What to do if a child smokes? Parent Tips

The problem of smoking is increasingly affecting the youngest. Disappointing statistics show that the age when teens start smoking is getting smaller and smaller. So, girls are increasingly trying their first cigarette by the age of 13. And boys before that - by 10 years. But what about the parents of children who started smoking?

The first cigarette does not give a pleasant feeling. Her taste is unpleasant, but the child’s unwillingness to be a black sheep among his peers makes him smoke again and again. Psychologists and narcologists have shown that addiction, in other words, nicotine addiction, occurs already with the fifth cigarette. Needless to say, children can become addicted to cigarettes incredibly quickly. Initially, the child will smoke exclusively “for company”, without experiencing the pleasure of a smoked cigarette. But the more often he does this, the faster he will develop the need for a psycho-stimulating effect of nicotine.

Only medical facts!

Before proceeding to the study of how to be parents, if a child suddenly started smoking, it is worth considering in more detail the data on the dangers of nicotine for a young body. Only parents should consider that telling him stories about the dangers and dangers of smoking makes no sense. This will in no way contribute to his quitting smoking. Accurate medical statistics and your own example will have a much greater effect.

• If we talk about the dangers of smoking from a medical point of view, then nicotine primarily affects the nervous system. It literally depletes nerve cells, which leads to a constant feeling of fatigue. The stamina and activity habitual for a healthy organism is replaced by irritability and nervous excitability. Constant nervousness - this is the faithful companion of the smoker;
• Smoking dramatically worsens the functioning of the sensory organs. The sense of smell, hearing, and vision begin to malfunction. The enamel of teeth in smokers is destroyed much faster. This is due to the fact that when smoking a person inhales air, the temperature of which is much lower than that of cigarette smoke, this difference provokes the destruction of tooth enamel;
• Memory due to smoking is gradually deteriorating, and the development of basic mental processes is also deteriorating. At the same time, the more the child begins to smoke, the more likely it is that his analytical thinking will gradually begin to fail;
• Another system of the body that suffers more than others from nicotine addiction is the respiratory system. Due to the fact that the body is still growing, the respiratory system is not able to process the tobacco smoke entering the lungs. Because of this, part of it literally settles on the young lungs. This always complicates the course of colds. Over time, the young smoker, even with a small load, will begin to change the timbre of his voice, shortness of breath, a constant angry cough;
• Appearance from regular smoking will start to suffer: acne and acne, glossy skin. Often these are the signs that a young cigarette lover can give out. Despite all the harm caused by smoking on the body, children in this matter are not particularly literate. Usually they don’t even suspect and don’t think that smoking is not just fun, fashionable among peers, but a real addiction, which over time destroys the young body.

Why do children start smoking?

Do not rush to extremes, nervous and punishing the child for starting to smoke. It is best in this case to calm down, not to be nervous, and to think carefully about why he is still addicted to this habit, to take action. The best option would be to talk in a friendly tone, without yelling and cursing. At the same time, parents can find out why their own child still started smoking. There is a much greater chance that he himself will talk about the reason for smoking, if you talk to him kindly, without punishing.

So, why is a teenager taking a cigarette for the first time? As it turned out, there can be many reasons for this:

• The child just wanted to try what cigarettes are;
• An example in order to start smoking was the parents themselves;
• Friends offered to smoke, because it is fashionable;
• A peer offered a cigarette, taking it “weakly”, they say, everyone smokes, but are you a wimp?
• He began to smoke in order to look more mature and authoritative in the eyes of his friends;
• Sometimes children see that their favorite characters in the movie smoke, so they begin to do the same;
• Favorite show business stars also smoke;
• Bright advertising, prize draws often push teenagers to smoke;
• Children are often drawn to everything harmful and forbidden;
• Excessive parental control, dictates force to take a cigarette in the hands of spiteful parents;
• Excess free time, boredom and monotony - all this can also push a child to smoke;
• Craving for the dangerous and forbidden ...

Separately, it is worth mentioning such a problem as the inability of a teenager to realize himself in society. If he doesn’t go to any sections and circles, doesn’t do what is really interesting for him, then he will be left to his own devices - this will most likely push him to a cigarette.

How can I find out if a teenager smokes?

