The appearance of a child is certainly an exciting and joyful event. Every woman with awe awaits the birth of a baby, but, often, she is more afraid of the decree than the birth itself. A new member of the family is not only a cute baby whom you love so madly, but also a lot of worries and problems. The fear of maternity leave is fueled by friends and acquaintances who vividly talk about how they go crazy and are depressed, sitting with the baby at home.
Of course, your life will change a lot, because decree is not a simple vacation without rush and anxiety. Nevertheless, many of the fears of modern women are not worth it to spend their time and energy on them. Let’s figure out what fears maternal expectation of future mothers have, how to avoid them and tune in a positive way.
1. I do not know how, fail
None of us is born with a huge baggage of knowledge about children, caring for them, their health and proper development. All children are different, from the first days of life they already have their own character, and no matter how you try to study the mountains of educational literature in advance, it is impossible to predict everything that awaits you with the baby. Even if you are the most zealous perfectionist, in your new life in the status of a mother there will inevitably be mistakes and mistakes. Children are unpredictable.
No need to set unbearable tasks for yourself, do not try to become a guru in the field of child psychology and pediatrics. Reading special literature, talking with a pediatrician in advance is the right move, the main thing is not to make it your mania. Everything will come to you with experience, there will certainly be people nearby who are ready to help with advice and deed. Feel free to ask, learn about caring for the baby, avoid the negative influence of people who impose their vision of motherhood on you, negatively relate to maternity leave.
Related article: The most important newborn care tips. The best memo article for moms and dads
2. Afflictions with a partner
Many expectant mothers fear that their life will no longer have a place for romance, passion, and relationships will change for the worse. Of course, the appearance of a child in the family is a kind of test of a couple's strength. Fatigue, lack of sleep, "Groundhog Day", a lack of attention to each other can result in discontent and quarrels. It is important to try to prevent a break in relations, to treat your partner with understanding, and not to shoulder the entire burden of responsibility.
Try whenever possible to spend time with your man, arrange romantic dinners, allow yourself going to the movies, theater, restaurant. Nobody canceled loving grandparents, if you have real helpers who are happy to sit with your baby, do not give up on this.
The monotony of life and the repeatability of days cannot be avoided, that is how care for the child is arranged, try to diversify walks, your activities with the crumbs as much as possible, go shopping together. Avoid Depression, because she is one of the first causes of problems in relationships.
A frequent disturbing thought for young mothers is the belief that the figure after the birth of the baby will certainly deteriorate, that the woman herself will look bad and will not have time to take care of herself. And the beloved man will fall out of love and find another.
In fact, even if you gain extra pounds, no one will stop you from getting rid of them. The bulk gained during pregnancy is the weight of the baby, amniotic fluid, placenta, etc. After giving birth, you will lose many kilograms, and you can remove the remaining surplus with the help of simple sports and daily hiking. Nobody will condemn your desire to become the owner of an ideal figure. You will be able to allocate time for yourself during the period of the baby’s sleep, while the father or relatives are sitting with him. Coping with excessive anxiety, you will not overeat. Skin care procedures do not take too much time, you can generally perform them while feeding the baby, or preparing dinner.
Believe me, if your man really loves you, then this feeling remains with him when you are in evening dress, and when in home clothes.
3. Career will end
Even very smart and successful women are not devoid of disturbing thoughts, such as, “I’ll numb in the decree”, “in a couple of years everything will change in the company, I will not be needed.” Zealous careerists are afraid of exchanging a convenient office for diapers and vests, fearing to miss all the opportunities to grow up the career ladder.
In fact, women after the decree are also in demand as candidates, like all others. A normal employer always has priority in the knowledge, experience and professionalism of the employee, and not stereotypes about eternal hospital young mothers.
In order not to feel your professional unsuitability, you should improve on maternity leave. You can learn a language, learn new skills, develop and learn in your profession. Try to draw, do something with your own hands, write, take pictures, discover new things in yourself.
You drop out of your usual life for several years, but at the same time, plunge into another, make it also saturated.
We also read: Maternity earnings on maternity leave
4. Friends will be lost
The feeling in the decree that you have become uninteresting to your friends and acquaintances appears very often. If you are afraid that your social circle will change, do not think that this is bad. You will learn to value time, and will give it to really important and pleasant people.
In addition, true friends stay with you under any circumstances. And those who disappear from your life as soon as you become a mother may have always been just acquaintances. Some people come out of your circle of communication, others come, making their valuable contribution. With the advent of new responsibilities and a new lifestyle, people will appear who share your interests and are in the same situation as you.
Be interesting to people, do not focus only on motherhood, develop, learn new things.
5. Financial dependence
Monetary dependence on men frightens women with an active lifestyle, self-sufficient, self-confident. “How will I beg for money for a new dress if I myself do not earn a dime”, “What if my husband counts how much and what I spend” - future mothers are puzzled. At the same time, in most cases, a man thinks in a completely different way, by nature his earner, he is ready to provide for his family.
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Discuss the financial component of your family in advance. Plan the budget together, because the time of the decree is indeed more difficult in terms of money. When the baby is older, you can try earn money at home depending on your professional skills.
Even if the money brought by a man is enough, you can work remotely for yourself, replenishing your knowledge and earning for small needs.
It’s good if, even at the stage of pregnancy planning, you and your partner will discuss financial possibilities, understand and accept his position (5 things to think about before planning a child).
When life changes dramatically, any person may experience a sense of impasse. Everyone has the vital energy and resources to support themselves and others, to change the situation for the better, it is important to want and strive to change and change.
Believe me, the birth and upbringing of your baby, a particle of yourself, unlimited happiness to be with the baby is worth all the worries and difficulties. Approach your life calmly and with optimism.
We also read:
- Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave
- 5 fears of a mother of two children: get sick, fall, do not breathe ... # Mommy stories
- What is important for husbands to remember about wives on maternity leave?
“Life on a Decree” Frankly on a Decree! Anastasia Flash
Having a baby is happiness. Fears will disappear after the appearance of the baby. A child can become a good motivation for self-development for both mom and dad. Friends who are lost are not friends. But there will be new people who support, share their experience. When caring for a child, it is important not to forget about yourself and your husband, then there will be harmony in the family.