Moms who are raising several young children know firsthand what daily stress is. Day after day, their children are in conflict with each other, competing in who is better, and trying to attract attention by crying. Constant quarrels, fun, screams and fights for the title of the owner of the house can drive crazy even quite balanced, calm mothers. They begin to think that ideal children are everything, but not their own. If you well understand what is at stake, and want to correct the behavior of the child, we offer an effective plan of action for the coming week.
The right reaction is the key to success!
To aggravate a situation with bad behavior of children your improper reaction can. Even if you feel that the nerves are stretched to the limit and the degree of irritability increases at lightning speed, start education with the transition don't scream. Children tend to fall into a daze from too loud voice and hysteria of their parents. They perceive an increased tone as a direct threat and completely stop responding to what they are told.
A special result will not follow with a polite address to the kids. You should not expect that a child will respond with a humble consent to a request to change his behavior and become almost ideal. A complete correction can be achieved, thanks to well-thought-out actions, in just one week. And you can start on Monday!
Day one: try to ignore
You can start applying a strategy to improve behavior by analyzing your mistakes. First you need to determine what your actions during children's skirmishes are not entirely true. Surely, you, like other mothers, are too emotional about the bad behavior of your children. A negative reaction in conflict situations is considered by many parents to be a better action than its absence. This opinion is shared by the American doctor of philosophy, a child clinical psychologist - Ed Christoffersen.
This strategy needs to be changed and try not to interfere in the children's quarrel. If the situation is simply ignored, nothing supernatural and terrible will happen, you will not be deafened by children's cries, and your children will not send each other an arc to traumatology. And about your new approach to conflict, you can notify the children at breakfast. Tell them that you are starting the game "I see nothing, I hear nothing."
Day Two: We Think Positive
Your morning may begin with fears that the tomboy conflict will continue.Such a development of events becomes a reality when you yourself subconsciously ask a negative program for the day. Try to think positively! Remember those cloudless days when the children got along well with each other - and such behavior can miraculously be repeated.
When the youngest child complains that he cannot independently create a new mosaic, invite him to do what he already knows how to do well. If the baby continues to act up and insist on playing with the mosaic, the older child is likely to rush to help and share his experience. Thank him for the initiative and kind attitude towards his brother or sister and remind the children that they are proud of both of them.
Day three: organize a joint walk
The next stage of interaction is aimed at pacifying children's moods. Tell the kids in the morning that they will have an exciting day at the amusement park, and give 10 minutes to the camp. Children obviously will not want to be late for the bus and stay at home and will try to pack up faster than they do on ordinary weekdays. The positive experience of the second day can be applied here. Praise the elder brother for helping to dress the younger, and the latter for composure and obedience. Your compliments will be a pleasant encouragement, and a joint walk will bring the whole family together and give a joyful mood.
Day Four: Acting Fairly
Parents are mistaken when they think that children purposefully want to unbalance them. They convict kids that they test them for strength, rolling tantrums more and more often and on a large scale. In contrast to this opinion, the author of children's books on psychology, G. Unruh believes that all the whims of children have a justification. And attention should be focused on the feelings that arise from the ugly behavior of the kids. The situation should be given a fair assessment. Children will feel understood and calmly endure punishment for wrongdoing.
In a situation where an older sister pushes her brother for breaking her beads, her mother will want to side with the baby and scold the older one. Instead of this approach, you should take a neutral position and say: “The fact that you are angry with your brother for a torn thing is normal. BUT, you should go to your room, calm down and think about your behavior. You must understand that you shouldn’t beat him in response. ” With these words, you will make it clear to your daughter that you understand her, but you want her to answer for her misconduct as well.
Fifth day: follow the sequence
How you deal with the increased emotionality of your children depends on your mood at a particular moment. Own mood will have to be controlled. Bertie Bregman, director of family medicine in New York, encourages parents to follow the sequence. Clarify your expectations for yourself and avoid your own emotional impulses. Prepare and use a template phrase in response to the baby's protests.
Anticipate hysteria attempts with calm answers. On the vagaries of the lack of toothpaste with a favorite smell, say: "You will brush your teeth with the paste that is, and you will not be upset, because this is an unworthy behavior for a boy." Or: "You will eat for dinner what I have prepared for everyone, and you will not be upset ...". When a child gets used to such a phrase, his childish protests will noticeably decrease.
Day Six: Change the Rules
On Saturday, you can deal with the bad habits of children. The time they usually spend watching cartoons, playing games on a phone or tablet, and battles over owning a remote control or gadgets will have to take more useful things. Although, concern for the mental health of the younger generation will be taken with hostility.
Violation of the rules that have already developed in the family will cause screams and protests (even if all previous Saturdays you had a family viewing of children's comedies, today will be an exception to the rule).You can easily suppress them, as you dealt with this on Monday. Children will understand that attempts to pull the blanket to their side are unsuccessful, will read books or work, and you can safely prepare lunch or dinner.
Seventh day: relax as a family
Moms should also have holidays and weekends, like all people. Sunday is just that free day, which is usually filled with household chores. During the performance of household duties, mothers forget that you can spend this time with children. The love and tenderness that they give cannot be compared with anything! And the task of the seventh, Sunday, day is to postpone washing and cleaning and go to nature with the whole family. You can take a ball with you, play badminton or soccer, organize a picnic, and watch birds and plants. During such a wonderful pastime, it is unlikely that anyone will act up, fight or throw tantrums. Family vacations will bring pleasure and give good emotions to everyone!
We also read:
- 10 reasons for poor child behavior
- Why does a child behave badly with his mother, and well with others?
- The child behaves badly: what to do?
- What should parents not do when a child behaves unbearably?
Mom’s school: What to do if a child behaves badly
I do not think that this problem can be dealt with in seven days, but to make a persistent start to changing the behavior of a child is quite real. It is important to show that all his vagaries have no meaning and only harm him.