5 alternatives to say NO to your child

In the process of raising children, very often parents have to refuse children to fulfill their requests, requirements and desires. But usually categorical "Not!" becomes the cause of children's tantrums, resentment, misunderstanding and anger. Children regard this as dislike of themselves, as a suppression of their freedom of choice, as a violation of their rights. The short but insulting word “no” does not explain to children why parents are against it, why they do not allow it. They do not understand the reasons for the refusal, which makes them rebel. And very often in response to "No!" we hear from our children that we are bad, that they do not love us and even hate us.

In order to avoid tantrums and obtain obedience from the child, it is necessary to explain why it is impossible, and try to do it in such a way that the word “no” is not in circulation. And, fortunately, the Russian language is so rich that it’s not difficult to pick up alternative expressions to the word “no” that will explain to the child the reason for such a decision by the parents and not offend his feelings. Simply, most parents are too lazy to find the right words to explain the reason. It’s much easier for them to say “No!”

1. Give your child an informative answer that will not contain the word “no”. For example, when a child asks if he can go to a playground with a classmate after school, do not rush to refuse immediately. Better explain that today he was asked a lot of homework and if he goes to play with friends, he simply will not have time to do everything. In this case, the child will understand that mom is not opposed to playing, but that he has a more important occupation.
2. Respect the feelings of the child. If the child does not want to go home and asks to stay for a short while, tell him that you yourself would like to stay here a little longer, but the time is approaching in the evening, and you need to get home before it gets dark. He will understand that the situation does not depend on you, you are in solidarity with his feelings, but you need to leave now.
3. Tell us about the problem. For example, you and your child are in the store, and there is only enough money for the most necessary. The kid starts asking to buy him a toy. Do not refuse, just say that today you only have money for groceries to prepare dinner, and next time you will definitely buy him what he asks for. The child will regard this as the consent of the parents to satisfy his requests, but not now, but a little later.
4. Try saying yes instead of no. It happens that you need to refuse, but you can agree. For example, a child is not full of his lunch and asks his friends outside. Tell him that he, of course, will go to play, but only after he finishes lunch.
5. Leave yourself time to think. Your child has come from school and announces that his friends are going on a picnic this weekend and asks you to let him go too. You should not tell him that at the previous picnic he caught a cold, and this time you will not let him go. Better tell me what you need to think about.A child who has not received a categorical refusal will be pleased that his mother will seriously weigh the pros and cons, and only then will give an answer.

We also read: how to tell the child "DO NOT"

Try not to refuse the child, look for suitable words that will help him understand and respectfully make your decision, whatever it may be. Frequent "No!" leads to the fact that the child from your ally turns into an adversary who will do everything against you. And remember that the child understands you, you should patiently explain to him, and not "chop off your shoulder."

We also read:

• How to refuse a capricious child? How to tell the child: “No”?
• How to tell a child “no” - 5 basic rules
• How to ban without banning
• What can and cannot be forbidden to a child
• To punish or not a child for accidental misconduct?

Komarovsky, how to say “no” to a naughty child: