Pros and cons of a large family

I’m already used to the fact that my family has many children. Sometimes everyone looks at us with undisguised surprise, because in today's complex pace of life it is difficult to combine material, social and psychological well-being. My husband and I have five children. And many have the question of how we deal with problems. But in our situation there are pluses, as well as minuses. Let's start with the cons.

Are these disadvantages?

1. Food can end just instantly, especially vegetables and fruits. The husband still wonders how it all ended quickly. I remember the mother’s story of 9 children that 20 kg of oranges ran out in a day.
2. It’s not always possible to please everyone. With one child it is much easier to find a compromise or change his mood. But with five children have to be patient. It happens that the daughter is unhappy with something, and the next day one of the sons shows his character.
3. My husband and I have to improve. Or engage in tough self-education. Children quickly set an example with us. And if we make a mistake somewhere, they immediately perceive this as a normal line of behavior. It would be convenient to shift all the care of the child to the spouse, but when there are five of them, you have to share responsibilities.
4. I feel constantly busy as if I were missing. It will not work to hug and caress all five at the same time, there are not enough hands. While you are engaged in one child, the other already manages to break something, fall or quarrel.
5. Time is now the most precious gift for me. Its boundaries are clearly marked, and for relaxation and pleasure for yourself not to allocate 30 minutes a day. Household chores, constant fuss and attention to children takes a lot of time. I used to have the opportunity to sleep in the afternoon. I realized that this is now impossible. When you have one child and he sleeps - this is your time. And when there are three of them, and one is sleeping, but two are not? Or two are sleeping, but one is not? Whose time is it then?
6. Every child wants personal attention for themselves. This can be difficult, but the child does not need that much attention - draw a little together, collect Lego, hug.
7. I do not have time for bliss in bed in the morning, laziness and depression. Sometimes I watch foreign or Russian films where some women allow themselves not to leave their beds until 10 in the morning. Oh, that is a luxury for me. It happens that as early as six in the morning, our small kindergarten and noisy wake up for breakfast can get in bed with her husband.
8. It is difficult to perceive children's cries, noise and quarrels. But they are inevitable in any family. I have not yet seen sisters or brothers who did not share even the most inconspicuous trifle among themselves. When our boys begin to sort things out, it becomes hard.
9. The difference in taste in food seems an inconspicuous point, but when you come across it constantly, it bothers. Today I cook semolina porridge - a 7 liter pan. And suddenly, two or three of my children categorically refuse it.How to be here? We have to find all kinds of options so that the porridge is eaten, and the children are fed.
10. In a large family, everything is collective. And if one child leaves his slippers on the doorstep, then they will certainly be dressed by another child. Who managed, that and slippers.
11. My husband and I are in constant turmoil and noise. It becomes good at night when there is silence. But it may not last long. One can get into the toilet, the other can drink some water, and the third child suddenly had a nightmare.
12. A separate topic is the number of things in our house. They are everywhere. And when a rare event occurs - a trip, you have to collect a huge amount of things. You try to take everything to a minimum, but everything does not fit in one suitcase. And since there are more things, it can be more difficult with order, and with washing, and with folding in places.
13. I no longer imagine trips to expensive resorts. Yes, we find the opportunity to visit camp sites, but the cost of tickets is more expensive. And they do not always give to settle in a hotel in a regular room. To do this, we purchase two rooms or one large, we need large cars for rent and so on.
14. Separately, I want to say about spending. This applies not only to relaxation, but also to the home environment. Budget allocation is almost impossible, so if you have the opportunity to purchase something, we do it right away. Otherwise, money quickly flows away like water.
15. I have practically no time for my husband. We are still so young, but constant care does not allow us to be alone. Sometimes you want to put on a beautiful dress, go together to a movie theater or an ordinary cafe. But everything is limited to a common home cinema with our kids. No, there are times when we have time for ourselves, but already it becomes unusual. One joke of a father with many children is known that the more children there are in the house, the less is the chance for new ones to appear :).
16. Sometimes I get lost in my behavior. I understand that I used one tactic to raise a child, but it no longer affects the rest of my little family members. We have to find a special approach in any of the situations. Sometimes connect humor, rigor or improvise. A single education system in a large family does not exist!
17. In a large family, they don’t click their beaks. If you yawn and think for a long time whether you want to eat an apple, then it definitely won’t get. This is a minus for children who think for a long time.
18. Sometimes we feel like a staff with my husband. All day I iron, wash, clean, cook. Fortunately, modern household appliances help out. I can’t imagine myself in the Middle Ages with five children, when there was simply no electricity. The wife gets not only the upbringing of the children, but also the men's housework, which I cannot do. Even if someone came to help from relatives, the load does not decrease. Here you are already trying to cover other matters that you postponed to another day.
19. Going for a visit is a certain difficulty for us. To come to someone with five children is problematic. Yes, and you won’t drink tea there calmly, you must follow everyone.
20. Household items and clothing wear out faster than in ordinary families. Children constantly beat something or accidentally break. We try to accustom them to frugality and order. We also shift this responsibility to the eldest son, who helps us keep track of the tricks of the kids.

All of the above material and educational items can plunge ordinary families into a light shock. It is these problems that cause people's fear of the birth of a large number of children. But I want to bring to the attention of other parents the many advantages of my family precisely from a psychological, not material point of view.

We also read:What benefits and benefits can be used by large families in 2016?

