Young parents with the birth of a child are faced with the problem of combining care for the baby, household chores and time for themselves. You can learn general recommendations on time planning from the advice of specialists and psychologists, but it is best to take advantage of the experience of the same pairs. Here is one of the stories of a modern girl who faced certain difficulties.
My decree began 8 months ago. I have 2 higher educations and more than 7 years of experience in journalism and PR-companies. But at the same time, I was completely unprepared for the daily chores of the house. I guess I could be attributed to typical urban girls who are used to spending all time with friends in cafes, clubs, cinema and other entertainment venues.
How i changed my life
The first two months of my decree were also the last days of my pregnancy. I was surrounded by attention and tried to control my own laziness so as not to lie on the couch for days.
With the birth of a child, my difficulties began. I was alone in caring for him and household chores. The kid was naughty all the time and, reassuring him, I did not have time to do anything, even take a shower or cook for my husband food. We became frequent visitors to restaurants (or ordered food from restaurants), and this hit our family budget. Yes, and I myself was not ready for this, so I gradually became like a grumpy housewife from popular jokes.
But then came the moment when I was tired of such a routine of life, and I decided to change something. She started a diary in which she began to record new foundations of her life. I’ll make a reservation right away that I’m not going to discover America. A lot of articles and even books have been written on how to keep up with everything. I will try to share my experience and as briefly as possible present some small tips. After all, I know that young mothers have very little time. I want to talk about my experience of motherhood and give young mothers some advice that helped me a lot in my time.
1. The daily routine
This is the most important condition for the full life of a young mother. Most women on maternity leave go to bed late and get up early in the morning, and with great difficulty.And if you take into account the nightly feeding of the baby ... In general, constant lack of sleep can lead to chronic fatigue, rapid exhaustion and burnout. In the future, it will be difficult for you to manage to do all your household duties of mom and wife.
I know many women who have children. At the same time, they manage to do everything at home and at work. The secret is that they try to maintain the correct sleep pattern - they get up early and go to bed early.
Try to describe the daily routine in as much detail as possible, and then stick to it. Thanks to this, you will be able to plan your affairs, will have time to do them, and there will still be time for your family and yourself.
Many young mothers are perplexed “What can be the mode of the day if there is a small child in the house ...” In some ways they are right. Therefore, the daily routine should be drawn up taking into account the natural biorhythms and needs of the child. A mandatory part of the daily routine should be daily walks with the baby, bathing, massage, and then add everything else.
2. Business Planning
Campaigns to the doctor, purchase of products should be planned. Every week, using Evernote, I create a menu for the whole week, i.e. I know that on Thursday I will cook baked sea bass. On the Internet there are a bunch of applications with recipes, with which you can also make a list of products. For example, recipes for Julia Vysotskaya or Bon Apetite. Such planning allows me not to waste time on daily trips to the store, if I suddenly want to make lasagna, and there is no nutmeg at home. All products are purchased once a week.
3. Crushing business
Cooking is an activity that you have to do every day. However, I choose simple recipes. The oven and the crock-pot became my great helpers in this matter. But even with them I need about an hour to cook dinner. Do you know many young children who will sit quietly for so long?
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Since my business was planned in advance, the family ration for tomorrow is already known. I try to divide the cooking into several parts in order to manage to do as many things as possible. I know what will happen for dinner tomorrow, so I can divide the process into parts to speed it up. For example, in the evening, chop vegetables or pickle meat.
In the same way, you can split up all household chores, including cleaning, project tasks (for freelancers). For example, I did it this way: today I wash the floor, and tomorrow I wipe the dust.
4. Timing
Determine for yourself how much time you need to complete certain household chores, and always try to stick to it. If you need to go somewhere at 11 am, then try to do it at this time, and not later.
You can set the clock in each room. This will allow you to always be aware of “what time is it now”, and at the same time complete all the tasks planned for the day.
5. Attracting assistants
Ask family members to look after the child sometimes so you can relax. For me, my husband, grandparents, became such assistants. While grandparents are walking with the child, you can relax. My assistant most often acts as a husband, and, of course, toys, a swing, a highchair, and also a dishwasher, a food processor and a washing machine save.
6. Distribute responsibilities
Household duties should be shared among all family members. It’s not right when all things fall on the shoulders of one person, so do not hesitate to ask for help. One of you will do the cooking, and then the other will wash the dishes and take out the trash.
