Decree is a real test for any woman. First of all, because you have to change your lifestyle, sacrifice some of your favorite habits. As a result, many women complain that they are unbearably bored sitting at home with young children. Let's talk about how to diversify your leisure activities while sitting at home with a child.
Many women sitting at home with a small child are bored. Moreover, such a boredom wave can develop into a real depression, so it is very important to find a way out of the circle of constant dissatisfaction with life as soon as possible.
And most importantly: that you are bored, there can be nothing reprehensible or even shameful! In no case should you blame yourself, considering a bad mother. You are a beautiful mother, you are just a person who has his own needs (both physical and intellectual), interests, hobbies, without which life seems boring, losing its usual colors. And this is absolutely normal! Therefore, we hide away from time to time a sense of guilt, and begin to reason sensibly.
Are you afraid to admit to yourself and others that you are bored of sitting at home with a child? No panic: this fact, although it causes a strong sense of guilt and outright shame, does not at all confirm that you are a bad mother. Not at all, on the contrary, you are a perfectly normal mother! And our mom site kid.htgetrid.com/en/ will try to prove it to you and give some tips on how to survive this difficult period in your life.
Why does it get boring at all
While still pregnant, any woman draws her future decree in the brightest colors. It seems to her that these will be the happiest few years in her life. But when this long-awaited time comes, it turns out that everything is not so easy and healthy, discontent arises, which easily turns into depression.
A woman asks herself (naturally, feeling guilty): what is wrong with me, why am I bored, what am I missing, because my dream has come true, I have a beautiful child, etc.? Everything is very simple. On the shoulders of a modern woman there are a lot of responsibilities that no one thought to cancel with the advent of the child. She, as before, should (from the point of view of the stereotypes of modern society) look great, cook well, maintain cleanliness and comfort in the house, be a good lover, etc.)
And no one is asking what the woman herself wants, is it easy for her. The situation is aggravated if the young mother has no assistants. But the older the child, the more time and effort he requires.Six months, a year and a half, and the woman begins to realize that she is already unbearably bored ...
Each was faced with a situation where it was necessary to break away from the work begun in order to devote time to the child. Once again, the kid runs up, tugs at the clothes with the words: “Mom, let's go play!”. And you obediently turn off the iron, turn off the undercooked soup, throw the underweight underwear, turn off the under-watched series, or end the unfinished conversation on the phone (or put off any other business) and go build locks, a house for Barbie, do hairstyles for dolls or roll cars. It would seem that it should be very exciting - to play pirates or hide and seek, sculpt funny rabbits and cubs from plasticine, give injections to patients and give them toy pills. And all this looks fascinating only from the side, and for the hundredth time it is already far from so much fun! And in order to get genuine pleasure from children's games, you probably need to fall into childhood yourself ...
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Parents must go into childhood with all their being in order to truly enjoy the game with young children.
But this is very rare, especially in our time, when there are so many temptations and so many interesting things! This is an exciting movie, and books, and communication with your beloved friends, and the opportunity to chat with girlfriends on the phone. And what is the Internet alone? As you can see, the interests of mom and baby are completely different, as a result of which the woman begins to miss a lot. And the children, even the smallest ones, feel this very well, catching the slightest mood swings of their mother. And here conscience begins to torment, because the baby is not to blame for anything!
Is there a way out of the vicious circle
So what to do in a situation when games with a child are bored, how to diversify your leisure activities while sitting on maternity leave? Is it possible at all, or is it just that, with clenched teeth, to endure these few years, until the child goes to kindergarten and more time appears for his personal life and interests?
There is definitely a way out.
- Firstly, you must honestly admit that you are bored, that this is the main reason for your discontent.
- Secondly, to get rid of a natural, but completely inappropriate sense of guilt in front of your child. We repeat once again: you are not to blame for anything, you also deserve to be happy, and you are not obligated to make any sacrifices to the long-awaited motherhood.
- Thirdly, you need to try to find and realize the main reasons that make you bored.
And finally, find a way out of the circumstances.
Consider the most important reasons that make it unbearably boring for you to sit at home with a small child, as well as tips that can help you make a difference.
Fatigue
And this is understandable: a woman has to redo a huge number of cases that require enormous energy costs (constant feeding, bathing, changing her baby, active games, cleaning the apartment, cooking, and much more). It is exhausting, draining, and at times drives into real depression. The child requires vigorously running around the house with him, and you do not even have the strength to stand up.
What can be done here? We advise you to analyze your “working” day in detail, highlighting the main and secondary matters. More often than not, women suffer from misplaced priorities. Decide immediately what is important to you and what is secondary and focus on the first, and the rest - if possible.
The next step is to think about how you can unload your “working” day a bit, because it is simply impossible to enjoy talking with the child, cooking dinner with one hand, ironing the other with the other, playing with the baby, etc. Live easier! Not ironed linen will not go anywhere (you can always iron it tomorrow), today did not have time to wash the floors? - Wash tomorrow! Cases have always been, are and will be, they need to be treated "philosophically."And the husband may well, as far as possible, connect to homework, even if he works (you also work in your own way, and it is not yet known whose work is harder). It’s great if you can discuss your problem with your husband, ask for help and find a way out together.
Do not try to be an ideal mother, wife and mistress at the same time - no strength is enough.
It is impossible, having a small child, to keep the house in perfect condition, and everyone understands this.
We also read: Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave
As always, no time
Shortage of free time is the second important reason leading to the fact that a woman experiences constant discontent while sitting at home with her child. The most vivid confirmation of this: forums for mothers are simply full of complaints about how little time they have left for themselves.
What to say? We women are sensual creatures. We urgently need positive emotions that beautiful dresses, make-up, favorite films and books, chatting with friends and so on give us. And in the decree, this need does not disappear. To each of us, in order to feel happy, it is important to find time for ourselves, our hobbies and small joys.
What can be done in the face of acute time pressure? Well, firstly, if you correctly assessed and prioritized (see the previous chapter), you probably understood what matters you can neglect during the day in order to allocate a free minute for yourself.
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Secondly, you should not be shy and ask for help from relatives (husband, grandparents, grandfathers, and sometimes friends). You will be surprised, but even a minimal change of scenery (for example, you left a child with your grandmother, but went to a manicure yourself, met a friend, visited the pool, etc.) can change your mood very much and energize! Having returned home even after a short rest (sometimes even an hour or two is enough), you will miss your baby so much that playing with him will give you pleasure for a long time!
Believe me, it is possible (and necessary) to find and find time for yourself in any circumstances, if you correctly distribute all the same priorities. Fortunately, we live in a time of high technology, and today each of us has a washing machine, multicooker and more, which significantly simplifies life and saves time.
We also read: 7 household appliances needed by any mom
Sometimes, in order to relieve stress and switch, it is enough to put the child to bed, make fragrant tea for himself and just enjoy for some time, letting go of all the worries. And there can be a lot of such amenities (coffee in the park while the baby is sleeping in the stroller, evening bath, while the baby is playing with dad, something delicious, talking with a girlfriend on the phone, etc.)
Tired of being a mom. How not to go crazy on maternity leave:
Diversify activities with a child
Do you want your child to grow up smart and well developed? Do you think that teaching a child is boring and uninteresting? Thanks to the huge number of modern developing techniques and devices, you can turn the learning process into a fascinating (both for the child and for you) process. Do not neglect this opportunity! Feel free to buy all kinds of finger paints, designers, forks and do it with pleasure. And most importantly - turn on the fantasy, you can always come up with something interesting for both of you!
Moreover, subject to financial capabilities, professional courses are offered at which professional educators will be engaged in your child (and you can devote this time to yourself).
Moms snapping up all sorts of teaching aids and techniques to work hard every day with their crumbs. For what? In order to tell my friends at the next meeting: “And we already know Esenin by the teeth, and this is a year and a half!”
It is very important in this matter not to overdo it. All classes are good in moderation, and strong pressure is able to discourage the child from learning.Perhaps the ideal option would be classes at an early development school 1 or 2 times a week, at which the child will be really interested. And most importantly, you don’t need to force things and strive to teach your child what he is not ready for yet (for example, to teach to read before three years). It is much better to play interesting and developing games with him. So, do not go too far, let everything be gradually and in due time.
