The importance of rituals in the life of a child and family

Children are big conservatives. They easily bring traditions and rituals to life. Confidence that the morning will begin with a kiss from mom, and dad will read the evening tale, helps the child navigate this “incomprehensible” life. At first, everything new is wary. It is important for parents to remember this in order to grow up a healthy person who knows how to value traditions. The kid carefully preserves the little "secrets": my mother’s kiss in front of the kindergarten’s doors, the candy on duty in her pocket, which comes from every morning. The day will be familiar. Rituals can be loved, uninteresting, obligatory. With this, the child is ready to put up. Lack of ordering in life dooms the baby to nervous breakdowns, moods, and riots. This is his defensive reaction to the unknown.

Sometimes traditions and rituals themselves are established in the family, then the child naturally fits into the general rules. It can be a Sunday meal with my grandmother or a family trip on Saturdays to the park. The kid waits for the weekend all week, tries to behave well in the kindergarten, learns new things: it is nice to receive praise from his beloved grandmother.

Some system of child behavior is formed by parents intentionally. This is the observance of the daily regimen, nutrition, teeth cleaningwashing hands before eating. Even dressing in pajamas at bedtime makes it easier to fall asleep if it has become a ritual.

Adults know that the child should rest, so they send him to bed no later than ten in the evening. Well, if this ritual is invariably observed, then the mere mention of bedtime creates a calm, pacifying mood. You should not allow your child to violate the regime for good behavior. In this case, going to bed will be perceived by him as a punishment. Sleepy baby in the morning will be easily excitable, moody, will not be able to concentrate on classes.

In addition to the health benefits and susceptibility to knowledge, there are rituals that are equally important for raising children.

Part 1

Inspire confidence

A child loves to live in a predictable world. When waking up, know that your breakfast will be your favorite pancakes. When leaving school he will be met by a smile of mother. At six o’clock in the evening dad will return from work. At eight in the evening cartoons will be shown on TV.

When there are no strict rules in the family, and life is built on surprises, the child tries to get support by introducing his own rituals. Over time, they can turn into obsessive habits. Example? Drink only from your own mug, cause a scandal due to the fact that your favorite shirt is in the wash, and in the new one he will not do anything.

Reasonable Habits

The daily ritual of morning water procedures should become uncontested. Also, washing hands before eating, after going to the toilet, after a walk. Brushing teeth in the morning and evening.

Even if you are late, you should not allow your child to abolish these procedures.Just one indulgence, and in the future without adult supervision, rest assured that no one will do anything.

If the father in the vehicle gives way to a woman or elderly people and teaches this son, this habit of a well-mannered person will become automatic for him, and not under duress.

The family should have rules that are respected by everyone: do not drink milk or juice from the bag, do not grab the pieces before dinner, do not start eating until all the household members have sat down and much more. It all starts with the family.

Painless adaptation to new stages of life

Admission to kindergarten, school, moving is accompanied by stress for the child. You can come up with small rituals that will create positive emotions.

For example, on the way to a kindergarten, go into a cafe and drink a milkshake. On the bus, allow yourself to pay for the trip. In the evening, the child can see off the day by striking out the dates on the calendar.

Nurture patience

Five working days should be perceived by the child as working days. Waiting for the weekend, which will take place the long-awaited trip to the zoo or a family dinner in the cafe, helps to be more collected all week.

Small victories and new knowledge are dedicated to the upcoming weekend. The anticipation of relaxation helps to become patient, it is easier to survive temporary setbacks and difficulties in adulthood.

The child must understand that with his own labor and good behavior he creates for himself a joyful well-deserved rest. Daily activities eventually lose their relevance and are perceived with boredom.

Traditions for life

Every adult has pleasant memories originating in childhood. Often they are associated with family traditions.

Prepare gifts for March 8 with dad for mom and grandmother. To decorate the Christmas tree with the whole family for the New Year. Celebrate the annual holiday of a summer residence celebrated only by you. Even the recipe for great-grandmother's cakes is carefully transmitted from elders to younger ones.

These are the bonds given by parents to a future young family.

Organization and composure

Often in families you can see on the walls a wide variety of graphs, tables, colorful calendars. Such visual agitation helps the child to get used to perform the necessary actions. For example, the fun chain of steps shown in the figure will not let the kid forget the order of the morning toilet.

Just by looking at a thematic home-made watch, the child will remember the time to do homework or the need to wash the dishes.

