Surely every parent at least once faced with children's tantrums. They appear, it seems, for no reason and end just as suddenly, but they cause a lot of excitement to all adults. Is it possible to prevent the onset of an emotional explosion in a child? What if the baby has a tantrum? The advice of a child psychologist will help tired parents cope with such problems and bring harmony to family life.
Causes of tantrum in children of different ages
In order to learn how to cope with hysteria attacks in children of different ages, you must first find out their causes.
Tantrums in a 2-year-old child
A two year old child often resorts to tantrums to attract additional attention from adults. In his arsenal are several effective ways: loud screams, stubbornness, rolling on the floor in places where there is an audience. Psychologists say that such behavior is natural for a small child due to the imperfection of his emotional system. He still cannot express his indignation in words if the parents refuse or forbid something to do something.
At this age, the baby is already starting to separate himself from adults, and is also actively exploring the world around him. However, all sorts of restrictions stand in his way, designed to ensure his safety on the street and at home.
The vagaries of a two-year-old child are often a reflection of their own physical condition: fatigue, hunger, or lack of sleep. Perhaps the excess of new experiences overworked the baby. To calm him down, sometimes it’s enough just to grab onto the hands, pat on the head to distract from the situation that caused hysterical behavior.
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Admission to preschool, the birth of a younger brother or sister in the family and the divorce of parents can also cause fits of hysteria. In order to get rid of stress, the baby begins to bang his feet, scatter toys and scream loudly.
Another reason for "bad" behavior may be excessive parental strictness. In this case, the tantrum appears as a desire to oppose such a style of education and to defend their own independence.
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Tantrums in a 3-year-old child
Especially bright tantrums that appear, it would seem, out of the blue, are noticeable at three years old. This period, which in psychology is called a crisis of three years, in all children it is expressed differently, but negativism, self-will and extreme obstinacy are considered the main symptoms. Yesterday, the obedient baby does the opposite today: strips off when he is wrapped up more warmly, runs away when his name is.
Frequent tantrums at this age are not explained by a desire to anger parents, but by the usual inability to compromise and express their desires. Having obtained the necessary thing with the help of whims, the child will continue to manipulate adults to achieve their own goals.
By the age of four, hysterical attacks usually disappear by themselves, since the baby can already express his feelings in words.
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Tantrums in a child 4-5 years old
Vagaries and tantrums in children over four years of age are often the result of educational failures of parents. Everyone is allowed to the child, he knows about the existence of the word "no" only by hearsay. Even if mom does not allow it, you can always turn to dad or grandmother.
The constant hysterical behavior of a 4-year-old child can be a serious bell that indicates the presence of problems with the nervous system. If the baby behaves aggressively during a tantrum, causes damage to itself and others, holds its breath or faints, after an attack there is vomiting, lethargy or fatigue, then you should consult a neurologist.
If the baby is in good health, it means that the causes of moods and tantrums lie in the family and the reactions of loved ones to his behavior.
Important:2 types of tantrums in children and the correct reaction of parents
How to prevent a tantrum
The best way to deal with hysteria is to prevent it. And although psychologists say that all children go through these attacks, you can try to reduce the frequency and severity of emotional outbreaks.
- Keep your daily routine. Young children and preschoolers feel safe when they adhere to a clearly established regimen. Hunger and drowsiness are probably the most common causes of tantrum. They can be avoided if you follow the usual daily schedule for going to bed and eating.
- Prepare your child for change. Be sure to warn him well before major changes, such as the first day of kindergarten. By giving your baby time to adapt, you will reduce the likelihood of hysteria attacks.
- Be firm. If the child feels that he can influence your decisions with the help of tantrums, he will continue to manipulate you to achieve his goal. Make sure he knows: you make firm decisions and don’t change your mind in response to bad behavior.
- Review your bans. Before denying your baby a request, ask yourself if your ban is really necessary. Why don't your son have a bite if dinner is delayed? You can avoid tantrums by simply making him a sandwich. Do not apply the rules just for the sake of the rules, review the prohibitions.
- Provide a choice. Since two years, the peanut has achieved greater autonomy. Offer him a simple choice so that he feels like an independent person. For example, offer your child a choice between oatmeal and cornflakes for breakfast. Just don’t ask such a question as: “What would you like to eat?” You run the risk of getting a completely unnecessary answer. Ask: “Will you eat cereal or cereal?”
- Pay more attention. For a child, even poor attention is better than none. Make sure you spend enough time and respond to his basic needs for love and affection.
We look how to stop children's tantrums
If the tantrum has already begun ...
If the baby is capricious, distract him, find out what he is dissatisfied with, try to eliminate the cause of his dissatisfaction. However, the distraction method only works when the tantrum is just beginning. What to do if the child has already entered an emotional rage?
- Make it clear that screams and screams do not affect you, they will not help change your mind.If the tantrum is not very strong, say: “Honey, say calmly what you need. I don’t understand you when you scream. ” If the hysterical attack is already strong, then you better leave the room. Talk to the baby when he calms down.
- Try to isolate the child at the peak of an emotional explosion. If this happens at home, then leave him alone in the nursery, and if on the street - take him to where there are no other children and adults.
- During the whims, always behave the same way so that the baby can understand that his behavior is ineffective.
- Explain how you can express your grievances in positive ways. From two years old, teach your child to use a description of emotions in his speech. For example, “I'm upset,” “I'm angry,” “I'm bored.”
- Watch your feelings. Young children are easily infected by other people's emotions. So your aggression can only aggravate the situation.
- Be patient. If tantrums have already become traditional for a child, do not expect everything to go right after the first time, when you leave the room and calmly explain everything to him. For the new model to gain a foothold, it will take some time.
Do not be afraid of tantrums in children, you need to learn to respond to them correctly. If you have already tried all the tips listed in our article, but still observe outbreaks of anger in your child, seek professional help.
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How to understand that a child is spoiled, and how to re-educate him
My daughter used to constantly throw tantrums; she could lie in the middle of the store and cry if something wasn’t bought, and that’s all the grandmother who spoiled the child. At first I bought, asked to calm down, and then I realized that ignore is the best assistant. I just take her out of the store and don't talk to her. Acts, for a long time there are no tantrums.
In my personal experience, childhood tantrum cannot be prevented at a time. My son was capricious for a long time just because he knew that when he begins to cry, everyone starts talking with him - this was my mistake. The behavior should be even, clear, so that the child understands that crying and hysteria does not make sense for nothing. This is the only way to avoid children's hysteria from scratch.
One way to prevent tantrums during the most “hysterical” period (3 years) is to start early communication with peers (albeit in the presence of adults, but not parents). The child early understands the aimlessness of tantrums and ceases to use them as a means to obtain the desired. My younger sister did not go to kindergarten, had little contact with other children, and tantrums lasted until about six years.The brother, who was sent to the nursery group very early, generally managed without a hysterical period.