If parents are attentive to their child, then they will easily notice some characteristic signs of a smoking child. The smell of cigarette smoke lasts a very long time on clothes and hair. If a person started smoking recently, then a dry cough will give him out. Over time, the smoker begins to change (yellow) the color of the skin of his face and hands, the color of the nails. Teeth also turn yellow. This is especially true for those who smoke cheap cigarettes.

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Psycho-emotional state can also give out a smoker. If for a long time he cannot escape from your observation (smoke), he begins to get nervous. More serious smokers (spice or grass) gives out the instability of emotional behavior. Such a teenager often rushes from one extreme to another.

Pieces of tobacco may appear at the bottom of the pockets and in the smoker's bag.If he constantly chews gum, then it is likely that he “chews” the unpleasant smell of cigarettes.

What do parents usually do if they find out that their child smokes?

1. Some parents, having learned that their beloved child smokes, allow him to do it at home. Sometimes it works, and a teenager throws addiction. But it may happen that he, knowing permissiveness, will go even further in his actions.
2. Some mothers and fathers make their child smoke a whole pack of cigarettes. That he experienced an aversion to nicotine at a physiological level. This is not only harmful, but also useless from an educational point of view. It is likely that he will continue to smoke "in vain."
3. Swearing, threats of punishment, demands to tie with a bad habit, prohibitions to communicate with “bad” guys. Such measures, alas, are rarely effective.

We help resist the temptation

One of the most effective ways to help your child resist the temptation to start smoking is a personal example. If you do not smoke, then without problems you can put a teenager yourself as an example.

If you nevertheless began to suspect that your child began to smoke, then try to friendly talk with him about it. Remember that at the initial stage, it will be much easier for a teenager to give up addiction. Do not hide your emotions and feelings from him. Let your child know that you are not going to scold him during the conversation, that you are really worried about this news and upset. Explain to him that you cannot remain indifferent to the fact that he poisons himself with nicotine, but you will not crush your authority.

To help your son or daughter resist the temptation to start smoking, try to spend more time with him, to be interested in his hobbies and desires. If a child likes to ride a bicycle or play football, then do it with him.

Give your child more freedom in terms of choice of interests, style of clothes, books and music - then he will not have the need to defend his freedom and protest against his parent “not” with cigarettes. If he is regularly forbidden to do anything, then there is a good chance that he will spontaneously start smoking, showing his independence.

Unsure of himself, not wanting to lose credibility in his company, a teenager is unlikely to just give up cigarettes. And, nevertheless, try to convey to him that the ability to defend one’s opinion and one’s position is an important quality, that this is a sign of a formed personality, you don’t need to “be like everyone else” and poison your body to please friends.

In order not to be late, start the stories about the dangers of smoking when your children are small and for the first time wonder what kind of sticks they are in their mouths and why they are. No need to brush off the child with a simple “this is kaka” and “fu”, it is worth explaining to your kids what it is and how harmful it is. Of course, information must be presented, given the age of the crumbs.

What if the child started smoking? How to help a child quit smoking?

Of course, this news will upset you. Moreover, experience shows that few people in this situation are able to calmly talk with the child on this topic. More often than not, this is a home scandal with tantrums, threats, slamming doors and distributing slaps. Stop: you can’t help with a cry. And it is certain that your threats in the style of “once again and I will” will not solve the problem. First of all, you need to choose the most suitable moment for a conversation: when you have already “digested” this news, calm your nerves and will be ready to calmly talk with your child about his smoking, and the child, accordingly, will be ready for a conversation.

Sometimes teens do not realize that pampering with cigarettes can lead to serious dependence. To make your child understand that this is not a joke - ask him not to smoke for at least a week, and then discuss it together. Let him understand that in reality everything is not so rosy and fun.

Do not think that the way out of this situation is harsh punishment.Many parents act in this way, having learned that the beloved child has begun to smoke. However, this can provoke a protest in the child, which will lead to the fact that the child begins to do everything in spite of the parents. But what about parents who just found out that a teenager was addicted to cigarettes?

To help your child - make a plan together, according to which he will get rid of the habit. Your help and support will be needed more than ever. Read all kinds of literature on the topic “How to quit smoking”, look for it together. Let the child feel your concern for him - this will give him another additional incentive to fight.

