6 worst tips you can give your mom in postpartum depression

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The baby was born. The family and especially the mother should be happy, because the most difficult is behind. But in reality, a woman is faced with emotional devastation. Let's see what words do not need to be said during the period of postpartum depression (PD)? How do loved ones exacerbate the state of a newly-minted mother, improperly supporting her?

Postpartum depression occurs in approximately 50% of women, in 13% it occurs in severe form.

Postpartum Depression - painful condition of a woman after childbirth, characterized by a depressed mood, tearfulness, unwillingness to see her baby, reversible mental disorders. In most cases, PD is not very pronounced, but in severe cases, the mother may even have a desire to kill herself or the child. Such women require treatment in special institutions.

What Mothers Don't Have to Postpartum Depression: 6 Worst Tips

But do you need support for a person in the state of PD? Indeed, over time, depression disappears on its own, but this does not mean that you want to leave your loved one unattended. Moreover, one should not perceive complaints and mood decline as weakness and nagging, like what is observed in adolescents. It is important to understand what is happening normally. The family can only help the young mother until the body and psyche come back to normal.

Attention! A woman during PD can think about suicide, get angry with a child. Some even want to throw the baby out of the window. After a while, people are horrified by their thoughts. They begin to consider themselves unworthy of being mothers, which exacerbates depression.

Support from loved ones is good, but not everyone knows how to properly provide it. Let's look at the worst phrases that a woman in postpartum depression should not say.

1. "Get yourself together, stop crying, bear with me. What other depression? It’s just whims and whim. ”

Typically, the advice to "pull yourself together" come from the older generation - mothers, mother-in-law and grandmothers. Like, in their time this was not. It was, it was! And this glaring absurdity that can be heard from mothers and grandmothers who went through the same thing! In fact, they either simply forgot the bad, or it is still so fresh in memory that some have a subconscious desire to take revenge, working on the principle of "I had, and you must experience."Such a misunderstanding only strengthens the mother’s guilt and provokes the following thoughts: “I am a bad mother”, “I am not capable of anything”.

Remember: postpartum depression is not a whim! This is a powerful hormonal restructuring of the body, a great stress for the psyche caused by a new role - and just like that, “pulling yourself together” will not work.

How right? say: "Dear, poor thing, you are so tired, but you are well done." Help with cleaning and other household chores.

2. "Do not worry, everything will pass"

It is better not to give obvious advice that is unable to help a person. Imagine, they say to the president that people live poorly, and he replies: "Don’t worry, everything will pass." Remember the real phrase that caused a storm of hatred and still remains relevant: "There is no money, but you ..." - it was a huge mistake. We can’t say when it will pass, why we don’t have to worry, because it doesn’t get any easier from such simple and banal advice.

How right? Do not touch this topic. Postpartum depression disappears in 3 and 360 days, as it flows into apathy and melancholy. Even psychics from the TV do not guess the exact date.

3. “Occupy yourself with something, distract. Why are you so sad? Go develop! ”

Firstly, I don’t want to “dispel” at all - constant apathy, drowsiness somehow do not favor shopping with friends. And secondly, please tell me, what other “outings” when a baby is in her arms? Go out for an hour and constantly be distracted by the calls of a frightened dad left with the crumbs? And then also to listen from your mother-in-law, what kind of “cuckoo” you are - just gave birth and already rushed off for a walk.

A new mother feels responsible for the child. She doesn’t want to leave the baby. Walking and visiting public places alone is excluded, and taking a child with you is unusual, scary.

How right? On the street and into the light, a young mother needs to go out with her husband, mother-in-law, friends. Not to leave mom alone is your main task.

4. “Take care of yourself, find a hobby”

Here's a tip so a tip. And without that, the reflection in the mirror does not please, and then a friend also hints to sign up for the gym - which means that it’s really bad. You try to get into the measured jeans, and then sadly go to the refrigerator - and what to lose, one asks? It is not up to good emotions. This is the same as saying: “After childbirth you became so scary that even the cats under the window stopped singing.” It is also not worth offering to find a hobby, since a mother who has just given birth and is suffering from postpartum depression is not up to it, it is good if she can only comb her hair and wash in the evening.

How right? Tell your mom that she does well, even better than others. “You're done, I admire. Lenka, Dasha and Zhazgulka didn’t make half of what you do. Do not exhaust yourself, otherwise you will become too good a mother, and we will envy you. ”

5. "It happens even worse, you are still lucky ..."

Great, now we scared our mom. It turns out that tomorrow it can get worse. Let's finish it by opening the page of the medical guide and reading out the symptoms that appear in 0.2% of individuals - hallucinations, manic ideas, suicidal tendencies. This should encourage a person to show that he is better than the rest. Not.

Particularly compassionate friends can tell on the topic of postpartum depression a couple of horror films from the series "one woman in this state jumped out of the window." After such horror stories, the likelihood of developing a phobia is high - a young mother will begin to fear that she, too, will certainly be overtaken by the same fate.

How right? A woman in postpartum depression is not up to the others. She is fixated on self. Any negative example is immediately transferred to itself. We say only positive, tolerate.

6. “Drink a pill, she’s helped Masha perfectly”

Perhaps the most dangerous advice. Never recommend any medications, even if they seem like a panacea to you. And also never take medications recommended by friends or the ubiquitous Internet.All medicines - only as prescribed by the doctor! It is dangerous to joke with psychotropic drugs: sometimes what is suitable for one person can cause the opposite effect in another.

This is the worst advice. Antidepressants can lead to suicide. Therefore, drug treatment is permissible only when prescribed by a doctor.

Summary

Uncertainty, self-flagellation, low self-esteem - the main emotions. We should work like a good motivation coach, talking only about the positive aspects, since any negative is perceived by the mother at her own expense. The word "be patient" is excluded from the lexicon.

What helps?

Healthy sleep is the most important detail. You need to sleep at any convenient time, rest too. Laziness is the best friend at this time;
The proximity of the husband - a woman feels abandoned and unnecessary. It must be proved that this is not so;
Conversations with other mothers - in life and on sites, his company, which shares a common pain, understands like no other.

That's all you need to know. Note, there are no mothers who would not return to normal after a certain time. See how beautiful, cheerful and happy people are raising a younger generation. Having recently given birth, you know, you will be the same. If you are a relative, husband or close friend, often talk about good things that are detached from the topic of experiences.

We also read:

Postpartum Depression: Myth or Reality?

Postpartum depression - is it really a serious condition of the body and spirit or just an invention of hysterical mothers who do not know how to control themselves? What are the causes of postpartum depression and how to avoid it?

Irina 04/08/2018 at 09:58

The first months after the birth of a child I remember how in a dream, it was very difficult, constant lack of sleep, hormones still raged. Although I didn’t have such advisers, which are mentioned in the article. Unless my husband sometimes did not understand, and it made me very angry. Then she began to sleep with her baby during the day, joined a group of young mothers, and finally I was released.
Maria 04/09/2018 at 14:27

And I was saved by small joys, for example, the purchase of some little things. It’s not necessary to become a shopaholic and spend a lot of money on yourself, for example, just buy yourself a beautiful elastic band for hair, ice cream, new socks, finally, I was very pleased.