Unfortunately, very often children behave badly, not in the way their parents expect from them: they are naughty, curse, have tantrums and even fight. Why is this happening? Perhaps they have a bad temper? Before deciding what educational methodology to apply to your child, you need to understand the probable cause of his act. What does he want to say with his bad behavior?
1. He wants attention
If children want attention, bad behavior often serves as a sure means of acquiring it. When parents talk on the phone, chat with friends, watch TV or cook in the kitchen, the children feel left out. They can shout, throw a tantrum or bang their brother to gain their interest. Let it be negative attention, but the adult will look at them, talk and take some time out of his busy schedule.
- What to do?
Ignoring negative behavior and rewarding (even if it will be praise) good deeds is one of the best methods of dealing with a little bully.
2. He copies other people's behavior
Children learn to behave by looking at other people. The child tries on models of other people's behavior, looking at peers in kindergarten, watching cartoons, playing computer games and, most importantly, copying their parents.
- What to do?
Watch that your preschooler watches on TV what games he prefers to play, with which of his friends he communicates most often. Well, of course, be an example of the kind of behavior you expect from your child.
Read also:7 examples of how parents encourage child misconduct
3. He checks the limits
When you set the rules, enter the daily routine and tell the child what he should not do, he will definitely want to know how serious this is. “You can’t take away toys from your brother!” - you pronounce strictly, and the three-year-old baby will definitely check why it is impossible, whether you always allow it and what will be the violation of the rule. What if tomorrow will be possible?
- What to do?
It is important to set clear boundaries and talk about the consequences. If the child thinks that there is little chance of the optional fulfillment of your rule, then there will be a temptation to break it. Make it clear that for each violation a negative consequence awaits him.
4. He lacks skills
Sometimes behavioral problems are associated with a lack of skills. For example, a child who lacks social skills can hit another baby. Children who cannot speak can bite peers or parents.
- What to do?
Teach your child new skills that will help him behave correctly. Do not punish or teach him a lesson; better show an alternative to bad deeds so that he can learn from his mistakes.
5. He wants independence
Children often break the rules and behave defiantly in an attempt to defend their independence.Three-year-olds constantly say “I myself”, although they are not yet ready even for elementary independence. But they will still shout, refuse your help and behave disrespectfully many times more often than usual.
- What to do?
Give your baby freedom with clear boundaries. Remember that in these years his independence, self-esteem and his personality are being laid.
6. He cannot control his emotions.
Sometimes children have no idea what to do with their feelings. They can easily become aggressive when angry. "Why did you hit Seryozha?" - Mom asks the little brawler. He in response only shrugs.
- What to do?
Preschoolers must be taught to express feelings such as sadness, disappointment, anxiety, and anger in a healthy way to prevent bad behavior. And already a seven-year-old child who has learned to control emotions will think many times before hitting his neighbor at the desk.
7. His needs are not met
When a young child experiences hunger, fatigue or malaise, he uses tantrums to “tell” about it. And how else to convey to his mother that he was tired in kindergarten, a little sick or wants to eat?
- What to do?
For example, go to the store with the baby only after he has slept after dinner, or take sandwiches with you for a quick snack. Constantly ask your child how he feels and look for clues that may indicate his unmet needs.
By the way, those children whose desires are not chronically fulfilled may have serious problems in the future.
8. He is fighting for power
The struggle for power and the desire to control their own behavior often lead to bad deeds - tantrums, negativity and refusal to act. “Misha, clean the room,” Mom demands, and the child defiantly turns to the computer and continues to play another shooter.
- What to do?
One way to avoid a power struggle is to offer your child two options. For example, ask: “When will you clean the room: now, or will you wait until the cartoon ends?” Having offered a choice, you give the baby some control over the situation and remove the cause for a quarrel.
9. He always gets what he wants.
Perhaps the most common reason for poor behavior is that children behave this way because it is effective and leads to the desired result. For example, the baby, having cried and having arranged a scene in the store, receives the treasured machine. The little manipulator quickly realizes that a loud roar is a great way to get everything he wants.
- What to do?
Disregard children's whims and do not try to fulfill any whim. Their number (and cost) will only grow over time.
10. He needs the help of a specialist
Sometimes the causes of poor and sometimes dangerous behavior are a variety of mental disorders. In particular, a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can act impulsively and aggressively. A child with a developmental delay is often a bully just because he does not understand the rules of behavior.
- What to do?
If you suspect that your preschooler has health problems or developmental disabilities, be sure to contact a pediatrician or psychologist. Indeed, bad behavior in this case is a sign of much more serious problems.
We also read:
- How to correct a child’s bad behavior in 7 days
- Why are children rude?
- 10 games to overcome child aggression
- To punish or not a child for accidental misconduct?
- What should parents not do when a child behaves unbearably?
It turns out that almost any bad deed of a baby can be considered as another way to find mutual understanding with their parents.But if the child feels that he is safe, they understand, love and value him, then he no longer needs to be ruffian, outrageous and arrange scenes.
Another video about the causes of poor child behavior:
How to avoid the causes of poor child behavior?
We only behave badly if you pay little attention to the child. Thus he tries to attract attention to his person. I do not punish him for this.
Our bad behavior only happens when we sleep poorly. In all other cases, the behavior is good, well, or normal. There are no tricks.
If I categorically say no to my child, he immediately starts to behave badly. so he shows his character. So I try to refuse the child his requests more loyally.