• Talk calmly, frankly and honestly. Then you can find out what caused the smoking. Knowing the cause will help you quickly find a method of exposure to the child that will help eradicate the addiction;
• You should not start an aggressive conversation right after the news shocking you. All conversations about smoking should take place only in a friendly atmosphere;
• If you smoke yourself, it is best to start with yourself and say goodbye to a bad habit. If you can’t do it yet, then at least try to remove cigarette packs and lighters from the child’s field of vision;
• After learning that the child began to smoke, begin to look together for options to get rid of this habit. Do not forget about moral support;
• Do not punish him. The best option is to establish a trusting relationship with him;
• If a child began to smoke because he wanted to appear older, then you need to explain to him that it is possible to look like an adult without using a cigarette. You can cite as an example some authoritative person (athlete, musician) who is a role model and who does not smoke;
• Report to him medical data on how harmful smoking is to a fragile child’s body (but as mentioned above, it makes no sense to intimidate a teenager with pictures with black lungs. For him, the disrespect of friends is much worse, but to talk about the dangers of smoking for the vocal cords, skin and teeth, on the contrary, it is necessary, although pictures may also affect some very impressionable children). Support this information with real worldly examples or literature, films;
• If a child started smoking simply “from nothing to do”, then help him open up, find new talents in himself, discover personal qualities that will help him to determine his favorite pastime in the future. It is likely that some advantages will help the child find authority among peers. It is much better if he will achieve respect among friends and classmates by his achievements, and not by smoking;
• Look for new hobbies with your son or daughter that will occupy a large amount of his free time, and there will simply not be time for smoking. Ask the teenager what he would be interested in doing. Maybe he has long dreamed of enrolling in an art school or going to a karate school;
• Watch your child’s surroundings. But do not keep it in excessive severity. By directing his energy in the right direction (see the previous paragraph), you can achieve that the teenager will be busy with some business, instead of messing with obscure companies. Give your child more time to be aware of where and how he spends his time. It is your employment that often results in the child being left to his own devices and choosing the “wrong” companies;
• Raise your child’s self-esteem in his own eyes;
• Look for arguments specifically for your child. It makes no sense to appeal to the conscience and mind of a teenager with spatial reasoning about a hypothetical death from lung cancer, etc. Find “pain points” in your child;
• Give children more freedom in decision making. Upon learning that he began to smoke, let him know that he is responsible for his health;
• Try a workaround and allow him to smoke.Pretend that you do not care, this is his life, and he himself is free to make decisions. With a high degree of probability, he will very soon give up the bad habit that has become available to him. After all, only the forbidden fruit is sweet;
• If your child lit a cigarette in order to interest the opposite sex? Tell him other ways to get attention from the person you like;
• It is very important for a child to have a trusting relationship with parents. He needs to come to mom and dad in any situation, share his opinion. For parents, it is necessary to become a child's friend, to whom he can come for advice in any situation. Then you can be sure that when you try to cope with any problem or make a serious decision, the child will always turn to you for help. If he suddenly begins to smoke, it will be easier for you to influence him;
• Pay attention to the situation in the family. Family disruption often becomes one of the reasons. A child may feel unnecessary, abandoned, just be dissatisfied with the role that is assigned to him in the family. It is also possible that he is trying to draw your attention to himself: remember how the kids behave when they lack this attention - they begin to mess out;
• You can try the radical method and sign up with a psychologist. It is likely that the child will take this decision with hostility, so do it very carefully.

A child smokes 40 cigarettes per day

Ardi Rizal is only two years old, but now he cannot live a day without smoking 40 cigarettes. The father taught the boy a bad habit:

