At a certain age, parents notice that the child seemed to be replaced: he becomes impulsive and uncontrollable. Usually this happens in the period from 2 to 4 years and is associated with the notorious crisis of three years of age. It is impossible to “clamp” and suppress strong negative emotions, which means they need to be given a way out. It is best for children to let off steam through games. How to get rid of child aggression through games will be discussed below.
The nature of childish aggressiveness
In some situations, it’s completely normal to show aggression even to small children. Nature has laid it so that when something threatens us, we defend ourselves. For example, giving back to a bully who picks up a toy in the sandbox or pushes is a normal defensive reaction. But sometimes aggressiveness becomes like a “chronic” state of a child. The child is not only defending himself, but also attacks himself, without any apparent reason. This suggests that something constantly presses on the child, he cannot relax and is constantly “on the platoon”.
For work with child aggression to bear fruit, you need to find out the cause of this condition.
1. "Weather in the house"
When parents constantly quarrel and scream, the child is sick. Young children are characterized by egocentrism, that is, a feeling of being "the center of the universe." Because of this, in the case of family quarrels, the child takes everything at his own expense, because he believes that the whole life of the family revolves around him. The following puzzle occurs in the baby’s head: “Since mom and dad are cursing, then I'm not good.”
2. Doubtful methods of education
When parents can not cope with their emotions and scream at the child (useful for moms: what to do if you constantly yell at your children)beat him, punished with silence and ignoring, the child goes out of balance - hence the aggression. Even such a method popular with parents as to frighten the baby with separation (“Now your uncle will take you to him” or “I’ve gone, and you stay here”) causes a violation of behavior, because it’s very scary for the child to be separated from the parent, and he’s constantly in tension .
3. Dysfunctional atmosphere in a kindergarten or school
Sometimes in children's groups there are tyrant children who keep the whole group or class in suspense, and the rest are constantly forced to “release spikes” in order to protect themselves. Unfortunately, aggressors are not only peers, but also teachers (educators, teachers). In order to maintain power over the children's team, they use threats and humiliate children.
5. The rejection and blocking of children's feelings and emotions
A little child is not only smiles and laughter, but also whims (see how to react to vagaries), screams, tears, resentment. If negative emotions and feelings are not accepted by parents, they accumulate and transform into aggression.Non-acceptance can be manifested in the form of a ban on feelings (“Boys do not cry”) or in the form of ridicule of feelings (“Dissolve the nurse, oh, how beautiful it is”).
6. High level of anxiety in a child
Often, the parents themselves drive the child into alarm, if they worry about him at every step and see danger everywhere (“You can’t fall on a swing, you will fall”, “Do not come near the dog, it will bite”). There are simply by nature very sensitive and impressionable children, whom everything scares. In both cases, the child begins to think that the world is hostile to him, and shows aggression as a defense against the surrounding dangers.
Manifestations of aggression in children
Aggressive behavior in a child can manifest itself in the following actions:
- fights;
- bites
- attempts to kick, beat parents;
- names and rude expressions;
- aggressive actions aimed at oneself (a child can scratch his hands and feet, bite himself, pull hair, bang his head);
- quarrels with peers due to the fact that the child never agrees to concessions;
- imitation of the negative heroes of fairy tales (Koshchei the Immortal, Baba Yaga), while the child ignores positive heroes.
Games - letting out steam
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Helping your child express aggression so that no one is hurt is best done through games. Psychologists identify special games in the process of which you can work out aggressive behavior, throw out emotions. These games are suitable for a whole group of children, and in order to play mom alone with her baby. It’s best to set aside a separate time for games and not limit it in any way. It is possible that at first the child will not be torn from some games.
Interesting: TOP 10 sports and sports entertainment for children from 0 to 5 years
1. "Names"
To play, you need a small ball. We get up with the child opposite each other and begin to throw the ball. For every throw, the thrower must name an opponent “Offensive” in a word. True, this word should be conditionally offensive: not rude curses, but ordinary words, for example: "Mom radish!" - “Vanya is a watermelon!” etc.
2. "Dust Beater"
A great game to give aggression a way out on a physical level. We take a soft pillow of medium size and ask the child to help knock the dust out of it. A child can do anything with a pillow: beat it with his hands, kick, throw, even scream.
3. “Let's fight?”
Arm yourself with your child with small pillows and arrange a battle. You can play music to create a fun atmosphere. Before the game, agree on the rules: you can only fight with pillows, you can’t call names. If someone opens his arms or says rudeness, the game stops. Strictly follow the rules.
4. "Shelling with snowballs"
Prepare “shells” with your child: crumpled paper can be used as snowballs. Throw themselves at each other with paper snowballs, not forgetting to hide in shelters and dodge the "shells" of the opponent. Children love this “war game” very much and are ready to play it for a very long time.
5. "Fireworks"
Prepare a pack of colored paper, which you will give to “tear” the child. The essence of the game is that the child first tears pieces of paper into pieces, and then throws the scraps up. The most important thing is to prepare more paper so that the child plays until interest runs out, and then you need to eliminate the consequences of the game from the floor together.
6. “We roll the ball”
We take a tennis ball and lay it on the surface so that it does not roll anywhere. The task of the child is to blow the ball so that it moves. In a more complex version, you can come up with different trajectories and try to force the ball to roll the ball along them. Deep exhalation, which is inevitable in such a game, very well relaxes all muscles and calms, so breathing exercises are very effective when working with aggression.
7. "Storm"
You can play this game while swimming, or you can simply draw water into a deep and wide container, imagine that it’s the sea, and offer your child a storm. The child must blow into the water so that waves are produced.
8. "Lord of the wind"
We sit opposite the child and declare him the lord of the wind.His task is to blow as hard as possible. Mom at this time plays along with the baby, portraying how it blows away, and struggles to resist the gusts of wind.
9. "Stubborn Donkey"
It is best for the baby to lie on something soft so as not to beat off his heels. So, the child is laid, for example, on the bed, raises his legs and lowers them with force, saying “no!”, “For nothing!”, “Never!” etc.
10. Home football
To play, you need a small pillow or rag ball (so that in case of something you do not break the chandelier). The child and mom (or dad) play football, after agreeing on what can be done in the game and what cannot be done. The point is to give the child plenty to kick, leave the ball.
We read more:Games that teach children kindness
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To understand which of the games are more effective for your child and interesting for him, you need to try all the options. When playing, do not focus on the fact that you are doing this to overcome aggression. Enjoy the process and give free rein to emotions - this is very important to achieve a good result.
We also read:
- Why are children rude?
- The child should not annoy!
- What should parents not do when a child behaves unbearably?
- 25 tips for raising a child in love and peace
- 10 tips to stop yelling at your children
- Top 10 Parent Mistakes in Parenting
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recently survived a divorce and the period that just preceded this greatly affected the child .. So we will try the games, we must somehow correct the situation.
If even the child is okay with nerves and there is no aggression, then anyway, I think it's worth using these games. it will contribute to the good upbringing of the child.
We are now considering these games with my daughter and they interested her, and even though she is my calm child, it will not be superfluous to accustom her to calm.
We take a tennis ball and lay it on the surface so that it does not roll anywhere. The task of the child is to blow the ball so that it moves. In a more complex version, you can come up with different trajectories and try to force the ball to roll the ball along them. Deep exhalation, which is inevitable in such a game, very well relaxes all muscles and calms, so breathing exercises are very effective when working with aggression.