“Mommy, Mommy, buy, buy, buy ..! Please! ”, Such words were heard many times by every mother. If we are talking, for example, about a candy or a bun, this is nothing, but when a child insistently asks for an expensive toy, the situation is completely different. How to refuse a son or daughter, how to say “no” to them? You must be hard to refuse your child. If the children feel your weakness, they will immediately take advantage of this to achieve their goal.
What the kids won’t come up with to achieve their goal is to begin with tears. Many parents give way to babies at this stage. If this does not help, the children use other methods - arrange the real tantrumstomp their feet, fall to the floor and scream.
Is it possible to avoid such behavior of children who have been refused? How to learn to say no to children? You need to adopt a few rules, they will certainly help in raising your children. If you begin to put them into practice, the child will gradually learn to calmly accept your failures. Consider these simple rules.
5 rules that help you learn to say no to your children
When you need to refuse a child his request, it is important that your “no” be reasoned. If the reason for the refusal is not clear to the son or daughter, there is a chance that you will have to give in.
1. Think through arguments and be firm
In order for children to take the rejection seriously, you should give a few arguments why you say no. You yourself must be convinced of your decision to refuse, otherwise, having felt the indecision in your voice, the child will increase pressure. Remember, you cannot change your position to the opposite. If it says no, stand your ground - you already have no right to say yes. If you break this rule once, the child next time will not take the refusal seriously.
2. “No” - a word with a special meaning
The word “no” should have a special meaning and value in your family. Hearing it from parents, the child must understand - this is not discussed, further attempts to prove something, ask or argue are useless. In order for the parental “no” to acquire such a significance for the child, efforts must be constantly made. To begin with, stop saying it too often, pronounce it in exceptional cases.
Having decided to deny children something, think about whether it is possible to do without a ban? If you constantly prohibit, say no in almost all situations, then this word will soon cease to be valid. Children simply will not accept your failures. Try to do without them as often as possible. Indeed, instead of a ban, it is sometimes enough to warn a child.For example, if a kid picked up scissors in order to cut something out of paper, you can say: “You can cut out the figures, but be careful, the scissors are sharp, it’s easy to get hurt.” Try to analyze yourself - count how many times a day you could do without prohibitions?
We also read: 5 alternatives to say NO to your child
3. In the family, everyone has a consensus
Your refusal to the child should not be canceled by anyone. If you did not allow your son or daughter to take some thing or refused to purchase, it will be correct if other family members do the same. Consider this situation - the child asked dad to buy a new car, but his father refused. After that, the baby goes to his grandmother or mother in the hope of getting what they want from them.
In this case, relatives should support the father, even if they do not consider the refusal justified. The main thing here is to maintain a unified position that "no" means "no." If mother and grandmother agree with the child, then problems will begin in the upbringing. Dad in the eyes of a son or daughter will become bad, and mom will be good.
We also read: A friendly family will turn the mountain, or how to overcome differences in parenting
4. Do not argue the refusal to purchase high cost
If you refuse to buy a new toy for which there is no money now, you should not explain to him that it is very expensive. Young children will not understand this; they do not have such concepts as expensive and cheap. Better just say “no” or try to find another explanation why you will not buy a toy.
5. Make arrangements with children and avoid provocations
Even with babies, you can almost always find a way to negotiate, and sometimes it is much easier to do than refuse. If the baby asked to buy him an expensive toy, but you don’t have the necessary amount of money, try to negotiate with him about buying it later. Why not say this: “Son, I have already spent almost all the money we took with us. Let's ask Grandfather Frost to give you this constructor for the New Year. In the meantime, we can buy you this car. ” In most cases, the child will agree, and you will not have to figure out what gift to prepare for the New Year.
Parents often themselves create situations that provoke the child, and in fact many failures could be avoided. If you do not allow something for children, for example, to eat a lot of sweets, just hide them away, where the child will not see them. Try not to go to the toy store with your children, so as not to provoke them. In doing so, you will not often have to deny the child his requests.
We also read: How to refuse a capricious child? How to tell the child: “No”?
My son is only 1.4 years old, but he knows the word “no” clearly. It makes no sense to argue, because it still pretends not to hear a refusal. At first, I rolled up tantrums.Now, if he hears “no,” he strictly fulfills it.
We somehow had no big problems with this. When I started crying to buy some kind of toy, I just talked calmly with him. Like now we will not buy it, but as soon as we receive the money, we will definitely take it. I tried never to deceive him, so he calmly agreed. Although then I heard every day - Mom, but did you get the money? In general, he is not very demanding here, because he did not pamper much.