Bored without work
The fact is that women who, prior to the decree, were actively building a career, passionately loved their work, or simply led an active business lifestyle, did not have enough of these impressions. Especially when they watch their successful colleagues who, without slowing down, achieve labor success.
In this case, think about how you could realize yourself by sitting on maternity leave. This can be either a part-time job at the same workplace, or another type of activity that you could engage in without harming your family. For example, you can agree with your boss and work half-time or take some work home. If this is not possible, you can try to master any other type of activity that does not require full employment (there are a lot of options: network marketing, working on the Internet, etc.) Thus, you can realize, develop, and money will never be superfluous there are.
We also read: Work at home for moms on maternity leave without fraud and investment - 8 best vacancies for 2018
Lack of communication
With the advent of the child, habitual communication becomes much less. This is understandable: to friends who do not have children, or those whose children have grown up, are not particularly interested in talking about breastfeeding and childhood diseases. Because of this lack, women become very bored.
What to do in this situation? Look among your circle for those who, like you, have recently given birth to a baby or are just preparing for this event. Feel free to suggest spending time together. You can walk or go to visit each other. Common interests are very common. And playing with the baby in the company of other children and their mothers is always more fun.
Too monotonous games
What could be worse than monotony? Of course, kids are very interested in running and jumping all day, playing with their favorite toys, which can not be said about you. The same games, day after day, are incredibly tiring and boring.
How to be? Turn on your imagination and come up with a variety of games and activities that will please both of you. As an option: invite your child to draw with finger paints on unnecessary wallpapers and join this fascinating activity, cook toy food with your child, wash children's dishes, and come up with a lot of fun active games. To help you - soap bubbles, mosaics, kinetic sand, plasticine, developing designers, an easel on which you can create your first masterpieces, and much more.
And be more attentive to your baby, do not let him know that you are a burden to play with him. In the end, it’s not his fault that you have too many things to do. Much better involve him in housework (of course, within reason). Invite the child to participate in cooking (for example, he can very well cut vegetables or fruits with a toy knife), cleaning the apartment (for example, to help you hang clothes, lay down your toys, wipe the dust on a small table, etc.). Believe me, most children with great pleasure and enthusiasm accept such requests! Another huge plus of such activity is that the child learns something new, feels necessary and useful.
6 ways to entertain a child without toys. Educational games with a child 1 - 3 years:
But, if, having tried all these methods, you still dream of running away from home, you can try hire a babysitter. And do not think that there is something shameful in this, because by shifting part of the duties to another person, you will have more opportunities to communicate with your beloved child.
As you can see, making your life on the decree more diverse and vibrant is quite realistic, the main thing is not to lose heart and think a little. Remember also one banal truth: in order to work, you will have a lifetime, and the child will be small only once. In the end, these are the happiest years that we will remember more than once in the future. Good luck to you and your children!
READ ALSO:
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When mom is bored with the baby. Diary of Mom - Psychologist
Someone is bored, and someone drags from motherhood. Personally, I devoted these 2 years of my life to restoring my figure through long daily walks with my child and working on freelance work - he saved many mothers from depression. And if there is a grandmother, then do not be shy, give the child to her and run to the beauty salon, at least once a month.
With a small child on maternity leave it does not get bored at all. If you do not deal with it, then there will certainly be housework. I would identify the word “laziness” with the word “boring”. It is under the second word that the desire to communicate with the baby and generally do something is veiled. Subconsciously, a woman wants somewhere deep down to return to a carefree past.
Out of boredom, I began to knit, read books. It is also necessary to devote time to oneself. The daughter is 1 year 8 months old, she can already occupy herself, plays with toys, measures clothes, runs with the dog. If you drive yourself, you can just start to break down at all, including a child who is not guilty of anything.
History, I think. familiar to everyone sitting with the child at home. It seems like you're busy all day, getting tired as if you were plowed, broken by the evening. And as a result, there’s still a lot of things to do, there’s no time to take care of yourself, there is irritability, anger at yourself and at your husband. At first, I had it. Then I made a schedule for myself as a student at school. Allocated time in it for her sleep during the day, for taking care of herself. The schedule had to be adjusted several times. It depends on the time of walking and sleeping the child. I got used to two weeks, the main thing is not to retreat. Now everything is debugged. I have time for everything, face, body, hair are in order. The mood is great!