8 loyal ways to punish children. How to punish a child for disobedience

No matter how much parents love their children, sometimes they have to resort to punishment. After all, by indulging a child, you run the risk of raising an irresponsible teenager who believes that everything is allowed to him. The main thing is not to go too far and not harm the children's psyche. How to constructively punish a child?

10 rules for parents

1. Be consistent. Use the same disciplinary action on your child when he is behaving improperly. Do not arbitrarily change the rules of conduct or punishment without a clear reason. Do not ignore the misconduct of children, even if it is difficult for you to do something with them.
2. Define clear boundaries. Give your child an idea of ​​how you can behave, and how - you can’t, from a very young age by establishing clear boundaries of what is allowed.
3. Relate punishment to misconduct. Little pranks or the first committed misconduct deserve only warning, but deliberate disrespect or aggressive behavior will require a serious reaction. Keep in mind that children are not perfect and learn from mistakes, but they must understand that their bad behavior is unacceptable.
4. Do not punish for long. The child will lose the connection between misconduct and a ban on watching TV if it lasts two weeks. The punishment should be short-term, but effective.
5. Keep calm. If you are constantly angry and raise your voice at children so often that this is already a common occurrence, your anger will no longer affect them. It turns out that you will need to scream even louder so that they notice you.
6. Perform a united front with your spouse. Agree with your husband / wife on the general rules of conduct and punishment for children. The child quickly realizes that one of the parents can forgive him, and begins to manipulate him. Lack of consent can cause problems not only with the offspring, but also in your relationship with your spouse.
7. Be a positive role model. Never forget that children learn by looking at you. Make an effort to be polite, hardworking, honest, and perhaps there will be less reason for punishment.
8. Remember to reward for good behavior. Disciplinary action is only part of the educational process. In addition to punishing misconduct, spend time rewarding such good behavior as kindness, patience, accuracy, hard work.
9. Talk about your expectations. It is important that the child knows what you think is good and bad behavior, and also understand what the consequences of breaking the rules will be. If he is already old enough, he can choose the reward for good behavior, if appropriate.
10. Consider the age and temperament of the child. No two children are exactly alike. Therefore, you cannot use the same disciplinary methods on a three-year and seven-year-old child. If you have a small melancholy growing up, then threats can harm his psychological health.

We also read: To punish or not a child for accidental misconduct?

Methods of constructive and loyal punishment

1. Deprivation of pleasure. If the child received a bad mark for not doing homework, you can restrict access to video games for the weekend. It is important to strip away privileges, not basic needs. Depriving a television or meeting friends is one thing, but sleep deprivation or refusal to feed is already an abuse.
2. "Correctional work." Adults are charged fines or community service for breaking the rules. Why don't you transfer this practice to your child? If he consciously draws on the table, let him wash it. Just don't overdo it. Ideally, labor should be seen as a blessing, not a punishment.
3. Timeout (break). The child is offered to sit in a separate room or on an armchair in a quiet corner and think about his misconduct. Try to find a place where there is no TV, toys or computer. You can not lock it in a dark room, so as not to harm the psyche. The amount of time spent in the timeout depends on the severity of the “offense” and the age of the child. General rule: approximately one minute per year.
4. A personal apology. To ask for forgiveness from the one he offended is not just a constructive punishment for the child, but also preparation for adulthood. If a child cut off flowers in a neighboring flowerbed, make him apologize. For added effect, let the child help clean the flowerbed on Saturday.
5. Ignoring Children often indulge in order to attract the attention of adults. Do not give in to provocation. Explain to the child that if he continues to be mean, you will not talk to him. In the case of prolonged hysteria, you can get out of the nursery, stop communicating with the baby until the scandal ends. Be careful, because prolonged deprivation of parental love turns into torture. We also read: how to respond to the whims of the child
6. Testing on my own experience. Allow your child to make sure that they are true to their own experience. He ran through the puddles - as a result of a squishy nose and bed rest. But you should know the measure with the consequences of negative actions so that the child does not cause himself any real harm.
7. "Temporary arrest." If a teenager has committed a serious misconduct, you can limit his communication with his friends: do not let on a birthday or a party. You can not apply this type of constructive punishment constantly, since in adolescence, friendly relations with peers are very important.
8. A fairy tale instead of punishment. To learn the rules of behavior, read the child's tales that will allow him to understand and feel that others have such experiences and problems. Through fabulous images, children are offered exits from difficult situations, ways of resolving conflicts. At the end of each story, the hero (and therefore the child) understands that this can no longer be done. We read the article: the influence of fairy tales on the development of children

We also read: Why you can not spank a child - 6 reasons

Is physical punishment permissible?

Perhaps, not a single topic in raising a child causes such a heated discussion as physical punishment. Many teachers and psychologists speak out against him unanimously, believing that whipping only gives rise to fear and resentment in adults in a child. To avoid slapping and cuffs, children become dodgy and learn to lie.

True, it is necessary to distinguish between the systematic beating of children with an officer belt with a buckle and the reaction of adults to the dangerous behavior of the child. Surely you could watch a startled mother spank her baby, who ran onto a busy road and almost fell under the wheels of a car. In such extreme cases, physical exposure usually does not harm the child, since it does not carry humiliation.

We also read: Very simple ways to show children that you love them.

How to punish children, it is up to their parents only. The main thing is to do it correctly and constructively. Do not go too far with disciplinary actions, it is better to explain to the child, without screaming and physical punishment, why he behaved incorrectly, and then he will understand you.

We also read:

• Why you can not beat a child - the consequences of physical punishment of children
• 7 gross mistakes of parents during quarrels with children
• How to punish a child
• Is it necessary to punish a child in 3 years: opinion of parents and psychologist

A selection of video tutorials: how to punish children for disobedience

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