What words do you often say to your child - “can” or “not”? Both are extremely important for young children: “you can” instills faith in your own abilities and builds confidence in the world around you, and “you can not” sets the limits for what is allowed and gives a sense of security. Let's talk about when it is really necessary to establish strict prohibitions, and when you can allow the baby to do what he wants.
10 things that should not be forbidden to children
Of course, raising children does not do without a moderate number of prohibitions necessary for physical and emotional security. However, psychologists say that ten things can be distinguished that should not be prohibited to the baby.
- Dress, eat and drink on your own
Of course, you will do it better, better and faster than a child, but you are unlikely to help his development. Children’s specialists generally consider independent button fastening and pulling on gloves to be one of the best exercises for improving finger motility, and therefore for brain development.
Allocate more time for training so that the child can have breakfast or dress himself - at his own pace, without rushing and without fussing. Of course, if you are afraid of being late, you can say: “I’m sure you can handle the clothes yourself, but we need to hurry. Let me help you now, and in the evening you can put on your pajamas. ” And the ability to use a spoon or a mug will come in handy in kindergarten, unless you want to stuff lunch before school in the “dumbass” you raised.
- To help parents
How often can one hear from indignant mothers: “My son doesn’t want to do anything at home!” But for some reason they forget how several years earlier they protected him and expensive objects from interaction: “Don’t touch, or you will break it!”, “Put it in place, you will break!” Adults fear that they will have to redo the baby, but he needs to feel his own importance and need and hear parental approval. Ask (do not demand) the child to help you with household chores, allow simple tasks and do not forget to thank you for the work done.
- To be active
When the baby is noisy, running, jumping and fooling around, he actually physically develops and relaxes, splashing out the accumulated energy. Of course, such behavior is not welcome in public places (clinic, shop), but at home you can allow him to stay as he is. Maybe you should join in and fool around with him?
Some mothers forbid children to climb horizontal bars, preferring quiet fuss in the sandbox. Yes, it’s easier for them to ban than to show how to climb and get down, to control their body. Allow active exercises, insuring if necessary.
- Sleep with the light
Fear of the dark is a natural fear for children four to five years old, who at this age are psychologically separated from their mother.The payment for such autonomy is the occurrence of nightmares in a child in which reality is closely intertwined with fiction and fantasy. A dim night light will calm the baby when he wakes up and help make sure that there are no scary monsters around. True, there is an opinion that light disturbs the natural course of sleep, so introduce lighting as a temporary measure.
- Get dirty
Do not be afraid that the child will get dirty by picking up a paint brush or felt-tip pens. Get special non-toxic paints, spread oilcloth on the floor or table, equip your baby with an apron - let him draw.
Allow also research activities on walks. Let the child tumble in the grass, measure the depth of the puddle, toss up the arms of autumn leaves without worrying about the dirty clothes. In the end, you probably have a washing machine.
- Explore items
Let the children understand the purpose and structure of a wide variety of subjects. You will be surprised, but many specialists in child development recommend telling the baby: “Touch things. Squeeze, shift from one hand to another, pull, open, knock, mni and rip! ” An exclusive toy is sometimes less attractive to a child than a stack of old newspapers or a box with buttons. If you are afraid for expensive dishes or a valuable trinket, keep it away from tenacious and inquisitive handles. Or try to consider it together, explaining why this thing is so dear to you and that it is better to find another item for games.
- To watch cartoons
Yes, we have already said that the quality of modern cartoons sometimes does not stand up to criticism, and developing programs are not as useful as is commonly believed. However, it is important for today's children to keep abreast of popular cartoons in order to discuss them with peers. Choose the programs and animations that you find useful. Be sure to watch them with your baby, discuss controversial issues and give examples of acceptable behavior.
- Leave food on a plate
Do not force the child to leave clean plates on the table. Eating should be a pleasure, not medieval torture. Firstly, you can always argue about the portion size and the number of dishes. And nutritionists are concerned about the rapidly growing number of small fat people. Secondly, do not distract children with cartoons, cramming as many spoons of healthy cereal as possible with cunning. The real benefit will appear when the child feels the taste of food, begins to chew slowly, will consider lunch a pleasant ritual.
- Fantasize
Fiction is a natural interweaving of fantasy and reality for children. Help your child distinguish fantasy from intentional deception. Tell that his story is very similar to a fairy tale, ask him to come up with something else like that. Try to show genuine interest in his fantasies, thereby encouraging the development of a creative personality.
- Express a personal opinion
Try to take into account children's interests, desires and opinions. Argument your decisions without waving off the phrases “Because I decided so!” or "Dad and I know better how to do it!" Do not try to also paint his time in minutes. Perhaps he just wants to come up with his own game, and not just sit in the corner, not doing anything.
We also read: How to ban a child without banning
5 things to be sure to ban
Nevertheless, the word "must not" should not completely disappear from your educational dictionary. However, it should be prohibited only in the most exceptional cases regarding child safety. And your ban should imply its absolute implementation. Let's find out what you should definitely ban your child.
- Beat others
Sometimes babies still do not know how to express their own emotions in words, applying blows and bites to parents, peers and pets. Do not allow to start a fight with children, stop the child if he hits you or mistreats an unfortunate kitten.Stop the baby’s hand, say, looking into his eyes: “You can’t fight and beat others.”
- Take someone else's
Explain to children that you cannot dispose of things that do not belong to them. It is unacceptable to take away someone else’s toys, spoil someone else’s clothes, pick up unpaid goods from the store, etc. If the kid brought not his toy from the kindergarten, firmly ask her to return it back.
- To be rude
Introduce the children to polite words, the concept of morality and the rules of decency. By a personal example, show that you need to say hello, apologize, thank, but you can’t swear, spit, or be rude to your elders.
- Violate "safety precautions"
Learn the rules of safe behavior for kids with pictures or cartoons. It is very accessible and clearly described that it is strictly forbidden to play on the road, stick fingers in sockets, climb on the windowsill and indulge in matches. These are categorical, absolute prohibitions!
- Talk to strangers
Do not bully the baby, but be sure to discuss this “impossible” in detail. Designate the so-called “circle of trust”, which include your friends, housemates, parents in kindergarten. Play situations: for example, what should you do if a stranger uncle calls to see a kitten?
Too many restrictions are the main reason why a child stops responding to parental words. If there are too many of them, then you risk raising a “comfortable” baby. Set categorical prohibitions, coordinate them with all household members and do not be afraid to change them when the child grows up.
We also read:
What a reasonable article! Especially about food suppression. Indeed, you cannot forbid the child not to eat up what you put to him (often parents put not what the child wants, but at their own discretion), do not want to eat at all (well, does it happen that adults are not hungry for lunch? What makes the child worse?) Or on the contrary, take something and have a snack between meals. Only if the child will be responsible for his satiety, he learns the useful eating habits - do not overeat, do not starve, there is what the body needs.