Most women make the same mistake - take everything on themselves. At the same time, they begin to do all the household chores, and then they also tell their husband that they did something for them. In the future, these matters gradually pass to the woman, as the husband gets used to the fact that everyone is doing for him.
The mistake of many women lies in the fact that they take on other people's duties if they see that they are not done, and then they begin to express that I say they took out the garbage for you.
Do not bring to this! It is better to remind your husband of outstanding matters. But do not go too far, otherwise you will become that very grumpy wife. Distribute all household chores to everyone so that each member of the family is responsible for something. And only in this way mom will not turn into a woman driven by everyday life.
7. Do not put off until later
Do not leave things for later if you can do them right away. Returned from the store with purchases? Lay them out right away. Have you cooked a meal? Clean the stove. Have you had lunch? Wash the dishes after yourself, because washing one cup will take less time than then for a whole bunch, which will accumulate in a day. And all in the same vein ...
8. Find time for yourself
Adhering to the regime and doing your homework is best when you are in a good mood. And what is needed for this, in addition to the calmness of the child? Every young mother is still a girl who needs to feel attractive. And for this, self-care is already required. Take a shower in the morning, do a simple hairstyle and apply light makeup. Here are the simplest tips for every woman to feel confident all day.
I often walk with a child on the street and see that many mothers completely forget about themselves. They stop caring with themselves, and from beautiful outfits they climb into tracksuits. I doubt that their husbands are satisfied with such changes in their wives.
When the husband comes home, take the child and meet him at the door. A trifle, but nice. I think relations are built from such trifles.
9. Simplify
Try to simplify your business. When choosing recipes, do not take particularly complex dishes. For myself, I set a goal to deliciously feed my family and guests, and not to impress them with overseas delights. I prepare complex dishes, but not more than once a week. I also always give myself rest on cooking on Sundays.
10. Do not forget about your hobbies and friends
For this, I began to use Time management. Some husbands themselves constantly communicate with friends, but at the same time forbid their wives to do the same. Or against her hobbies. They forget that a woman is happy when a man accepts her not only as a free housekeeper. If a person does not have the opportunity to do what he loves, then he is unhappy.
Conclusion
At the end of my story I want to thank everyone who read it. My advice is simple, but people often forget about them. I decided to share my experience in order to support other girls and help them quickly get used to such a new role for them as “mother”.
That's what moms write from forums
Svetlanashen: My topic)) There are no helpers at all, from a word at all! One child, I will never go for the second and never! The decree turned me into a crumbling grumpy old woman, I’m 28 in total ... My husband believes that I do not work, I never take care of myself , scatters everything - I will take away time completely! From the fact that everything itself deteriorated in health, I sharply grew old, I feel unhappy (Child 2.5, during this period from constant waking up from crying or from the alarm clock I don’t get enough sleep at all, insomnia and headaches appeared. In short, the period is terrible, but the children are growing ... I will go to work, even though I will no longer see these pan-pans, everything infuriates me.
Elena: Normally, I have time for everything. I get up at 7.00 to 7.30 my time - I drink coffee, go to the shower, do exercises. At 7.30 I pick up the children (there are three of them: 7 years, 6 years and 9 months). The older ones dress, wash, make their beds, I collect small ones. The farthest in 30 minutes I breed in schools / kindergartens. As I gave them all I stop by the store / go to the clinic, pay bills. I come home, feed small, go with her, play, do exercises. Then she’s tired of sleeping, I watch a movie, do yoga, read a book （if she didn’t sleep badly at night, then sleep）, then wake up, she’s in the playpen, I’m cooking, then after senior to school, on the way from school to the platform is for a walk. Then go home for lunch, do homework, get out. Then for the middle to the kindergarten. And now 18.00 and I have everything at home, the food is ready, the apartment is cleaned, the lessons have been learned. All about their business. Older children themselves remove toys, bedding, sweep the floor, vacuum the carpet, disassemble their closet, and wash the dishes.The oldest son can fry eggs, make tea / coffee and take out the trash （but for now he only does it if he wants to）. There is no problem with the little one, you do everything, just with her that's all. Before the third birth, I worked. It was even easier. WHAT do you manage to not be in time？ If suddenly one of the grandmothers takes the children （rarely, but it happens） then my husband and I have time for two, we go to the cinema / cafe / theater, etc.
