When a child appears in the family, the life of young parents changes dramatically. And at the same time, the behavior of a woman who has received a new status for herself is changing. Now she is not just a wife, she is a mother. She has new sensations, new habits and new troubles in which husbands, at times, are so hard to understand. But this must be done without fail, because there is no turning back. To make it easier for the young father to understand his “improved” wife after giving birth, we have prepared a list of the most basic changes that occur with women when they become mothers. So let's go!
1. Your wife feels ugly
Men can never understand what contradictory feelings in relation to their own body overcome his wife after childbirth. Meanwhile, the vast majority of newly minted mothers are plagued by this problem. Of course, they understand that their body is incredible and has just produced a tiny miracle, but this does not mean at all that they are ready to put up with the excess weight that has appeared and stretch marks on the stomach.
We know this is difficult.
What to do in this situation to the husband? The answer to this question is obvious - to tirelessly admire, praise and do not forget to give sincere compliments to your wife. Only with the active support of her husband can a woman cope with complexes arising from dissatisfaction with her appearance. Help your wife feel beautiful and desirable again. If the thought of extra pounds does not rest her, do everything possible to convince her that soon everything will return to normal. Do not forget to remind your wife that it was her body that gave both of you the best gift in the world!
2. Your wife is obsessed with a child
Together with your wife, you only learn to cope with all the difficulties that appeared in your life after the birth of a child. And there is nothing surprising in the fact that at first the young mother is not for a second distracted from her new role. The child takes all her attention, she does not sleep at night, skips meals, practically does not pay attention to her husband. Sometimes it even begins to seem that she is simply obsessed with her motherhood.
The main thing is not to panic! This is a natural state; your wife just has not yet learned to control her maternal instinct. A little time will pass, and she will get used to her new status.And, as a result, will learn to cope with their emotions and properly distribute their love and attention.
3. Your wife believes that she is a bad mother, she is afraid
This fear haunts most women who first experienced all the delights of motherhood. Your wife has been preparing for this moment for a long time, and the birth of a child has become a kind of exam for her. She knows the theory very well, but is afraid to start practicing. All the time it seems to her that she can do something wrong, and numerous advisers, in the person of more experienced friends and parents, only add fuel to the fire with her advice and recommendations. This, of course, is good, but sometimes the bowl overflows over the edges. She is scared and stressed. At some point, the young mother cannot stand it, and a real “explosion” occurs. She can get angry, cry, give up and say that she will never become a good mother for your child.
The best thing a husband can do at this moment is to instill confidence in his wife that she is the most beautiful mother in the world. She is trying hard, and she needs your support like air. Try to calm her down, explain that experience always comes with errors. Love and understanding is the best sedative for any newly minted mother. The only thing that matters is that you go through everything together and you could not even dream of a better mother for your child. Strong hugs and gentle words can brighten up the most insane and difficult day in the life of a young mother.
4. Your wife reacts sharply to other people's advice
Young mothers are constantly bombarded with advice for everyone who is not too lazy: relatives, friends, neighbors on the landing. Imagine what your wife has to listen to every day: and she feeds wrong, and her child is developing too slowly, and less sleep is already laid at his age. And the mother believes that it is time for her to leave the decree, and her friend with five children imposes a bunch of tips, because "she is experienced." Well, and where without a mother-in-law, of course ... It is not surprising that your wife at some point gets tired of all this and becomes like a warlike hedgehog with released needles. As the saying goes, the best defense is an attack. But too sharply she reacts to everything.
The best advice for men in this situation is not to interfere. You can talk about it with your wife, try to explain that all these advisers just want to help and do not need to react so sharply. But this conversation should be started only when she is completely calm.
5. Your wife cannot be angry with a child, she tears anger at you
The first year in a child’s life is the most difficult. Lack of sleep and stress are constant companions of young mothers. They can unbalance anyone, and your wife is no exception. She often gets angry, and sometimes she needs to let off steam. But after all she cannot break down on the child. This is a baby, what can you do.
At such moments, the whole family takes the brunt. Men, you are a lightning rod. And there's nothing to be done about it. The only advice in this situation is to wait. The main thing to remember is it will pass. With time.
6. Your wife has nothing to wear
The most urgent problem after childbirth. A young mother can no longer wear clothes for pregnant women, she is so tired of dressing in these clothes, which are often not very fashionable and beautiful. But she still does not fit into her old clothes. She does not want to buy new things, because she strives with all her soul to regain former forms. And as a result, your wife faces an eternal female problem - there is nothing to wear.
What can not be done is to persuade her to update her wardrobe - your wife may think that you doubt her, do not believe that she is able to lose weight. It is best to just turn her attention at such moments and remind her of how beautiful and caring mom she is.
7. Your wife needs increased attention
A woman always wants her man to give her enough attention.And after the birth of the baby, your wife needs even more attention and care.
Any woman always sees her as a defender in a man, and this feeling gains special significance when she becomes a mother. Right now, she needs to feel a reliable male shoulder next to her and be sure that in any situation you will always be there. For example, if you have guests, and your wife wants peace and quiet, then your main task is to inform them of this.
8. Your wife needs a vacation
Many young mothers naively believe that with the birth of a child a super ability awakens in them - to do everything everywhere. Probably, those other mothers with capricious children and uncleaned apartments have something wrong. But motherhood quickly squeezes out all the juices. And even worse, not many can admit it. They take on an unbearable burden, and after a while they simply burn out. And not all women are able to admit that they are not coping with their duties. They will not ask for help and will hide their “failure” until the very end.
The best thing you can do for your wife is to send her a rest. Let her soak in the bathroom, watch TV or just sleep. If your wife will argue and resist, try to convince her that her body needs not only work, but also rest. And remind you that you are simply trying to protect her from yourself.
9. Your wife needs you to ask, or she needs something
Just ask your wife what she wants at the moment. Believe me, she will appreciate.
10. Your wife loves you
If earlier your wife loved you exclusively as a man, then after giving birth she will love you as the father of her child. She likes to see dad in you. She likes to listen to your words that this baby changes you like that. She will be happy to watch you play with the baby. She loves the fact that the baby has your noses, eyebrows and ears. She is very pleased to hear how you proudly talk about your child.
Maybe this seems illogical, but the closer you are to the child, the closer to her. Being the only viewer on a film where you play the main, daddy role is priceless.