In the hallway it is useful to hang a vivid list of what should be in the student's portfolio. Looking at him, the child will check if he has forgotten what.

A tradition may be the marking of birthdays and holidays on the calendar when a new month approaches. The kid will be able to prepare for them ahead of time.

Rituals are not dogma

There are no rules that are never violated. On vacation, outdoors, in special situations, the performance of certain rituals ceases. It is right. Rituals and traditions should organically enter the lives of children. Their unconditional implementation borders on fanaticism.

These rare digressions only attract the baby to the usual rules, as to the guarantors of stability and tranquility.

Part 2

Children are often lovers of constancy. It is stability that inspires confidence in them. They are calm, if they know exactly what and how will happen. It’s great when in such a diverse, slightly frightening and volatile world, there is something that always remains constant. It has a calming effect, it allows you to maintain a normal psycho-emotional state. The constant becomes a kind of base, a reference point from which you can build on and continue to move forward, development. It is interesting that just the changing life of the child, the transition to another environment, the team, further increase the value of something that remains constant. After all, the guys have to go to kindergarten, and then to school. Everything is connected with stresses, cardinal changes. In this regard, the importance of children's rituals is very great.They instill confidence in the child, bring stability and predictability to his life.

Most often, the unknown becomes the cause of experiences. Adults also strive to create some kind of illusion of stability, since it is not easy to survive in an ever-changing and unreliable world. Surrounding people and events put pressure on the psyche, human consciousness, constant transformations traumatize the nervous system. As a result, a person experiences psychological discomfort, is constantly in a state of stress. Adults create various substitutes for stability, its external manifestations: contracts, obligations with guarantees, insurance.

Children are not yet able to support themselves with such official papers that replace stability. But young members of society have their own rituals to help them adapt, to live normally. Here's what children's rituals can be:

• Some babies can safely part with their mothers, once in kindergarten, only after they wave their hand in the window;
• Many children like to ask to read one fairy tale before going to bed;
• Often, babies fall asleep more easily if they prepare for bed in the prescribed order, performing the usual actions;
• Almost every child has a favorite toy, a kind of totem, which always lies with him in the crib;
• Someone comes up with their own ways to say goodbye, say hello to a meeting.

We give specific examples from the lives of children!

Rituals of children: real examples

Rituals are closely related to the concepts of rhythm and daily routine. Many arise on their own, while others are deliberately set by parents. They may be different, but they are united by one thing - they help make our day useful, effective and enjoyable.

Watching the program “Good night, kids!”, Brushing your teeth, bathing, reading your favorite book, singing a lullaby, dressing in familiar pajamas, drinking milk or water, falling asleep with a pacifier, laying toys to sleep, wishing good night are all examples of children's rituals before sleep.

According to the famous doctor Komarovsky, already from the beginning of the performance of these rituals, “the work of the nervous system, and respiration, and blood circulation begin to change, and it is literally 15-20 minutes that it works and the child falls asleep.”

It is interesting to consider specific rituals for children that have become traditional in families:

• When Dima said goodbye to her mother in kindergarten, she showed him a funny monkey face in the window. And the baby laughed joyfully every time. As a result, not only Dima himself, but all the other guys from the group with a smile escorted his mother, his parents. And the fact that they remain in the kindergarten was already associated with something kind, good, fun. So say goodbye easier!
• Nikita and his dad shook hands, then touched their fists. Then both could only show a thumb and say: “Everything will be like that!”
• Sit on Mom’s lap, kiss on the cheek goodbye, hug, say “Don’t forget!” and finally, wave your hand through the window - children often use such rituals while staying in kindergarten
• Maxim is used to having his mother kiss him on the cheeks every day, wish him a good day and declare his love.
• As a child, when my grandmother brought me to kindergarten, she always said goodbye - "be a good girl." I carefully fulfilled this wish-instruction, but once we and the guys from kindergarten did something and then, remembering that my grandmother forgot to remind me of good behavior, I told her when I met you you didn’t tell me “be a good girl !! ! So I wasn’t ...
• Drink water twice before bedtime; return from the elevator to the door to kiss mom in the morning on the way to the garden; press the elevator button yourself; watch cartoons before evening exercises and so on and so forth.
• We have a ritual story before bedtime tales about Little Red Riding Hood, and then maybe other tales, but about the hat is sacred ... Well, look at it, then wash is also always, this is a ritual of going to bed, it has always been like that.
• We have our own cups. Try to just pour it into another!
• We now basically only have the rituals of going to bed (a big boy already), we need to check if the closet is closed, if there are any gaps between the curtains, kiss mom “everywhere, everywhere” (forehead, nose, both cheeks, chin, neck) then exchange dreams and wishing good night and pleasant dreams after turning off the light and closing the door to his room, be sure to shout “I love you”
• My kids only have a ritual of farewell in the kindergarten. With sons, we must send each other a kiss and catch him, and with our daughters it’s fun, a whole sequence of kisses. First she told me: cheek-nose-cheek-forehead, and then I waved her and a pen.
• An interesting tradition has developed in the family of Lesha. When he was in kindergarten for the first time and did not want to part with his mother, she decided to distract him by reading the menu. The woman began to retell the menu in detail, comment on different dishes. The next day, the boy himself asked his mother to read the menu. The child subconsciously feared that his mother would not return after him. And after reading the menu she came for him. The boy decided that his mother would come back for him again in the evening, if now, as yesterday, he would read the menu. And so the ritual developed. Lesha didn’t want to let mommy go until she reads the menu. This tradition protected him from fear of remaining in the kindergarten for good.

