Does your child come from school in a depressed mood and in tears? He has no friends among his classmates, and is there absolutely no desire to go to study? Perhaps his classmates offend him. Harassment and cruelty, unfortunately, is a frequent occurrence among schoolchildren, especially among teenagers. Parents, having learned that the child has not developed a relationship with their peers, often do not understand how to react correctly. Instead of helping their son or daughter, they often simply dismiss children's problems, thereby exacerbating the situation.
To shame the offender at all
It is not easy to control yourself when your child is offended. I want to level the offender with the earth, with all honest people, so that others are not disagreeable.
Of course, this is absolutely impossible. Firstly, such actions are illegal, and secondly, you are unlikely to help your child. Maybe for a short time he will be left alone, but later attacks will resume with renewed vigor. For peers, he will be a sneak, a sissy and a traitor.
Transfer all responsibility for the situation to the child
It happens that parents, trying to objectively understand the situation, blame the child himself, explaining this by the fact that other children do not have similar problems.
Such parents would be advised to put themselves in the place of the child and imagine how he feels. At school, he is uncomfortable, and even no one supports him at home. By making such accusations, you automatically take the side of the offenders. If the child does not feel support in the family, he becomes withdrawn and unsure of himself. In such a situation, life will become an unbearable burden for him, and the consequences may be the most deplorable.
Advise "not notice offenders"
Often parents advise not to pay attention to offenders, and even experienced teachers support them in this. In their opinion, it is worth ignoring resentment and ridicule, as the situation will resolve itself. Alas, if everything were so simple. It seems to the child that everyone does not care about his feelings, and if he feels bad and painful, he should silently bear the grudge. Be sure to explain to him that his feelings are very important to you.
On the other hand, ignoring the situation leads to the fact that the aggressor comes up with more sophisticated methods of treating his victim, if only to attract attention to himself.
To teach "to give back"
The most controversial and common advice. As they say, how many people, so many opinions.Someone believes that people should solve conflicts peacefully, while someone adheres to the principle of "an eye for an eye."
It must be clearly understood that children may not calculate their strength on impact. And the consequences will be unpredictable. And yet - children only learn adult life. If they get used to solve all problems by force in childhood, they will transfer such behavior to adulthood.
Discount the situation
Almost all parents are divided into 2 camps - alarmists and indifferent.
Alarmists make a noise when they see a slight bruise or a trifle scratch. Indifferent parents perceive any violence, both physical and moral, as usual children's quarrels.
Parents from the second category should clearly understand that obstruction has distinctive features:
- repeatability
- inequality of power;
- intent.
Ignoring the situation, you hurt the teenager’s self-esteem. It’s hard for him, and you pretend that nothing is happening. The child will stop talking about his feelings. Usually closed and insecure teenagers become victims of the aggressor.
Hide the situation from the school administration
Parents cannot solve such problems alone. The situation should be discussed with the class teacher, the school principal, as well as with the parents of classmates. Having discussed the problem, you can act together. Teachers should explain to their students what tolerance, loyalty, and respect for others are. Parents, for their part, should pay attention to their child and relationships within the family.
Only through the joint efforts of teachers, parents and children themselves can we find a way out of a difficult situation.
We also read: Bullying at school: how to protect a child from bullying
