needs of the child.
- Highlight the “play area” for the baby. To do this, you can spread a blanket on the floor, put toys there and protect with an impromptu "fence" of pillows. In any case, as a temporary measure, such a playing field will be useful: you can cut out 20 minutes and get distracted and constantly monitored.
- Make sure that everything that should not fall into the hands of the child is securely hidden from him: the wires can be removed into the cable channels, all fragile, sharp, heavy objects can be lifted higher, the cabinets and drawers should be locked with locks. At this age, the verbal prohibitions "do not meddle" and "do not touch" simply do not work (read about how to tell a child “not allowed”), so it’s better not to create reasons for annoyance and secure the house for the child (see article on how to secure a home for a child / how to secure the kitchen (what to do with the child in the kitchen)).
- When going for a walk, take care of comfortable clothing not only for the crumbs, but also for yourself. At the playground, mom has to run around and step into the mud (sometimes it happens :)), and bend over many times. For a child, a walk is an opportunity to spend time actively, and mom will be constantly annoyed because of her uncomfortable clothes. That is why heels and skirts are not the best option for clothes for a walk with the baby.
“He does everything across”
After 1.5 years, children begin to show their own desires and aspirations. At this age, it becomes important for a child to insist on his own; therefore, everything that parents say and want is met with resistance and the intention to do the opposite. Such disobedience can manifest itself in absolutely any situation from food and fees for a walk (categorical “no” to try to put a spoon in your mouth, tighten your hat, tantrums when dressing) to a walk on the playground (mother forbids throwing sand, and the baby does it enthusiastically again and again, or runs away when he is told that you can’t leave your mother).
- Do not try to influence the word, because the child does not yet accept verbal commands. Without screaming and annoying, just do what you need: put on a hat, stop the child’s hand so that it does not perform an undesirable action, take it in an armful and carry it away from a dangerous place, hold your hand so that it does not run away.
- If you go on business (to the store, to the post office, to the bank to pay receipts) - put the child in a stroller. This eliminates the need to constantly monitor his actions and be distracted.
Tantrums
[sc: rsa]
Closer to three years, kids begin to react hysterically to any restrictions and prohibitions. The magnitude of the reaction can be very different: from a short cry to skating on the floor. This happens because the child still does not know how to control his emotions, and with prohibitions and refusals he experiences strong disappointment and anger. Our task is to teach the child to express his emotions in an adequate way.
- Keep calm yourself and do not focus on the tantrum. No matter how it looks from the outside, for a small child, this behavior is the age norm.
- Together, orders to calm down immediately pronounce the feelings of the child: "I see that you are very angry, it offends you that I did not allow you ..." etc.
- Try to retire: no spectators - no performance. Moreover, some "viewers" like to give their comments about what is happening, and this only inflames the child.
- If you are in a crowded place and do not want to attract attention - try switching your child to something. In this case, you can carry an interesting toy with you in your bag and use it to distract, or turn on your favorite cartoon on the phone, or look around - suddenly something interesting happens nearby (animators walk in full-length puppets, someone trains a dog, etc.) d.). In general, if the situation allows, it is better to let the baby fully live his feelings and not block them - only in this way he will learn to understand and manage them.
Interesting:What should parents not do when a child behaves unbearably?
Negativism
When the crisis of 3 years is in full swing, the child gives a protest on literally every word of an adult. It seems that the baby has become completely uncontrollable: the interests of the child conflict with the interests of the adult at every turn. This is also a normal process, and since there really is a conflict of interests in such a situation, you don’t need to try to “break” the will of the child and insist on your own in any situation. Our task is to teach the child different ways to resolve conflicts.
- In some situations, you can give way to a child. For example, a child does not want to swim, because he played with his favorite designer, screams and scandals, not agreeing to go to the bathroom. You can say: “Well, as an exception, today we’ll cancel swimming, since you have such an interesting game. But let's only today, and tomorrow we will again observe the regime. ”. From one missed bathing, nothing bad will happen, but the child will receive an important experience in upholding his interests. Or another option is to tell the child that we’ll bathe first, and then you’ll play your constructor.
- In some situations, it is important to compromise. For example, a child wants to watch cartoons, but you do not want to be late for a visit. Then you need to agree: the child will look at one cartoon instead of three, and then you can leave the house in time.
- In certain situations, you need to stand firm. For example, you can cross the road only with your mother’s hand, in windy weather you can walk only in a hat. Moreover, when you introduce some kind of strict rule, the child must understand that you are doing this out of a desire to take care of him: so that he does not get under the car, does not catch a cold, etc. Therefore, you need to pronounce all the rules calmly and confidently, with an explanation of the reasons.
Any situation where a child is angry and annoying can be settled peacefully. Stock up on patience and advice, and then irritation and discontent will be replaced by constructive communication with the child.
More tips:
I would add yet, there’s no need to rush and worry, everything has its time. The vagaries will also go away over time, calm and once again calm, let the child understand that he cannot blackmail you.
Familiar situations =) When I get very tired, so I can rest a little, from time to time I ask my mother or mother-in-law to sit with her daughter. Fortunately, they live nearby. And to my advantage, and they are only happy =)
Parents are people too! And they also need a timeout, and there is nothing shameful and terrible in this.