Few people can imagine the structure of a typical large family. This is often a very complex mechanism in which everyone is obliged to fulfill their part of the mission so that this mechanism does not fall into pieces. And so it historically develops, that it is on the shoulders of a mother of many children that lies more than half of all everyday tasks.
Usually, when the phrase “mother of many children” is used in the imagination of most people, an unsightly picture is drawn: a tired, rumpled and unhappy woman of an undetermined age, in whose eyes there is hopeless sadness. I have to admit that such stereotypes are real reasons. For example, having a huge number of small children in the house, not every day a good time can fall out to allocate it to care for your own face and body. And even if this time happily appears, then most of all in the world at this moment you want to lie still on the couch, depicting a mummy, and not hang around at the bathroom mirror.
But not everything is as gloomy as it might seem. Yes, three (or more) children in one apartment is hard and difficult, troublesome and sometimes even unbearable. Here are just usually women with their own hands exacerbate their situation, deliberately denying themselves everything, driving themselves worse than a workhorse. Do you want to learn how to always radiate happiness, like a mom from an advertisement for orange juice? It is very easy!
Reception 1: Mom is not a slave!
The most difficult thing is to make a woman with many children realize that she is not a device for cleaning an apartment, cooking food and dusting. Very often, many moms are so addicted to their absurd sacrifices that they begin to go too far and completely forget about themselves. Even when everything in the house has long been redone, the children are washed, fed and put to bed, and an hour or two of free time appears. Instead of resting or taking care of herself, a tired mother puts on the guise of humble humility and runs to seek out new activities.
A reasonable fraction of selfishness is very important. If only because a worn-out and worn-out woman is aging and decrepit ahead of schedule, and therefore is worse at monitoring her children and begins to take physically early. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family in the future. Any person needs rest, needs sleep, relaxation for an overloaded nervous system. And even an hour of doing nothing on the couch or at the computer.
Teach your children to understand this. Mom is a man. And mother needs her own personal time, when no one will distract her, disturb her or run on her heels with loud screams. I advise you to allocate evening time for your needs, when the children are already preparing for bed, and the chores of the outgoing day are left behind.As a last resort, you can lock yourself in the bathroom with headphones and music. Everything that benefits a large mother is also beneficial to her family!
We also read: Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/otchego-tyi-ustala-tyi-zhe-doma-sidish.html
Reception 2:Do not mind the money!
Oh, these post-Soviet mothers with many children, nurtured by the thought that the mother and wife are primarily a slander on the sacrificial table of the hearth. It is customary to spend the entire family budget exclusively on children and the family. For anything, but not for the mother herself! Remember the last time anything new appeared in your closet? When did you please yourself with a pleasant purchase? But you are a woman. And this is a priority!
There is nothing wrong with wanting to buy a new lipstick, shoes or dress. Moreover, these desires are completely natural and normal. Stop pinching every penny, denying yourself even the most necessary. No one will appreciate these victims, and such permanent deprivation affects the relationship with her husband not in the best way. Because a self-satisfied woman is a happy woman. And everyone is well aware that 90% of the female mood stems from completely material things. Such as a gift of roses from her husband or the purchase of a new perfume bottle.
I do not force to spend all the money on myself! But do not forget to allow yourself spontaneous and joyful purchases at least once a month.
Reception 3:Daily routine around the head!
Even before the appearance of the third child in the family, I started a useful habit of writing down all important matters on a sticky note in chronological order, and then sticking it on the refrigerator. The sticker always allows me to follow the plans of the current day, not to miss important points (after all, even a young mother often has problems with memory).
Thanks to the coordinated schedule, you can postpone minor matters so as not to get exhausted in a day, but at the same time all the most necessary things will be completed. Accustom yourself to take notes of all your plans. Everyday!
We also read: How can a young mother deal with her child and household chores?
Reception 4:Nobody cares how many children you have!
I understood this right away. People on the street do not care that you have three snotty babies at home, because of which you did not sleep all night and did not have time to put yourself in order. They see only a groomed and untidy woman.
You can not justify the fact that you are tired, that you are having many children. Or something else. Teach yourself to discard the fact that you have a heavier device for everyday life than others. This in no case should serve as a reason for concessions! Do not cover your children with their unkempt hair or poor appearance. I became a mother of many children at 25, managed without the help of nannies and grandmothers, so I know perfectly well: even on the craziest day you can find 5 minutes for a comb and makeup!
We also read:
- Why it is worth being a mother with many children: 5 weighty and weighty arguments in favor of a large family
- Advantages: 10 arguments in favor of a large family
- 5 life hacks from a mother with many children that will make life easier for everyone
- Pros and cons of a large family
- One day in the life of a mother with many children: frankly about a family of 10 people
Reception 5: Distribute responsibilities!
Stop doing everything alone if you have a squad of little helpers in your house. Even a one-year-old baby is already able to put toys in place. And older children can make a bed, help mom with the housework. A school-age child can easily wash dishes regularly, go shopping at the store. And do not forget about her husband! He is also obliged to contribute.
In a large family, everyone takes on part of the responsibilities that he agrees to perform. And do not even think about giving up the help of your relatives and doing everything alone!
We also read:
I grew up in a large family. Me and 2 of my older sisters. And the main rule in our family was to blink mom whenever it is possible. We were taught from early childhood that we should help with the housework: wipe the dust somewhere, wash the dishes, cook breakfast, so that we would correctly distribute the responsibilities between all family members. We tried to make sure that our mother had more free time, did not forget about herself and therefore our mother was always well-groomed, as she had time for herself. All the same, I think, the distribution of duties is the most effective method of both raising children and the life of a mother with many children.
Sometimes there is simply not enough strength to cope with all the domestic household, I have 3 children, 2 boys and 1 girl. When it’s not getting very hard for me, I remember how they were born, what emotions I felt at that moment, and then a surge of strength and good mood covers me) My advice to young mothers, just think about the positive, because you yourself knew what you were going on . But children are now our life with you