Being a good mother is not difficult. But what about grandmothers? After all, no one writes books on how to become the favorite of their grandchildren. Everywhere only advice for moms. And who will teach the older generation? To start, remember 15 stop phrases that you should never say:
“I'm older, so I know better”
Believe me, with these words you are more likely to irritate your children and grandchildren, but not respect! Of course, a huge life experience can sometimes come in handy. But pronouncing this phrase, you literally humiliate a person, as if hiding her second meaning: “You have not grown yet!”.
“This hasn’t happened in our time”
If you are about to teach your children and give them valuable guidance, then reason objectively. Your days are long gone, there is no reason to rely on them or transfer past charters to the modern world. A planet can change dramatically in a year or two, let alone decades! Throw out of your head everything that has long lost its relevance.
“You do not protect my heart”
No need to achieve your goals using such low manipulative techniques. Because in the end, this will bother your relatives and they will cease to take any of your complaints seriously. Remember the tale of a boy who screamed about a wolf? That's just the same!
“Who dresses children like that?”
Or "Is it possible to carry this on the street?" We understand that you are from the best of intentions! But since your grandchildren, the parents decided to wear it that way, then this must be accepted. In the end, this is not your child, any grandmother has much less rights in raising children than their own mother. And yes: maybe you are just a little behind modern fashion?
“And I think that ...”
Grandmothers always love to prove their case. And they do it with special zeal, eventually silently resentful. A sense of tact should tell you that you should share your opinion in those cases when they are interested. Or at least declare it politely. But you can’t enter into a heated polemic by crushing your authority.
“What will eventually grow out of a child”
Any grandmother passionately adores her grandchildren. And worried about their distant future. But uttering such a phrase, you offend both grandchildren and their parents in the most direct context. After all, it sounds as if you seriously think that they can’t cope with the upbringing, or they cope badly. What kind of mother or father would like it?
“He needs strict discipline.”
Discipline is a very subtle matter. There is no need to be afraid that the grandson will grow up to be sissy if the parents communicate with him kindly, and at the same time he understands everything.
“I do not insist, but ...”
Another ingenious phrase from the arsenal of manipulator grandmothers. On the one hand, you kind of immediately inform a person that you just want to share innocent advice, and on the other hand, you poke him in the face right there, and even at any moment threatening to become an offended and misunderstood party.Let your loved ones decide what to do, especially if it concerns their own child.
“Of course I'm not the best grandmother”
Uh, uh! Stop. No need to extort recognition of their exclusivity. And stop jealous of another grandmother. Do not drive wedges into relationships. If you two grandmothers, then you live with this.
“I have not seen you for three weeks”
So what? The more you complain, the more it sounds like harassment. Surprise! Your children and grandchildren have their own lives: work, study, friends. Do not overtighten the blanket of attention exclusively to yourself. No one has ever loved anyone under duress.
“You are a straightforward father”
Or mother. Or a sister, a second cousin's niece - it doesn’t matter. You can not use a comparison with a failed (in your opinion) relative. Any comparisons in a negative way should be excluded.
“Are you sure it's safe?”
Actually, yes. Most parents take care of their children. And if their child climbs the horizontal bars like a monkey, they probably thought what to allow. How to become a good grandmother nowadays.
“The neighbor’s son has already gone at five months old”
It is great if other people's children are ahead of the pace of development. But you do not need to transfer this to your own grandchildren. All children are individual and develop in different ways. And yes, such statements will affect any mother!
“Why are you feeding him?”
Sorry, but do you really work in the Ministry of Health? Or at least read their current nutritional recommendations? Are you aware that no one gives cow milk to children under one year old? Then how can you know what is impossible?
“I live only for you”
Do not live exclusively for someone, this is a veiled accusation. Try living for yourself. And to communicate with the younger ones only when it is truly a joy to you and to them. Young star grandmothers
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