Useful Tips for Parents

1. Try to find out why he smokes, what is the reason that prompted him to try? Do not just get an answer, but invite the child to explain to you why he is smoking and whether he really understands how harmful this is to his growing body.
2. Do not start serious conversations with the words “smoking - harming your health”, “you are not mature enough”, etc. By doing this you will ensure yourself a failure to achieve the result. Build the phrase so that the child understands that he is placed on the same level as an adult.
3. If you forbid a teenager to smoke, but continue to do it yourself, then it will be difficult for him to understand the logic of your behavior. In this case, actively discuss your smoking experience with the child. Tell him about how you or your friends quit smoking, how you didn't like the first taste of cigarettes. Focus on the fact that quitting smoking at first is quite easy and it is better for the child to do it right now, without delaying “for later”, getting even more used to smoking. The whole conversation should be reduced to the fact that adult smokers still harm their health, because they could not or did not want to do it when it was still easy.
4. Keep track of the baby when he returns home. How does he behave? Does it smell like cigarettes? If you notice an unpleasant smell from clothes, you can be sure that his environment smokes. If he smells from the mouth or from the hands, then we can say for sure that the teenager himself smokes. If a child is afraid of being a “black sheep” in the company where they smoke, then try to convince him that this is a delusion. Suggest that he can resist temptations and not take up cigarettes in a smoking company.
5. Try watching documentaries with your child that confirm the enormous harm of smoking. The worse these films are, the better. After watching, be sure to discuss the film, allowing the teenager to speak.
6. Teach your child to rest and relax without using cigarettes. Tell him about harmless ways to have fun and relax. Try to accustom him not only to a healthy lifestyle, but also to any kind of sport. After all, athletes do not smoke. At the same time, load the child with exercises to the maximum so that he has a minimum of time to engage in addictions.
7. Never use your child’s age as an argument when talking about smoking bans.If you tell him that he is small for smoking, then he will do everything for you in spite. This is one of the most common educational mistakes among parents.
8. If after a conversation the child has promised you to quit smoking on the same day, support him in this endeavor. Check back regularly with him.
9. If a child quits smoking, one should regularly ask if he has returned to this habit again. After all, any experienced smoker will tell you that it’s hard not to quit smoking, but to restrain yourself and not return to this habit.
10. If you are unable to influence the child so that he quits smoking, then do not hesitate to contact a psychologist for help. He will help you by giving advice on how to communicate specifically with your teenager.

Kindness and patience will help you find the right approach for the child who started smoking. Look for the cause, and only then eliminate the consequence. In no case do not hysteria, scandal or punish a teenager. Only in this case can you succeed in weaning the child from addiction.

Video: what to do if a child starts smoking

Stories from forums and psychologist's advice

Irina, 45 years old

Recently I found out that my son started smoking. She was very upset, punished: deprived him of pocket money and put him under house arrest. A month passed, everything was somehow smoothed out, already thought that he was no longer smoking. But yesterday I caught him again on this. Again I had to punish. Now he does not speak to me at all. I understand that this is not for long, but I am sure that he will again take up a cigarette. What do i do?

The answer of the psychologist: You originally built the wrong line of behavior with your child. Punishment will not give the desired result, after it he will do everything to you in spite. You need to talk heart-to-heart with the child, in a friendly tone without threats of punishment. In such a conversation, he will tell you why he picked up a cigarette. Together, you can also come up with ways to get rid of this addiction.

Elena, 38 years old

My daughter smokes. Why she decided to do this, I do not know. I haven’t talked to her about this topic since I found out recently. I’m afraid that I myself could become an example for her, because I myself smoke. How should I behave when I continue to talk with her?

The answer of the psychologist: Of course, you yourself set a bad example for your daughter. It makes no sense to tell her about the dangers of smoking if you yourself smoke like a steam locomotive. After all, you are the main example for her. So quit smoking yourself, demonstrate to her that it is not so difficult. You can begin to lead a healthy lifestyle together.

Vika:

I started smoking at the age of 14-15. For fun. Moms smoked girlfriends, scared, scolded, did not give money. Of course, guys could always shoot. Cowed, aired, so as not to stink, poked as they could, but smoked! Surprisingly, my mother calmly somehow reacted, did not scold, did not scare, just said, if you want to smoke - smoke, do not go nuts. I lost interest. And the girlfriends whom the mothers chased for cigarettes did not stop smoking and are still hiding from their mothers, although they have already exceeded 30.

Elena:

We have living examples of the dangers of smoking. Grandfathers on both sides smoked and died of lung cancer. Doctors told them so openly and because of cigarettes. There’s nothing to come up with. Now grandfather’s brother - also a smoker - is coughing so that, it seems, the lungs are about to fly out. I told my son that if I find out that he smokes, I will stop investing in him moral, physical and material costs. Because smoking is the road to self-destruction. And I’m not going to develop a person who “scored” herself.

