Sometimes adults hear questions from children that they don’t know whether to laugh or blush ... and which are pretty hard to find the right answer. Parents are in turmoil, and the child is waiting to hear the answer as soon as possible. Children are used to trusting adults; it is important for them to receive truthful answers to their questions. Do not deceive the child, do not laugh at his naivety and do not disregard his questions.
We have collected the most common questions of children and selected the right answers to them.
1. How did I appear?
Tell your child the truth, avoiding the “naughty” details.
“Mom and Dad are a family, they hug and kiss to show each other their love. Dad shares with his mother his cell, which connects with my mother. And then in the mother’s tummy a baby appears. He is very small and looks like a fish that swims inside his mother. Every day he becomes more and more. And when it grows so much that it ceases to fit in my mother’s tummy, he is born into the light. ” More adult children can be told about female eggs and male sperm.
On this subject, it will be useful to read the book “How I was born” by Katerina Janusz.
We also read: How to explain to the child where the children come from
2. Why do boys “there” have one, and girls have another?
Interest in the structure of the genital organs is shown by all children, this is completely natural. Try to overcome embarrassment and tell your child about the characteristics of boys and girls.
“Girls and boys are different. So it was conceived by nature so that other babies could be born. Girls have a vagina and a uterus, in which a future baby appears. And in boys - testicles and penis. Boys and girls grow up, they get married and want to have children. They are connected as two pieces from a designer or a puzzle, and then a child appears inside her mother. ”
3. Will I marry my mother when I grow up?
This is a fairly popular question that children ask during their first interest in the opposite sex. Answer no, but be sure to explain why.
“The family is a small world where everyone has their own role. Your dad cannot become your brother, and your sister cannot become your mother. And you cannot become a mother’s husband, because your mother already has a husband - and this is your dad.When you grow up and want to get married, mom will already be old. And you will definitely find yourself another wife - young and beautiful. And you will have your own children. ”
4. Why are you fighting?
The child subconsciously feels guilty over the quarrels of the parents. It is very important to show the baby that he is mistaken, and to make it clear that he is not to blame for anything.
“All people sometimes quarrel. Both adults and children. This is because each person has his own opinion, and it happens that it does not coincide with the opinion of another. But there is nothing to worry about. But we will definitely make peace, because we love each other. And each of us loves you. ”
5. Why is this aunt so fat?
Do not scold or shout at the child if on the street he will point you to a person standing out from the crowd. Calmly and gently explain to the baby why this should not be done.
"All people are different. They can be thin or thick, tall or short. And some people may be sick, and therefore they are also different from the rest. You can’t point fingers at people who are not like others. It can be very annoying. You can ask me about this later, when we are alone, you don’t want to offend anyone? ”
6. Who do you love more: me or my brother (sister)?
When a family has several children, they always vie for the attention and affection of their parents. Never set children as an example to each other. Never tell a child that you love his sister or brother more - this can cause jealousy and will not lead to anything good.
“Yes, you are different, and our love can manifest itself in different ways. But we love both of you equally as much as you love Mom and Dad. Both of you are very dear to me. ”
We also read: My mum! Only mine! - or a few words about child jealousy
7. Will the doctor hurt me?
Many children are afraid of doctors. No need to shame them or call them little cowards. Explain to your child that you must be treated.
“The doctor is not at all angry, he does not want to harm you. On the contrary, he fights diseases and harmful microbes so that children can be healthy. It may be a little painful, but we need to be patient if we want to triumph over sores. I was sick too, and the doctor gave me injections. Yes, it was scary, but I managed to overcome my fear. And you will succeed. You can take a teddy bear with you. Look, he also feels bad, and he needs to see a doctor. Let’s help him not to be afraid and tell us which doctor is kind and good. ”
We also read: The child is afraid of doctors: advice from psychologists and experienced mothers how to help children get rid of fear
8. Will I die? And you?
Do not lie to the child and say that we will live forever. Aging and death is a natural process. Explain to the child why this is inevitable.
“All life ever dies: plants, animals and people, too. So conceived by nature, and we are not able to change this. This is necessary so that everyone who is born has enough space on the planet. The time will come, and we will die too. But it will not be very soon. You will have time to grow very large, even bigger than us. And we will become as old as grandparents, and then we will not be. You will have your own family, children. Your children will grow big. And someday, after a very, very many years, you too will grow old. But until that moment you will live a very long, beautiful and cheerful life. ”
On this subject, you can read the work “Book of Death” by Pernilla Stalfelt.
9. Why are you leaving me and going to work?
Tell your child that your work is a need to come to terms with. Try to focus the child's attention on the feeling of joy from a long-awaited meeting.
“It’s also very difficult for me to leave you and go to work, but there is such a word“ need ”, and nothing can be done about it. All adults must work, it is very important. And in the evening we will be together again, and we will be very, very happy. Do you want us to change things with you so that it’s not so sad? I will give you my keychain, and you can give me your toy. And from afar we will feel each other. ”
We also read:The child does not let his mother go a step away: what to do?
10. Why can't I do this, but can you?
Do not idealize yourself in the eyes of a child. It is important to teach him to understand that not all actions of parents are worthy of imitation.
“Yes, baby, I smoke and sometimes stay up late at the computer, but I understand that this is bad and I don’t want you to do the same and repeat my mistakes. This is a very bad habit, and it is difficult to get rid of it. But I’ll definitely figure out how to deal with it, because I want to become better. ”
11. What if the monster from under the bed eats me?
Do not mock the child; take his fears seriously. Offer to look together for a way to defeat monsters.
“Tell me about your monster. What is it like? What do you think, maybe you should cast a spell on him? Let's come up with a spell to expel monsters together! Or, look, this old TV remote is magical! You just need to click on this magical red button, and all the monsters will immediately disappear. Let's put it under your pillow so that it is always there. ”
Rules for answering children's questions
- The child expects a simple answer from you to your question. He does not need to know more than he asked. Do not go deep, answer as easy as possible.
- Do not lie. If you do not know how to answer the question, tell the child and offer to look for the answer together. Such an approach will only strengthen your authority, but a lie, on the contrary, will destroy it. When a child learns the truth from someone, you will have to explain to him why you lied.
- Talk with your children on equal terms, do not speak down, do not speak in an instructive tone. Do not scoff, take your child seriously. After all, you want him to continue to come up to you with his questions.
- Learn to see what is hidden - look deeper. With the help of a question, a child can unconsciously ask for your help or tell you about his fears. Try to understand what your child really expects from you.
We also read:
- Awkward kids questions - how to answer
- Top 10 children's questions that perplex parents (and how to answer them). Part 1
- The child found you in the bedroom for an "interesting occupation." What to do and how to find the right words?
- Age of “Why” or 100 thousand “Why ..? And why..?"
- How to explain to the child where the children come from
- Video: How to answer children's questions about sex, death, smoking and drugs
Video plot: How to correctly answer awkward questions of a child
Attitude towards children has changed. To tell the truth to their questions today is considered the norm, not like in our time, when the word “pregnant” was uttered in a whisper with children. And the questions of modern kids are also completely different, because they know more and have an idea of many things on a par with adults.
My son just recently asked a question: How did I appear? I said that dad has a seed, and mom has a cell in her tummy. When they met, you began to grow in my tummy, and then, when I grew a little, I was born from the tummy. Everything, that was quite enough! I would have told something else, but the son, satisfied, went away to play toys)