The role of grandparents in raising children

Content

When we talk about the educational process, we mention, first of all, parents. However, do not underestimate the role of the older generation in raising a child. Moreover, this influence is both positive and negative. How do grandparents affect a child?

For many young mothers and fathers, the help of their parents becomes a real gift of fate. The experience of the older generation helps to cope with unknown situations in the upbringing of the baby, and the word "granny" can rightfully be considered a synonym for the words "tenderness" and "love."

However, sometimes grandmother's care leads to negative results. Overly condescending or, on the contrary, “draconian” educational methods become a source of numerous quarrels and scandals between native people.

The positive effect of grandparents on the child

First of all, it is necessary to talk about the support provided by older relatives in caring for the baby. Parents often work all day, and after work and on weekends they try to go to cafes, cinema or meet friends. At this time, it is often grandparents who sit with their grandchildren.
Newly-made parents are often afraid to make responsible decisions that relate to care and looking after the firstborn. And then experienced grandmothers come to the rescue, who are confident in their abilities and know what to do with young children.
The adult generation will have time to help with lessons, play with children, expand their horizons, reading books, telling real life stories.
Sometimes one gets the feeling that an “mystical” connection is being established between older people and the child - fairy tales from the lips of grandfathers or grandmothers seem more interesting than the same ones that parents read.
Communication with relatives expands the social contacts of children, thanks to this they will be able to gain direct experience in interacting with adults, and not just with peers.

Negative influence of the older generation

Many grandparents pamper their grandchildren, allow them what they do not allow in the family. For example, beloved grandmothers do not restrict the viewing of cartoons and allow you to skip daytime sleep. Some even try to negotiate with their grandchildren so that they are silent before their parents about these liberties. It is not surprising that after such an intervention, children try to bargain the same privileges from their mother, letting whims, tears and tantrums go.
Some grandmothers, by contrast, adhere to an authoritarian style of interacting with a child. Their motto is: “Children need to be raised while they still fit across the bench”. Needless to say, after such communication, the baby strongly resistes meeting with close relatives.
Sometimes grandparents try to protect their grandson from literally everything. He constantly hears: “Do not run - you will fall”, “Do not raise the stick - you will get dirty”. Psychologists say that such a "greenhouse" education can develop into fears, and then into insecurity and inertia.

Rules for Parents

If you notice that after visiting your grandparents the child’s behavior changes dramatically, a serious conversation is needed. However, remember that pampering children often stems from sincere love.

Try to clearly define the boundaries of the influence of your parents on the child. It is you who are responsible for his upbringing, and grandparents are the main, but still helpers.
Discuss all the contradictions and differences in the development of the baby. But do not do this in his presence, so as not to reduce the authority of adults. By the way, some children, looking at quarrels, quickly figure out how to play on contradictions. So there is a risk of getting a little manipulator.
Do not forget that your attitude to the older generation depends on how older children will relate to you in the future. Therefore, even if you have a negative attitude towards grandparents, do not demonstrate this at least at the little one.

We also read: How not to spoil a child with a grandmother?

Rules for Grandparents

Try not to tell the children that they are not raising your grandchildren in the same way (even if you think so). Take the side of your daughter or son and help realize their educational plans. Remember that they wish their children (and therefore your grandchildren) only good.
Tell the younger generation about their child, his needs and possible problems, but do not blame! Your task is to agree on how to correct the defects of the child and satisfy his needs.
Do not “buy” the attention and love of babies with numerous gifts. If you want to make an expensive present (phone, laptop) to your grandson, do not forget to consult his mom and dad.
Avoid conflicts, because you have a wealth of life experience - something that your children do not yet have. So, you are more experienced in relationships with people and you can either give in or turn the conversation so that they agree with you.

Perhaps, each family has its own difficulties and omissions that are associated with the influence of grandparents on the child. The degree of glow depends on many circumstances: joint or separate living, the social maturity of the family and the period of its life. Psychologists are sure that the first years are the most serious, since mutual adaptation occurs. Also, a big role is played by those whose parents are moms or dads.

For both generations, the ideal model of interaction is close relationships at a certain distance. That is, a young family with a child lives in a separate apartment, but often visits their parents and uses their services. For their part, young people help the “old people” to experience loneliness more comfortably.

Of course, the family is the personal territory of the parents on which their rules apply. And only mom and dad are responsible for raising a child. However, one should not forget that the role of grandparents in the educational process is difficult to overestimate. And if they do not seek to replace their parents, but, on the contrary, support and do not criticize them, communication with the older generation becomes a real holiday for the child.

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Difficult condition

This program will be useful to both parents and grandparents, answer difficult questions and positively affect family relationships in a large family, bringing mutual understanding, respect and the right attitude to their family status. The theme of our program is “The Role of Grandparents in the Education of Grandchildren”.

“Grandmother's” upbringing

What is the role of grandparents in raising a child? Is it good or bad when grandchildren spend more time with them than with mom and dad? Comment of a psychologist.

Anfisa 10/31/2015 at 16:36

My mother helped me a lot with the child, I could completely rely on her and trust her. Therefore, if there were moments that I did not like, I tried to avoid them and not to draw attention. It’s just that I often talked with the child himself and explained to him that the liberties that are permissible for my grandmother do not always fit into our daily routine. And the child gradually figured out where and who has the weakness and how to behave with her grandmother and at home with her mother.
Victor Umanov 10/31/2015 at 16:39

Interesting article. I had just such grandmothers. One indulged and lisped, and the other (she was half German) forced to walk along the string. Well, you know, getting up, sleeping, eating, everything is on schedule, there are no snacks there, adults first eat, then children. How infuriated me then! Yes, and now I think that she still went too far. But, looking back, I understand that for a developing personality of a child, a strict grandmother is better than one that allows everything. We both learned the multiplication table over the summer, and I got some kind of concept about work on the housework. There was nothing like that with another grandmother.
Irina 11/01/2015 at 18:18

I had only one grandmother and I owe a lot to her. A smart woman, although she loved me, allowed a lot. But at times it was very harsh, I did not even recognize her. In my opinion, after all, it’s useful for a child when grandparents are nearby. And the nuances of their communication should be agreed among themselves by adults.