Maternity leave is not the easiest time for a woman. Some mothers have to give up their careers for a while or even permanently. Others are at home by coincidence - perhaps they simply have no choice. And, of course, there are lucky ones who sit at home, because they are completely satisfied with this.
The main thing is that the reason why they do not work is not a reason for discussion!
In order not to seem tactless and avoid awkward moments, we suggest paying attention to phrases that are best avoided when dealing with mothers on maternity leave.
- “Aren't you worried that a decree could be a step backward in your career?” First, agree, the comment is pretty rude. It is unlikely that you would ask such a question to a person who took a year off to start writing a novel. And even if asked, then not in such a condescending tone. Some mothers on maternity leave are really worried about the consequences of forced leave for their careers, and in this case it’s not worth it to pour salt into the wound again, while others take it calmly. In any case, it does not concern you.
- “What are you doing all day?” It would be great if everyone could answer: “Oh, nothing special, everything is as usual: shopping, manicure, a gym” 🙂 Believe me, mom often doesn’t even have a free minute on her maternity ... A baby takes a lot of time, and nobody does homework not canceled.
- “So your husband fully provides you?” To be interested in the state of other people's financial affairs is the height of tactlessness. Also avoid phrases like: “Do you have to ask your husband for money before every purchase?” Get rid of them forever so as not to put yourself and your interlocutor in an awkward position.
- “I would also like to sleep as much as I like every day.” Do you know who else would dream to get enough sleep at least sometimes? All parents are babies, and mothers on maternity leave - especially! Colic, teeth, transient regimen - all this is familiar to almost every woman with children.
- “It must be cool to watch TV and do it all day.” This is a strange but very common idea of maternity leave as a summer vacation. Believe me, it is far from the truth
- “Are you planning to go to work again?” It is better not to ask this question, unless you intend to provide his addressee with a workplace. Perhaps he plans, but maybe not. If you do not have to pay her expenses for mom, then let the person decide for himself.
- “Could you (pick up the parcel, meet the courier, take a walk with the dog ...) today for me? You don’t work anyway .. ” Moms on maternity leave no time to run errands. They are engaged in much more important and responsible work.
- “I wish I had so much free time too.” Many parents, regardless of whether they work or not, have absolutely no free time. It is very difficult to organize your day in such a way that everything is in time with a small child in her arms.
When talking with mom on maternity leave, do not forget how vulnerable she is now and how much she needs support. If your goal is not to offend her, just do not say rash phrases, and then from the communication you both will have only positive impressions.
We also read:
Well, these phrases can scare them. When the daughter was born, all thoughts were only about her and there were no other thoughts. All these thoughts smack of egoism, and when there is a child you belong only to him.
Well, firstly, if someone wants to say something like that on maternity leave, you won’t be able to stop him, but you must respond sensibly and adequately. Indeed, in any case, maternity leave is a temporary period, and if there is a goal to build a career, then there will still be time for it, but while the child is work for the time of maternity leave, and there are a lot of stupid people, you cannot close your mouths.
Here I am always annoyed by the comments that I, being at home on maternity leave, relax and do nothing, while others are at work. Well, yes, children are a vacation, I want to say, and I relax at home, and the dishes are washed, everything is washed, cleaned, prepared and at the same time the child feeds himself and changes the diaper. For me, happiness comes when everyone went to bed and I can calmly sit and drink tea. This usually happens only at night.
First of all, in any communication, including with moms on maternity leave, you need to be tactful and elementary delicacy. And just do not poke your nose where you should not. Then unpleasant situations in communication will not arise. In addition to the examples listed in the article, you should not touch on questions about the next child, for example: “Are you planning to have a second child? When?" or advice on the topic that you don’t need to delay it, or, conversely, it’s better to wait. Since such questions will cause at least awkwardness or bewilderment.