The birth of the firstborn is a difficult test of conjugal love and relationships, even if the child is long-awaited. With the birth of crumbs in the life of young parents, global changes in established life take place. There is a lot of trouble taking care of a newborn, and a young mother often does not pay the necessary attention to her husband. Isn't that a familiar situation? How to establish life and strengthen marital relations?
Learning to negotiate
Both parents have their own expectations regarding how their family life will be built after the birth of the baby. However, the real picture is often far from ideal, so the couple begin to feel discontent and frustration. The future mother expected that the spouse would be more attentive to her and the newborn, and the future dad believed that the wife herself would do just fine - after all, sitting with the baby is so "simple".
You should not accumulate disappointment, and then pour out discontent at each other. Sit at the negotiating table, without shouting and scandals, discuss the problems that have arisen and find a compromise.
Only for young mothers
Mom should escape from everyday worries and review their own rules for the sole fulfillment of all duties. After all, if you do not let your spouse to the baby, how will he learn to care for him?
- Show and tell. Tell your husband what specific responsibilities he could fulfill. You should not teach, it is better to do everything together at first: bathe a newborn, change diapers, do massage and gymnastics. Unobtrusively show the young dad the tricks by which it is best to calm the baby. We recommend that you read the article The most important newborn care tips. The best memo article for moms and dads
- Specify the front of work. Do not limit yourself to a one-time request - specify the list of responsibilities for which the husband will now be responsible. At first, you can make a to-do list and keep it in a conspicuous place until dad begins to carry out them without control and reminders on your part. And then he will not forget that he needs to walk a dog every day, take out the trash or bathe the baby before going to bed.
- Praise your husband for success. It's no secret that men are somewhat similar to children and they also need praise and encouragement on your part. Choose the best way of gratitude: praise directly or tell the kid how lucky he is with such a wonderful dad.
- Give your husband personal attention. Organize your own day so that in your busy schedule there is free time that you can devote to your husband. In the end, the baby is always looked after by the grandmother, and you can sit in a cafe or just walk together.
- Find time for yourself. Do not be afraid to leave your child with your husband while you take a bath, read books, drink tea in the long-awaited silence or do needlework.Such a vacation will provide an opportunity to replenish strength and again become a calm and confident mother and a loving wife.
- Reduce the level of requirements for yourself. Remember that coping with the two roles of mom and wife is very difficult. It is even more difficult when a woman, overwhelming a complex of excellent pupils, strives to be ideal always and everywhere. Believe me, for family happiness it is not at all necessary to cook a dinner of several dishes, arrange spring cleaning several times a day and deal with the child immediately according to all known methods of early development.
READ ALSO:Arrangement of life before the birth of a child: 8 tips for a future mother
For moms on the topic:
- 14 ways to have a baby when mom wants to relax - https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/14-sposobov-zanyat-rebenka-kogda-mama-hochet-otdohnut.html
- How can a young mother cope with a child and household chores -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-molodoy-mame-spravitsya-s-rebenkom-i-domashnimi-delami.html
- How to keep up with the decree, or 10 rules of a young mother – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-vse-uspevat-v-dekrete-top-10-pravil-molodoy-mamyi.html
- 6 tips for mothers who do not have enough time -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/6-sovetov-dlya-mam-kotoryim-ne-hvataet-vremeni.html
- How not to go crazy after giving birth - advice to young mothers -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-ne-soyti-s-uma-posle-rodov-sovetyi-molodyim-mamam.html
- How to attract a husband to care for a child – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-privlech-muzha-k-uhodu-za-rebenkom.html
Video: how to do everything with a small child:
Only for young dads
It is sometimes much more difficult for a father to change his own lifestyle. After all, now he has to carry a double burden: to help look after the baby and ensure a decent life for his mother.
Keep your house tidy. Take on most of the urgent household chores. Sometimes one dirty plate is able to unbalance a newly made mother. Inspect your possessions every day and figure out what you can do without a reminder from your wife.- Take care of your spouse. Do not be lazy to serve breakfast in bed. Your wife now rarely gets enough sleep, watching over the newborn, and you probably had the opportunity to sleep. Take a walk with the baby while his mom takes a bath.
- Separate responsibilities. Remember that mothers do not have the exclusive right to an infant. The role of the father in raising a child is very important. You make your own contribution to the development of children. He is no more and no less than the mother - he is completely different.
- Be careful. Many young mothers are in no hurry to ask for help, because they do not want to seem bad wives, mistresses and mothers. You should not wait until your wife “burns out” or she has postpartum depression. Offer your help yourself.
Very interesting article: Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave
READ ALSO: how to secure a home for a newborn baby
Separation of responsibilities for caring for a newborn is an important condition for a healthy family relationship. You will be able to take a break from the troubles and look after yourself, and the father will strengthen the emotional connection with the child. Remember that no one will call you a bad mother for such delegation of duties. On the contrary, you will show yourself as a wise woman who wants to like her beloved man.
HOW DOES ALL MANAGE WITH THE CHILD? Tips for young mothers (Irina Sokovykh)
We had all the responsibilities for caring for the baby on me. Of course, I coped with everything, but it was difficult for me, but I could not change anything. Everything changed when I got sick and could not care for the child. The husband took all the responsibilities upon himself and, to my surprise, did an excellent job with everything. After that, everything changed and we participated in caring for our son together.
I myself work in the tax, so from 8 am to six to seven in the evening I am not at home. My husband is engaged in the decoration of wardrobes, works in general for himself, therefore, when there is no way to leave the child with his grandmother, the other half sits with Anechka. 🙂
We became mom and dad only a couple of years ago, therefore, due to inexperience, he constantly turned on her TV with cartoons. The child seems to be sitting, watching, not beating, and while he is watching films at the computer. So, I constantly told him that he should devote more little time.
Forced to walk with her, play (talking alphabet bought, baby piano and much more). At first it was difficult, then I got used to it.
Now he sits with her, and really pays the right time.
I know for myself - when you sit down at a TV, watch cartoons - then from a lack of attention from parents, especially a girl can become sandwiched, unsociable. In the kindergarten, of course, there are many classmates of the same age, but the kindergarten is not that. The main focus in the family itself.
A lot depends on the interior.
We have our own house, we gave her a swing. My husband built a slide in the yard, such a cool one, especially in winter to ride well.
Everything is correctly said, it is necessary to pay attention to each other, to distribute who and what will do.
Princesses need help too. 🙂