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pros

1. Fun. I don’t have to get bored. One is singing, the other is dancing, the third is helping in the kitchen. A large number of beloved children makes the world brighter and more festive.
2. Personal growth. I have to constantly improve. Yes, and dad too.We are becoming better and more tolerant. Gradually, the realization of oneself as a person takes place. In many ways, two is easier than one, and three is easier than two. They are distracted by each other, play, build relationships with each other.
3. Children are not always jerking from household chores or distracting over trifles. They are mainly engaged in games among themselves or in common business. It's nice to see how your close-knit team is trying to build relationships with each other and mutually help each other out.
4. The eldest child is a great help. It is enough to teach him something, as the entire younger contingent takes an example from him and imitates him. This is how collective training takes place. Therefore, many say that it is enough to educate one, and then put on stream. Sometimes one is enough to teach something - and he will teach the rest.
5. You can endlessly be touched by looking at your dear children. How they hug, kiss, cherish their native blood. Their care for each other eradicates callousness and greed. When they are equally dressed, when they are sharing with each other and taking care of each other. This is the main difference between a large family from those where one child is brought up.
6. Family photos and video as a keepsake is the most precious gift. Together we make plans, go on a trip, arrange celebrations in our large cohesive company.
7. True awareness of life is revealed only after the birth of several babies. And it is strange that families with three children are already considered to be large. Many argue that three children in the family are the norm.
8. Each child is unique in its character. Constantly surprised, like a brother and sister, but they are different in views. And in a large family there is a chance to see this in practice, when the same parents have several children who are completely different. In addition, in a large family, parents will not put their ambitions or fulfill their dreams at the expense of children in the first place.
9. A social revolution takes place inside a large family, which helps the child to become better spiritually and physically. He learns to put up, share, express his feelings and realize himself. This is important for further stay in a school or work team. Adapting to change and the environment is easier. Real socialization. From which you can’t hide, do not pretend to be someone.
10. There is no need for kindergarten. Yes, and many grandmothers complain that attention and attitude to the child in some preschool institutions is not the same as in the old days. And you can teach children the basics for school at home. The eldest child also helps.
11. You can always hug someone. It's just to show your feelings, affection and love.
12. Mom will have to deal with herself and her inner development - otherwise she will not survive. She will have to find a hobby and change her attitude towards herself.
13. In some situations, you have to use humor. Without it it is impossible, therefore, in our family they try to look at complex things easier.
14. Self-efficacy increases several times, and in less time I can do more things. But with the birth of my first child, I practically did not have enough time for anything. The best time management teacher is children.
15. A large family is a huge moral work. Qualities such as humility, patience, understanding, and giving oneself to another person are developed. In such families, children after marriage are already ready for an independent life, they know how to handle their own babies. What upbringing to apply, how to play or care.
16. When parents finish their journey, the children will always have support from brothers or sisters. And true friendship will last a lifetime.
17. You can learn a lot of new things, because each child has his own development and tastes. You can learn to draw, glue planes or assemble a constructor.
18. Parents finally have to delegate responsibilities - one or two children can be fully served independently. But when there are three or four of them, you have to look for other solutions to the problem.
19. I observe that mothers with many children have irresistible internal and external beauty. They are versatile personalities.
20. Raising a few children is not much more expensive. Management is gradually changing. The younger get things from the elders. There is no need for unnecessary things.
21. Open space for the development of new ideas and talents. You can become the leader of the masses, assemble your own theater or sports team.
22. A large family requires a large space, so you can move the countryside to nature. You can engage in the garden and household, which also accustoms to responsibility.
23. Parents with a large number of children are already a full-fledged cell. Not just a couple, but a union that shares difficulties and joy. The price of such a relationship is very high.
24. Faith in God is strengthened. You begin to believe that someone is protecting the children and you. Otherwise it’s impossible, you can go crazy about the fact that you can’t be everywhere and at once.
25. The more children, the more joy, positive thoughts and enthusiasm. And each child manages to participate in this 100%.
26. With the advent of each subsequent child, the world opens in a different light and from other sides. This unique phenomenon helps to find full value.
27. It is amazing to see in their eyes the continuation of a beloved husband. Each time in a different way. This is probably the most amazing feeling - to give birth to a piece of a loved one.
28. When mom is busy with an important task - that is, raising children, she leaves her energy there. While the child is small, he needs one hundred percent, and a lot of energy is spent, she has no time to engage in nonsense. But barely growing up - mom gradually begins to make the brain to dad. Because she has an excess of energy. It would be possible to work her, but then she would spend everything there. But it is better for her to give birth to someone again - and to pour out her forces there.
29. In a large family, children do not suffer from hyper-custody, parents have no time to control them, to monitor them totally. They have more freedom and independence in their lives.
30. From young children comes a powerful charge of positive and happiness, so in a large family there is a lot of it.
31. Parents after the birth of several children become much closer and more dear to each other. Their relationship is of great value. The more children, the stronger the spiritual closeness and love.
32. A large family is characterized by great cares, a big noise, enhanced by laughter and tears. But there are doubly more reasons for love and joy in it. Now there are very few large families and this is frustrating. It is advisable that these statistics change!

Pros and cons ... And the children grow up, grow up, and the house is getting quieter and quieter ... And you are so used to noise and children's laughter already. Children are like a drug. It’s good when they are, when there are many of them. And as one man once said, there should always be a small child in the house, as long as possible. I agree with him.

A large family means more worries, more noise, more laughter and tears, more love and reasons for joy. Once all families were like that. Now they are in the minority. Very sorry. Let's change such statistics?

We also read:

• 10 arguments in favor of a large family
• The manifesto of a mother of many children: why children are hard and what to do if you want to quit and run away
• Why it is worth being a mother with many children: 5 weighty and weighty arguments in favor of a large family
• The experience of a mother with many children: 5 ways to make life easier for parents and children

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