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Julia: I wear light makeup. I rarely paint my nails, there’s no time for a salon. Therefore, I prefer accuracy. I cook simple dishes, rarely do laborious ones. I’m only ironing things on the street, for the child is shilopop, I'm afraid I will grab onto the iron. I get distracted when he goes to bed in the evening at 21. In the morning he gets up at 6, sometimes at 5. Therefore, there is not enough energy, I go to bed with him during the day, about 2. From entertainment: reading books, chatting, making bracelets from natural stones and crocheting toys ( rarely).
Darya: It seems to me the main secret is that everything is not possible to be in time. “Tell me how you manage to do everything” - “Everything is simple, I do not have time” (C) 🙂 Set priorities, rejoice at your achievements, if you manage to do something from the planned list (plan the day, divide affairs into important, urgent, into unimportant , not urgent), praise yourself, do not self-destruct the thought "I have no time."
Svetlana: I don’t have time ... the machine erases, cooks a slow cooker (at least it doesn’t burn out and doesn’t run away) to sleep where I fell there and sleep (sometimes I sleep in the evening, watch cartoons) I only have 1-2 times a day on myself, only when I sleep but I don’t crash practically, otherwise it will be the same or a tantrum for the whole day !!! he needs everything as a mother ((((and I walk on the day for 3-4 hours, I try to fall asleep on the street, then you can go to a cafe, you can go shopping, you can imagine some kind of delicious drink to buy))))
Garold-99:Set priorities, make a list of tasks for the day, count the time that it will take, and then filter out, more important things in the first place, second in the second, don’t run after everything, you won’t have time, but better and generally plan things for the week ahead , make a schedule, at first it will be difficult, but then you will begin to get used to it.
Lheim:Everything does not work out in any way. Still have to sacrifice something. It is good if there are assistants who can be entrusted with cleaning / cooking, etc. But if they are not there, it’s difficult to keep up, if only to the detriment of sleep, and not last so long. The main thing in this matter is its own agility and the ability to adapt to the situation. In any case, you will have to combine caring for a child with some business: either cleaning, or part-time work. It is very important not to try to do everything perfectly, because best the enemy of the good. If the baby is very tiny, a sling or an ergorypack will help: the baby is to him, he is well, and his hands are free. If the baby is older, then the playpen is what you need.
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The day regimen and business planning helped me a lot on the decree. So I knew what was to be done and distributed tasks for every day. Household appliances help a lot around the house: in the morning I threw everything into the washer, peeled vegetables, the processor cut everything, threw it into the slow cooker (the most common recipes, without problems). She hung the laundry on an electric dryer, the vacuum cleaner quickly coped with cleaning. Well, I attract my husband to help around the house, then the system works well!
My baby is a month old. The most important thing that I realized when I was at home with a baby was that it was impossible to catch everything! Therefore, I do not refuse the help of my husband in terms of cooking, purchasing products. All cases can not be redone. Let the house be not perfectly clean, but my mother will be rested and slept. Nowadays, all medications, clothes and any other necessary things can be ordered via the Internet, which I actually do. When the baby is sleeping, I try to quickly complete the important things and rest myself. In the first few months of a newborn, it is impossible to establish a regimen, no matter how I try. I hope it will be easier next.
My husband and I are planning a second child, and I tell you, a lot depends on the man. I was lucky with my spouse, he is naturally tidy and always helped me in everything while I was busy with my firstborn. I was horrified to read excerpts from the forum, I can’t imagine that my husband would scatter something or make a mistake - they say, “you take a rest, take it away!” ...
I was convinced by the example of my daughter with twins that the routine and regimen helped her cope with two babies alone. She had the patience to feed the two of them at the same time, lay down to sleep, bathe. Gradually accustomed. If they did all this apart, then she would not even have an hour to rest.
When I was on maternity leave 15 years ago, my husband helped me with my son. He cooked and washed the diapers at night. And in the afternoon sometimes I asked my grandmother. If there are good helpers, then life on maternity leave is not so scary.
That's right, the most important thing is the normal regime of the day, you should go to bed on time. Of the assistants, I had only a husband, he walked with the child in the evening and on weekends, if I was busy, and once a week I made purchases. Well, of course, cooking for 2 days at once and day walks on the balcony really helped out) As a result, during the day I managed to do almost everything!