I made these observations and became interested in rituals. We installed many rituals in the kindergarten, reinforcing them with all the regimen moments.

Before lunch, everyone in unison wished for a pleasant appetite, and then threw up their hands. Children said together that they would eat and grow up “Like that”.

When the guys came to the kindergarten from a walk, it was necessary to count the shoulder blades. After all, it is necessary to find out if the shovels have not lost, whether they have collected everything.

Before going to bed, I “conjured” each baby for good dreams. It was enough to hold hands over the baby’s head, say “Magic spell”, and then carefully blow it on the forehead so that the child falls asleep calmly. After all, he already believed in the magical power of the ritual! Therefore, I fell asleep with pleasure.

Thus, it was with the help of all kinds of rituals in the kindergarten group that a special comfortable atmosphere was created, and the kids were noticeably easier to go through the adaptation phase in kindergarten / team, unusual environment, accustomed to new tasks, responsibilities and lifestyle.

Do you want the child to always feel good, his psychological state was stable? Then start creating your own rituals! They play a huge role in the baby’s life: they help to program his mind, calm the nervous system, and support in any situation. Then, when your baby grows up, he will fondly recall his children's rituals.

Please note that already accepted rituals must be carefully observed. I know many cases when children fell into a real panic if the rituals were violated. For example, if a child has forgotten his favorite toy that constantly accompanies him in the kindergarten, you must return home after it. When a girl is accustomed to falling asleep in a kindergarten exclusively in blue pajamas, one does not need to bring her another. This will cause stress. When dad accidentally forgot to wave his son in the window, the baby was terribly struck and upset. Remember this! Performing children's rituals carefully, constantly, is extremely important. Do not think that this is a whim. It is precisely such family traditions that make it possible to maintain a good emotional state of babies.

I remember my childhood ritual, thanks to which I was not afraid to fall asleep. Before that, I was always afraid that after sleep, when I woke up, I would be in another place. After all, unknown monsters can steal me while I sleep, I thought. Fear of night monsters fettered me, prevented me from falling asleep. But these monsters were afraid of my toy dog. Tresor bravely guarded me from the monsters every night, and in the morning I always gratefully kissed his nose.

Children's rituals sometimes get an unexpected continuation when the kids are already growing up.I was 17 years old, I had to go to a foreign city in order to start studying at the institute there. And now I'm on the doorstep, and in my hands is a bag with a ticket. My mom was worried about how I would get a new place, one, very young girl. Suddenly, my mother ran to the nursery, and returned already with the same Trezor. She said I forgot my beloved plush dog. I decided to leave him on purpose, considering myself an adult. But now the toy was already becoming a guarantee of my mother’s peace. And mother became less worried when her already adult daughter went to college with a stuffed dog in her bag. Children's ritual helped her restore emotional balance. And Trezor became my mascot again! Before exams, I kissed his nose again.

Psychologists unanimously argue that with the help of ordered behavior, the child understands the structure of the world, so the boundaries of behavior are established and self-awareness comes. In addition, children's rituals make the child more confident. Indeed, the exact observance of certain actions always leads to a predictable and well-known result.

Think, maybe you will remember your rituals.

Dr. Komarovsky tells why and what kind of rituals should be performed with a child before bedtime: