I want to think that I am a good role model for my children. But I also understand that I make enough mistakes in their education. I clearly recognize this and do not hide it. In general, I can be called a good mother, but, like other mothers, I have some punctures.
Many people think that daily bad habits (and we are not talking about smoking, let alone alcohol) are an integral part of life. I will allow myself to disagree. Because “health” refers not only to the physical state of the body, but also to the spiritual, it is also about the state of mind, which is no less important. And bad habits negatively affect the work of the body as a whole.
Children tend to take an example from their parents. For this example to be worthy, mothers need to get rid of bad habits. I want to draw your attention to the 10 most common and negatively affecting parenting.
1. The habit of self-criticism
I have said many times with children that I look bad and do not like myself. And I am ashamed of these words. The fact that children hear how their mother speaks derogatoryly about their appearance or actions will not give them self-confidence. Any child should be confident in his mother, but how to be confident in her if she is not confident in herself. I want my kids to be aligned with me. Therefore, I will try to speak only good things about myself, without any criticism of myself.
2. The habit of being too worried and annoyed
I am a real alarmist. Of course, not all mothers are like me, but I know many who are like me. The habit of constantly worrying worry without cause and driving yourself into stress is very exhausting. Our irritation and concern are reflected both in children (children very subtly feel our constant tension) and in our spouse. As a result, the family has an uncomfortable, tense atmosphere.
3. The habit of rushing everywhere and in everything
Every day, mothers face many challenges. And they all try to do non-stop, without rest breaks. It seems that everything can be done in this way, and even more. But, in fact, it is not possible to do even half of what was planned. My children and my husband suffer from the fact that I constantly rush around and rush. I am upset that no one does what I ask, or does it too slowly. Instead of keeping our family ship afloat, the family just wants to escape from it. As a result, I get upset and start to conflict with everyone. Mom should not teach children how to live in bustle, but to show by her own example that priority should be quick and measured.
4. The habit of dependence on the opinions of others
I always fear condemnation: from my husband, parents, friends, and even unfamiliar people (from our children's teachers, pediatricians, mothers in the neighborhood).Whatever the reason for the fear, it should not be! I want my children to know that their mother has her own opinion, and she is 100% sure that she is doing. Even if my thoughts and actions cause criticism and slanting views of others. From childhood, a mother should teach her children to ignore sidelong glances or words of disapproval. Otherwise, the child will do all his life only what other people want.
5. The habit of eating as you have to
I have a special relationship with food. I think for a long time that when it’s better for me to eat, so that the numbers on the scales are not frightening, and then I can break loose and eat the rest of the dinner, which was prepared for the whole family. Mom shouldn’t do that! Nutrition should be healthy and balanced.
Moms often convince children that they need to eat well and put maximum effort into this. However, for some reason they themselves do the opposite, and children perceive such behavior as "Only children should eat well!" As a result, when they grow up, then, like their mother, they begin to interrupt themselves with sandwiches and coffee.
6. The habit of taking on too much
The ability to say no is important to everyone! We must learn how to respond to requests so as not to let others sit on our neck.
7. The habit of putting your interests last
When I do not care about myself and do not rest, not only I suffer - the whole family suffers. Every mother should have time to relax and take care of herself. If this moment is neglected, the whole family will suffer. A rested mother communicates with her family more calmly and benevolently. And there is no need to feel guilty when you try to pay a little attention to yourself.
8. The habit of offending / shutting oneself up
I constantly teach my children how to stand up for themselves, but I myself can’t say a word to the offender, and I myself shut up instantly as soon as it comes down to business. Why am I doing this? Such my behavior looks strange and puts children in an unpleasant situation. And I must show them an example of how politely, but firmly, to put offenders in their place.
9. The habit of comparing yourself to other people
This habit does not make me better, but causes envy in relation to other people. If a mother wants to raise self-sufficient children, then she should not be allowed to hear from her any comparisons of herself with others. This teaches children envy. Also, children of mothers who like to compare will never understand that a person will be successful only when he ceases to want what someone has. Dreams come true, if only your dreams. If you compare yourself with someone, then with yourself in the past.
10. The habit of neglecting your marriage
Your relationship with your spouse is the foundation on which your children will build their own relationships. This happens in most cases. Your children’s own family relationships in the future will be based on a relationship between you and your spouse. In adulthood, children begin to copy the family structure of their parents. That is why your husband should treat his wife as he would like his daughter’s husband to treat her.
So, I noted in myself 10 bad habits and begin to fight them. I have something to work on to become a good example for my children. Try not to miss the moment when you can still change and show them, not in words, but by your own example, what kind of person you need to be. Remember, not only the present, but also the future of your children depends on you! Start to listen better and relate to yourself - and become an exemplary mom with me!
We also read:
All of these habits can negatively affect a child. You need to make a list of tasks for yourself in your diary and stick to them. For example, limit yourself in some words and remove bad habits.
I would also add the habit of being comfortable for everyone and pleasing everyone. You must be able to say “no” even to your family, so as not to turn into a slave Isaur. Owing to this, they will continue to degrade and sit on their necks. Checked.