Some parents still consider spanking an effective method of education. And in fact, it’s worth a couple of times to hit the child, as he stops doing what adults think is wrong. However, many experts are increasingly citing convincing evidence of the harmful effects of corporal punishment on children. Let's find out why you should not use physical violence when raising a child?
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- Children learn by imitation. Parenting spells teach children that using violence is perfectly normal, especially if you are bigger and stronger than another person. The pedagogical literature provides a curious example. Mom, who believed that spanking disciplines children, once noticed how her three-year-old daughter beats her younger brother. She in horror asks the girl: “Why are you beating Dima?” The baby in response proudly declares that she simply plays with her brother "in the daughter-mother."
- Spanking reduces self-esteem. The child is still too young to recognize the causal link between spanking and his own bad behavior. Therefore, the baby begins to think that they beat him not because he broke his father’s laptop, but because he is the worst in the world and his parents do not like him. Accordingly, this prevents the formation of adequate self-esteem at his age.
- Spanking is ineffective. Perhaps for the first time after a slap, the child will obey you. But not because he realized his bad deed. He was frightened and confused, and also wants to return your love and good attitude. If slaps become commonplace, then the child accepts them as an inevitable evil and does not want to change their behavior.
- The blow is worthy of condemnation. Any corporal punishment is the use of force, in other words, the action is wrong, condemned by society and in itself worthy of punishment. Imagine if a colleague suddenly seized the moment and hit you, because you did something wrong at the workplace. If you think that to beat another person is a crime, how does a child differ from other people?
- Recognition of own powerlessness. Adults often make the following argument in favor of physical punishment: “My baby just does not react to anything else!” Then the problem is not in the child’s actions, but in your relationship with him and inability to apply more worthy methods of education. Using spanking, parents sign their own weakness, which drops their authority in children's eyes. Those, in turn, conclude that they can get the better of adults with their provocations.
- Growing distrust of parents. Physical punishment breaks affection and destroys the love and trust that exists between children and parents. Spanking is effective only because the child is small and can still counter their own strength.True understanding arises only when the family respects each other.
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Important: To beat or not to beat a child - the consequences of physical punishment of children
How to resist spanking
- Explain the consequences. Let your child know that he did wrong. Tell him that bad actions can lead to undesirable consequences.
- Take a break for yourself. It is useful for all family members. Disappointment and bad mood can lead to the fact that you, having twisted yourself, spank your little prankster. If you feel that emotions or anger are overwhelming you, then take a break for yourself. Have a cup of coffee, talk on the phone with a friend, look through the magazine.
- Have a child learn a lesson. Do not assume that it is your responsibility to prevent the consequences of any child’s act. Sometimes it’s better to let the child do something — let him learn a lesson from the situation (assuming complete safety).
We also read: How to encourage a child?
Sometimes even the mildest parent can slap a baby in a fit of anger. If this still happened, be sure to apologize to him and tell him that it was his bad deed that made you lose his temper and made you break the rules. So you can with honor come out even of the most difficult situation.
We also read:
- How to punish a child
- 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to punish a child for disobedience
- Is it necessary to punish a child at 3 years: the opinion of parents and a psychologist
Why you can not beat children. Parental self-control and physical punishment
I never spanked both sons, I believe that you can’t teach in this way. If I don’t like something, I always try to talk first, to explain that you can’t do this and how to do it right. And if it doesn’t help, then it’s better to ban something for a while than to spank))
If you abuse spanking, the child will develop a syndrome of “learned helplessness” and at a more adult age he will not respond to his offenders, it will be normal for him to be sprinkled on him. The child needs to be encouraged for good deeds, not spanked for bad ones.
There are such children whom only a slap can sober up, well, this is from my observations of friends in the yard games.
I don’t spank my children, they don’t give a reason) I can only start talking very strictly in response to misconduct and yes, I agree that the use of force is the last thing.
The parent must be able to explain what is good, what is bad, what is permissible, and what is unacceptable!