Despite the prevailing opinion, young moms face the greatest difficulties not in the first year of a baby’s life, but in the age period from one to three years. The child is already quite confidently walking, learning to speak, showing his own desires. Add to this alarm for his safety, endless household chores - it is not surprising that mom gets tired and sometimes annoyed. How to deal with this fatigue?
Can I get tired of my baby?
It turns out you can. First of all, it is important to believe that the ideal mothers, who always have time, love everyone, never get tired and are not angry with children and spouses, simply does not exist. Caring for children is a serious job, and it’s no easier than other professions, which require a lot of energy and effort. Therefore, mom should not be ashamed of fatigue.
Here is how one mom describes her condition: “I love my daughter, but I'm tired. I’m tired of constantly inventing new entertainments for her, cleaning toys and dishes, wiping snot, solve conflicts for her on the playground. I just did not have the strength and desires. I want to lie down on a soft bed and close my eyes. And so that there is silence at home! ”
A familiar feeling? Having found the will and courage to admit that you are tired of your maternal work, you will take the first step to get rid of guilt. We offer some secrets of experienced parents to help you cope with fatigue at least a little.
Mom's assistant
Often, modern women look after children at the same time as washing, preparing meals, cleaning the apartment. Due to the endless cycle of household chores, mom is unable to concentrate on one lesson, hence the feeling of tiredness.
Are you again going to do numerous chores in splendid isolation? Stop and think about how your child can help. Of course, you should not offer a two-year-old baby to vacuum the room, but he is already able to collect the toys and put them in a box. And a three-year-old child can clean the dirty clothes in a basket, wipe the dust off the table or put food for his beloved cat in a bowl.
Just don't forget - Children at this age cannot be occupied for a long time in the same thing. Charge a few small simple tasks better than one large and painstaking one.
We also read: 9 simple tips on how to teach a child to help around the house -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/psihologiya-detey/9-prostyih-sovetov-kak-priuchit-rebenka-pomogat-po-domu.html
You are not a servant
Quite often you can watch how mommy rushes around her one and a half year old peanut, fulfills each of his requirements, expressed by a wave of the hand or obscure words, - gives a handkerchief, a toy or a treat.
What can this relationship between mother and child lead to?
- Firstly, the baby does not develop speech well. And the truth is, why should he clearly pronounce every word if his mother understands it perfectly.
- Secondly, there is a chance to bring up a little tyrant, accustomed to the immediate satisfaction of all his whims.
- ThirdlyMom gets very tired of her selfless "service."
Rememberthat you are not a servant, but a parent and mentor for your child. If he is unable to cope with some situation because of his age, you can come to his aid. If the baby can act independently, do not bother him.
We also read: 8 rules of time management for mom -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/8-zapovedey-taym-menedzhmenta-dlya-molodoy-mamyi.html
Interesting games for two
You should not try to entertain the baby every free minute. Thus, you shoulder the excessive burden of coming up with non-recurring activities and, as a result, get tired. You can work with the baby all day, gradually including it in your "adult games" - household chores.
But what if you absolutely do not like the categorical entertainment that your children love? You should not go against your interests and preferences - believe me, not only you will be bored. Kids very subtly feel mom's mood. Try to give up your unloved activities and replace them with the ones you prefer. If the child loves these games and does not want to change them, try organizing them differently - ask your husband to play or invite a friend with a child of the same age to visit.
We also read: 14 ways to keep your baby busy when mom wants to relax
Inconsistency with ideals
According to psychologists, fatigue is a protective reaction to dissatisfaction with the results of their work. The same applies to parenting. Sometimes parents want their children to conform to their ideals, and are ready to do anything for this. Early Development Techniquesreading from the cradle, a foreign language from the cradle, and two more times a week swimming in the pool.
Each failure of the child and the discrepancy with the ideal image causes obvious discontent among adults and makes them “invent” fatigue. Trying to convince loved ones and herself that she was very tired, her mother seemed to say: “I am a good mother. And if something doesn’t work out, it’s not my fault. I’m doing everything in my power ”. In this case, adults need to understand themselves and understand that the kids are not to blame for the fact that they do not meet their ideals and "educational standards." It is then that chronic fatigue is likely to pass.
Time to rest
Sometimes mothers, in fact, get so tired that they do not want to see and hear anyone. It is necessary not to heroize, by force, carrying out the upbringing of the baby and homework, but to rest and sleep well.
- Firstly, tell your husband and child about your decision: “I'm overworked. I need some rest. Let me lie down calmly, and then I will continue to play and do household work ”(article: how to attract a husband to care for a child https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-privlech-muzha-k-uhodu-za-rebenkom.html).
- Secondly, decide on the time (half an hour, an hour) that you can set aside for your rest. If the baby is already three years old, he is able to understand that mom is tired and wants to lie down. If the baby is very small and you cannot reach an agreement with him, ask your spouse or grandmother to look after him.
- Thirdly, do what you especially want: sleep, read a book, watch a fascinating movie. The main condition is silence. Only this will allow you to gain strength, energy and truly relax. If your laconicism scares the child, briefly explain what the matter is.Soon, the baby will understand that Mom is so resting and that it is not worth bothering her at this moment.
- And finally After rest, be sure to talk with the crumb, try to answer all his questions. Remember that children should not feel a lack of communication on the part of their mother, otherwise they will violate any prohibitions to compensate for the lack of parental attention.
Tired of being a mom. How not to go crazy on maternity leave? Family is ...
What if you are tired of being a mom? Marina Romanenko - psychologist, creator of the “Academy of Professional Parenthood”, a business coach and mother of four (for two with her husband) children, will tell about emotional burnout, about how a young mother can find time for herself, for her husband and friends. How to switch and where to get inspiration and strength:
We also read: Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/otchego-tyi-ustala-tyi-zhe-doma-sidish.html
Do not forget that your fatigue and overwork is temporary. Soon your child will grow up, go to kindergarten, which means that you will have free time that you can spend on your favorite hobby, meeting with friends and, of course, relaxation.
Interesting materials for mommies
- The distribution of responsibilities for the care of the newborn. How to establish life in the family with a baby? How to take time for yourself and your husband? – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/kak-naladit-byit-posle-rozhdeniya-rebenka.html;
- How can a young mother cope with a child and household chores read in this article;
- How not to go crazy after giving birth — tips for young mothers;
- How to attract a husband to raise a child - https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/kak-privlech-muzha-k-vospitaniyu-rebenka.html;
- Want to become a super mom? 7 important skills will help you with this! – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/hotite-stat-super-mamoy-7-vazhnyih-umeniy-pomogut-vam-v-etom.html;
- How to establish life after the birth of a child;
- Boring to sit at home with a small child: what to do and how to diversify life? – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/skuchno-sidet-doma-s-malenkim-rebenkom-chto-delat-i-kak-raznoobrazit-byit.html
Motherhood is never to be driven, it is not a burden, it is not difficult when you love your child and at the same time do something. And if your daily routine is addictive to constant stress, then you just need to change the situation, go to relatives or just gather friends while your husband is sitting with a child.
Well, I don’t know ... Personally, after the first year, I feel freer ... Of course there are times when I don’t like something in his behavior or actions, but these are children ... They need to be taught that something is good and bad ... I also try to accustom him to the fact that he’s “Mother’s assistant”, I clean up the toys with him, I ask him to clean his dishes, throw the garbage into a bucket, pick up something that he has disposed of and gradually it becomes a habit for him , which in principle makes my life easier. And by this time there are a lot of activities and entertainments that became of interest to him - drawing, modeling, looking at illustrations from books and joint games.