Postpartum depression in fathers: why it occurs and how to help a young dad

Postpartum depression in mothers is a common and fairly studied phenomenon, but, it turns out, similar symptoms also appear in some men. And although depression is less common among young dads, a disregard for its manifestations can negatively affect all households and, above all, the child. How can postpartum depression in men be recognized? Its signs, causes, treatment will be discussed in the article.

What is postpartum depression?

According to studies conducted in different countries of the world, up to 25% of women and up to 10% of men suffer from postpartum depression. Moreover, while the study of postpartum disorders in women has been conducted over the past 50 years, psychologists and doctors first drew attention to the problems of newly-made fathers only a few years ago.

Depression is not just a depressed mood or melancholy tormenting parents, but a serious illness that requires competent and qualified help. After all, now mom and dad have to think about themselves and about a newborn baby.

The appearance of a baby in the family causes cardinal changes in the life of spouses, accustomed to stable relationships. The kid takes all his free time, constantly cries and interferes with sleep. Most parents quickly adapt to new conditions, but some take a very long time to get used to the new role, which causes depression.

How to recognize postpartum depression in a husband: symptoms and signs

Signs of a similar phenomenon in fathers and mothers are somewhat similar: sleep disturbance, fatigue and apathy. However, the ways men respond to postpartum depression are significantly different from women’s, which makes diagnosis difficult. Nevertheless, experts identified the main symptoms by which one can judge whether the young dad has psycho-emotional problems.

1. The husband spends little time with the baby or tries to avoid contact with him in every possible way. In a normal state, the father wants to be with the child all his free time (unless, of course, he is not tired at work), but with depression, such communication seems pointless.
2. The newly-made father is annoyed by any trifle, so in the family there are constant quarrels. A scandal can break out literally because of any “spark”, for example, because of an unprepared dinner or dirty dishes.
3. The young father began to linger in the workplace or is looking for any reason not to appear at home. If this was not observed before the birth of the baby, then this should alert the spouse.
4. Men who suffer from postpartum depression have impulsive and risky behaviors, such as reckless driving, alcohol abuse, and even extramarital affairs.
5. Also, the spouse can become withdrawn, lose their former interest in hobbies and hobbies, disconnect from an active social life. If a man does not talk about what is happening at work, does not share news, is not interested in household chores, a woman should pay special attention to this.

Reasons for this behavior

Surely women will have a logical question: “Why should a young dad suffer from depression?” He did not bear and give birth to a baby, and even after childbirth, the main chores fall on fragile female shoulders. And yet, where does paternal postpartum depression come from?

1. Unreadiness for change. It is women who are preparing for the appearance of the children before pregnancy, and most future fathers by and large do not realize how their life will change with the advent of the baby (We also read: How to find out if your husband wants a baby).
2. The difference between expectations and reality. Men expect their paternal instinct to awaken immediately after the appearance of a cute little peanut in the house. However, after sleepless nights, soiled diapers and a loud roar, this very instinct for some reason does not appear. And only after a few years, the father begins to fiddle with a smart and talkative child with pleasure.
3. Longing for former freedom. Some dads, accustomed to having fun meetings with friends on weekends, bitterly realize that the former freedom is a thing of the past.
4. The requirements of the spouse. Not every man is ready to share with his wife all the worries and chores associated with the newborn. Perhaps the woman puts too much pressure on him, arguing that "the husbands of my friends should not be forced to wash the dishes, clean the apartment and take a walk with my son."
5. Fatigue. Lack of sleep and chronic overwork (work, home, child) affect the mood of a man and the work of his nervous system. Sometimes fatigue accumulates for months, and sometimes depression can occur after a couple of weeks.
6. Lack of female attention. With the birth of a baby, almost all the attention of a woman goes to him, and not to her husband. It is not surprising that a man lacks hugs, kisses and a full sexual life.
7. Changes in the appearance of the wife. In many women, after birth, the figure changes, extra pounds appear. And sometimes there is absolutely no time left for self-care. Not every man is ready to love and desire a spouse, regardless of her appearance and excess weight (We also read: how to lose weight after childbirth).

How to get rid of postpartum depression?

You need to deal with depression together. Not only the spouse, but also the wife must change themselves and their attitude to family responsibilities. What exactly needs to be done?

• Be sure to talk heart to heart, find out what worries your husband, tell us about what worries you. Ideally, you need to find a solution that would suit both spouses.
• Set a duty schedule so that both mom and dad can sleep and rest. For example, today the wife will get up to the screaming baby, and tomorrow the husband will. If the parents are too tired, you can try to hire a home nanny for the child (read how to choose a nanny).
• A woman needs to make time to put herself in order. However, the spouse should also support the spouse and take care of the child completely in their hands for a couple of hours a day. So a young mother is more likely to regain her former slim figure.
• A young dad, working and helping as much as possible his spouse, sometimes needs to break out of the hustle and bustle: watch TV, play a computer game, meet friends. But a woman should also see her friends, go to a cafe or a movie theater.
• Father needs extra time and help from his wife in order to quickly get used to the new role. The spouse can tell and unobtrusively show how to handle the newborn. The three of us should also spend more time: walking, going to visit grandmothers, meeting family friends.
• It is important for young parents to seek help from relatives who can sit with the baby, go to the clinic, and take him to their place for the whole day. The freed up time can be spent on the harmonization of marital relations.
• If the psycho-emotional state of the spouse only worsens, you need to consult a specialist, ask for the qualified support of a psychotherapist. Remember that depression in men can have serious consequences.

Perhaps it is strange for young mothers to hear that men also have postpartum depression. However, the fact remains. Lack of help in this condition can destroy even the strongest relationships. The woman’s task is to notice this threat in time and support the spouse.

READ ALSO:

For Mom:10 Tips HOW to get rid of depression after childbirth: signs and causes of a depressive state (a lot of real video) – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/poslerodovaya-depressiya.html

Postpartum Psychosis: Causes, Symptoms and Treatment – https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/poslerodovoy-psihoz.html

Video plot: postpartum depression in men