Svetlana:

We don’t smoke ourselves. Friends, our guests, in the majority - too. Unobtrusively, we will try to instill the opinion that smoking is a bad form. In sports we will give, if there is a desire. Other values ​​are also inculcated in this way. We will definitely not threaten, shout, check pockets, etc. He lights up, that means such a choice. I would not want to introduce elaborations and prohibitions, and it is useless. I will try not to pay attention to this habit.

Zhenya:

A personal example, alas, does not always work.Non-smoking parents are good, but there are a lot of other people around who smoke and say that smokers are bad - you can’t. Indeed, among your acquaintances there are good people, but smokers ... Plus, peers can smoke and, as they say, he can start for a company too, but does a child admit that his friends are bad ....

Marina:

I remember when my mother caught me, she calmly lit a cigarette, and gave me with the words: “well, since you are such an adult, let's sit, have a smoke, talk” .... I don’t know why, but then I was soooooo embarrassed and I cried and said that I wouldn’t ... More, maybe because I'm a girl, if the boys smoke, they are more restrained, as it seems to me.

Shahinya:

Of course, you can even beat a child, show a movie, go to a museum, but there is one rule - if you want to get a result, find out the reason. If you have a close relationship with the child - on occasion, not on purpose, talk to him about his friends, about the girls, what they do, how they spend time. Does he enjoy authority in his environment. Remove it from the shell with stories about yourself, about your growing up. If the child "opens" - open and you. Tell us about how you felt at his age, as well as how you felt when you realized that he smoked.

Verbena:

I smoke myself from 12 years old. Mom tried to talk - it didn’t help, but if she began to ban, yell, close houses - it would be worse, she would smoke anyway. From the age of 14, she already smoked openly at home, and this is better than sticking in the porches and eating toothpaste. Of course, smoking is bad, but if after 9-10 years I find that my daughter smokes, I will try to frighten him with words, films, pictures. Do not be afraid - let him smoke normal cigarettes and not in the gateway.

Shell-well:

I could not influence my son in any way. Scold - did not scold. But constant conversations led. Reactions are zero. It saved that he met a girl, and she was categorically against smoking. Thank you very much. No longer smoking, but only thanks to the influence of his girlfriend. Alas, I was powerless.

Not long ago I found out that my child of 12 years old smokes what should I do?

- a strange question, to get to eat this cigarette !! and then talk .... that if you start smoking, you can no longer stop !!!

- it doesn’t work with everyone, when my friend started an older brother, that his mother just didn’t do anything with him ... forced him to eat cigarettes, smoke 2 packs with it and also seize garlic (an extremely nasty taste), and beat, etc. d .... in the end, he did not quit smoking, but also acquired other bad habits (alcohol and drug) in short, it is better either to a psychologist or under strict control

- do you smoke yourself or dad? My elder also lit up, first at 9 years old, then at 12. It was important for her to gain credibility in the new team and she was afraid to be different than everyone else. And for this character is needed. It’s easier to succumb and become one of all. I didn’t fight in a hysteria, but threw out cigarettes. Explaining to her on the behavior of her younger brother how children act silly, without looking into their future. well, and then the conversations with my dad helped a lot. I don’t want to offend anyone, but my husband (by the way, the first one too! Are sure that it’s nice to spend time with smokers but not to get married! I calmly walked around the corner knowing that my friends had this dependence solely on komplekses and the fear of “not getting to know” MCH. I didn’t have such a thing. They met through me, a non-smoker. Here’s Katya’s father and HEARED! Now MCH is not smoking (for 2 years already), since he had to part with the previous one, he started kissing her and vomited her

- Talk with the child and find out what “motivated”. And if the child insists on smoking, then in a harsh form, offer to go in for sports to “repair damage” to health. Combining smoking and sports probably will not be able to. I have friends who, in the army, contrary to popular belief, quit smoking, because there wasn’t enough cross-country skiing at 3 km)))

- My friend started smoking a child at the age of 7-8. Here's what she did: she agreed with the doctor to play along with her.They come to the reception, the doctor listens to the child with a phonoscope (so called?) And asks YOU ARE SMOKING ?, he naturally says no, and she tells him - well, how can I hear, etc. The promise scared the child, no longer smoking. But will it help in 12 years ?? After all, an adult is already.