Why children are rude: what to do to parents

Yesterday, the house was quiet and calm, but today the child began to be rude and rude to the closest people - parents. And then the question arises for adults: answer with strictness and repressive methods or continue to educate as before, ignoring his rudeness? Mom and Dad try different tactics, argue, accusing each other of educational mistakes. However, this does not correct the situation. What should parents do if their child is rude?

Childhood rudeness is a fairly common problem. The reasons for its occurrence are varied, and yet you can fully rehabilitate the little boor. The main thing in such a situation is to be patient and try to understand what made a gentle and obedient child to become an uncouth rude.

Causes of child rudeness

1. "A difficult age. Childhood rudeness can occur at any age, but is especially acute in the so-called age-related crises. A three-year-old kid learns to say “no” or “this is mine!” Only not always his desire for an independent life is permissible. The peak of rude behavior occurs in adolescence, when a child rebels against excessive, in his opinion, guardianship.
2. Need for attention. Conflicts between a teenager and parents - tantrums, disobedience, curses, demonstrative silence - can signal how much he needs your attention and care. You probably spend little time with him or do it for the sake of a “tick”. In this case, the child, throwing the terrible words “I hate you,” tries to arouse the interest of parents in their problems.
3. Personal example of parents. A child often adopts a model of boorish behavior from his parents. When he sees how adults roughly communicate with each other, curse, then very soon he himself will begin to unceremoniously get into their conversation, to be rude, not occasionally, but constantly.
4. Responsiveness. Children can be impolite for one simple reason - adults do not respect them as a person. If parents constantly shout at their offspring, raise a hand at him, call him name, there is nothing left for him but to be rude in return.
5. Connivance in education. A source of harshness in a child’s behavior can be indulging in his whims. He is used to getting whatever he wants after tears and a loud roar. And if children are used to snapping at parental requirements already in kindergarten or elementary school, then, becoming teenagers, they will behave even more defiantly. We read how to respond to the whims of the child.

We also read:10 reasons for poor child behavior

How to deal with rudeness

• Tell us about the consequences. Explain that rude behavior affects society’s attitude to the person. To be rude is to lose the good disposition of friends and relatives. Also, insults from others can leave an imprint on the reputation of the child, and if he values ​​a good name, you should definitely apologize.

The family must also have specific consequences for disrespect for adults. Regardless of the choice of disciplinary action, you should convey a simple thought: you must be responsible for rudeness.

• Do not follow requests made in a rude tone. Only warn your child in advance. Suppose your daughter imperiously demands (does not ask) to buy her a doll. Answer calmly without losing your temper: “I can, of course, buy a doll, but you are talking to me in a strange tone. If people want something good done for them, they say differently. Think, maybe you should ask in a good way? ”
• Do not respond rude to rudeness. Wanting to overcome rudeness, you can not raise your voice and respond with a cry to a cry. Maybe the child comes up with constructive criticism, although he chose not the best way to convey it. Let me know that you continue to talk with him when he calms down and stops being rude to you.
• Learn to say no. Behind abrupt behavior, the child hides the desire to manipulate mom and dad, who fulfill all his whims. Rudeness can become an effective tool in the hands of a small manipulator to achieve the goal. You need to be able to say “no” to your children in time. Give a sincere explanation for the refusal so that they understand: their desires are respected, but due to some circumstances they cannot fulfill. See article how to tell a child NO
• Set uniform rules for all family members. It is necessary to establish certain rules of conduct, and they should apply to all households. You say that the child should not be rude to parents and raise their voice? Then adults need to learn to control themselves, not to fall apart at each other and children.
• Pay more attention to the child. Analyze your attitude towards children. Perhaps their rudeness is due to the fact that they are trying to attract parental attention. Try to set aside an extra hour from your schedule to discuss with your son or daughter the events of the past day, play together or just sit side by side. Surely you will soon notice that he began to snap less.
• Learn to deal with emotions. This may sound strange, but try to teach your preschooler to get angry and offended “right” - without rude words and boorish expressions. It is still difficult for him to cope with his emotions, so he resorts to the easiest, but unstructured way. There are games to overcome child aggression.
• Communicate on an equal footing. Try to communicate with teens on an equal footing, as they are often annoyed by lisp and excessive manifestation of tenderness. They try in various ways to prove their own independence and independence. Try to talk with your child as an adult, and he will not switch to a rude tone to show his importance.

We also read:

• The child began to swear: why do children swear and how to wean them from it
• 8 loyal ways to punish children. How to punish a child for disobedience
• Why is the child oversleeping?

If you are faced with the rudeness of your own child, then do not rush to fall into despair. This problem can be solved, however, you should work not only with a little snapper, but also on yourself. When everything is fine in your family, the child has someone to consult with and talk to, then he will definitely stop being rude not only to close people, but to everyone else.