Mom in our life is the dearest and closest person, especially for a girl, mom should also become a mentor and best friend. And for this, the mother herself needs to know how to behave with her daughter so that the baby in the future becomes a real woman. We invite mothers to familiarize themselves with the 8 main rules that will help in communicating with their daughter.
Rule number 1. Play with your daughter!
No time? This is just an excuse! For your own child, it should always be. In addition, you have an amazing opportunity to remember your childhood and play long-forgotten games: daughters - mothers, roll dolls in a stroller, swaddle dolls "classics", cook sandwiches from sand or a salad of plastic vegetables. Or maybe jump over the rubber band. A fact has long been known: joint games bring people together. Even many team building programs (team building) are built by psychologists on the basis of games. If we talk about the emotional intimacy that necessarily arises during the game, then it is a good basis for harmonious relationships.
Rule number 2. Education - first of all!
Spoiled children - this is unpleasant for others, but for parents - just a disaster. That is why if you, as a mother, do not want to see your daughter as a selfish woman who does not have real friends (who wants to be friends with such a friend!), You do not want her to be a member of any unpleasant troubles, you have no choice but to be strict in education. What does it mean to be strict? It's pretty simple: stop attacks tantrums, do not allow to manipulate oneself, be sure to tell what is good and what is bad. However, this is not all. An important point is vigilant observation of grandparents, who quite often do not know the measure. What is this expressed in? In a large number of gifts, permissiveness, fulfillment of any whims of granddaughters. It is the grandmothers who carry the granddaughter in their arms and feed from a spoon until the institute. Therefore, do not forget that the fruits of this will have to reap, first of all, parents.
Rule number 3. Do not transfer your life experience to your daughter
Children are like parents, but they grow up at a different time, in different conditions. It must be remembered that they are already personalities from the diapers, and they are absolutely unique. That is why it is not worth endlessly recalling your life experience, of course, except for those situations that can save your daughter from danger. If you didn’t want to go to kindergarten and rolled up tantrums in the morning, then your daughter will probably be happy to attend kindergarten.And this will not be a daily problem. If at a transitional age you “burned” on unrequited love and were difficult to get out of a state of depression, this does not mean that your girl will repeat this bitter situation. Therefore, think carefully before you forbid the girl to skate, because you broke your leg just like that in your childhood, or refuse her requests to go to music school, because “but my parents gave me away, so now I can’t see the violin ". So, think a few times before banning anything for the baby just because your experience was not very successful.
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Rule number 4. Trust - yes, deceit - no!
It’s great if the daughter can tell mom about almost everything. This is an ideal mother who will not read notations, swear and scream when guilt has already come to her daughter. It will not puke, criticize and ridicule your feelings and thoughts. Such a mother will not talk down on the girl’s feelings, make fun of them and call them “children’s”, which will soon pass; she will not tell her daughter's secrets to anyone, not even her grandmother or best friend, because this is their secret! She will take your feelings seriously and give practical advice if you ask her. Why hide something from such a mom? This is an ideal picture of relationships, but it often happens that distrust and falsehood become an insurmountable obstacle in the relationship between children and parents. Avoid this!
Rule number 5. Teach your daughter to help around the house
It is wonderful when a woman is a real keeper of the hearth. She cooks with pleasure, there is always order and comfort in the house. This should be taught daughter from an early age. No doubt, it’s faster and easier to do everything yourself, and take my daughter in cartoons or offer some other interesting activity, if only she wouldn’t spin under her feet. However, let's look into the future: will your daughter’s husband be grateful that she does not know how to do anything at home or does something like that? Therefore, it is better to teach your daughter home help. At the age of 2 to 3 years, children want to help and imitate adults in everything, so do not miss this moment.
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Rule number 6. Create the image of an ideal man
You can’t argue that a woman shows all her best feminine qualities thanks to men. The task of the mother is to educate her daughter in the correct idea of what a real man should be. However, the main thing here is not to go too far - the existing image must correspond to reality, otherwise if you hit perfectionism, you risk raising a princess who will wait all her life for a prince on a white horse. If she has authority among the male half of relatives (most often this is dad, grandfather or older brother), then you should avoid criticizing this person in the presence of your daughter, and not speak out negatively about him. Phrases like: "Do not repeat my mistakes, do not mess with someone like your father!" can inflict severe psychological trauma on your daughter.
Rule number 7. Do not mix roles
There are mothers who try so hard to become friends for their daughters that they begin to do stupid things. They either fall into a deep childhood, or they “drag” a small daughter into an adult circle, for example, take them to adult parties. Another minus in the mother’s behavior is the requirement from the daughter of a full account of her life. Nothing good will come of it. Give your daughter the opportunity to have her secrets and share them with her friends, her hobbies, free time at last. Remember that the role of the daughter’s mother is special: the mother is a friend, counselor, teacher and mentor. Do not abandon these roles.
Rule number 8. Emotional contact is a must!
Even boys are important manifestations of parental love, care and support. What can we say about girls! Be gentle with your daughter, hug more and kiss more, smile at each other, lie in bed together - such moments will tell about your love better than any words.
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I noticed that I am often too lazy to play with my daughter, she is 1.7 months old, it’s easier for me to do something, but she runs around. I know that this is wrong, I will try to pay more attention to this. I also want to eventually attract my daughter to household chores, otherwise my mother did not accustom me to conducting households at the time, and because of this I suffered a lot in my time.