Tears and crying are normal, especially for a child. This is a great way to relieve emotional stress when the baby is upset because of something, offended, sad or tired (see the reasons for crying) It is best to give the child plenty of tears to cry without stopping or prohibiting tears. However, sometimes long tears are not at all appropriate. For example, if a mother and her child ride in vehicles, or are in a crowded place, or are in a hurry, and there is no time for the child to cry quietly. In this case, it is better to prevent hysteria and try to “intercept” it in the very embryo. Mom to help - little tricks from big tantrums.
See article:Children's hysteria: psychologist's advice on how to deal with a child's hysteria
Little tricks from big tantrums
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- Come up with some serious matter for which you will have to wait a while. Act on the situation and improvise, for example: "Oh, the cloud has run in, there is no time to cry, we should run to the street soon, otherwise the rain will start and we won’t take a walk." The special value of this trick is that you do not prohibit the baby from crying and do not deny the importance of tears. The child feels that he is understood and accepted, and is ready to give in.
- Try to induce the child to consciousness during the “lacrimation”. For example, you can ask your baby to cry quietly so as not to wake the sleeping crib nearby in the stroller. If the child tries to fulfill the condition, then he really will not be able to cry anymore, he will whimper a bit and calm down. And the child is well: he outlined his emotions, and mom is happy: the tantrum did not take place.
- Sometimes a tantrum flares up precisely because the mother herself draws attention to her, so in some cases a tantrum can be prevented by simply ignoring it. True, it’s better to do this in some situations that have become typical. For example, if a baby always scandals about putting on a hat or sitting in a stroller, you can not wait for a protest, and at the “moment X” itself just distract the child for something (ask if you liked a cartoon or a fairy tale, what was the name of a hero, tell rhyme, specify what toys we take for a walk, etc.). In new and unknown situations, the mother’s indifference may not be correctly assessed by the child, because he really may need participation and support.
- If the child refuses to do something, play a fun rush with him, and do what you need under your fervent “go fast, quick, fast”: dress the child, take him out of the playground, etc. Toddlers usually do not have time to understand what is happening, how things have already been done and there is no longer reason for tears.
- The technique of “conspiring teeth” works well for babies, moreover, it is suitable even when the baby has already begun to scandal. The meaning of conspiracy is to “knock down” a child’s tearful mood with his monologue. It is necessary to speak and speak without ceasing: the baby will surely listen and subside.The most important thing is to speak emotionally and about something interesting for the child. For a few minutes, it is quite possible to keep the baby's attention, and there already the reason for tears will be forgotten.
- Try to drive away a bad mood with tickling, tingling, grimaces. The main thing is not to miss the moment while tantrum can still be prevented. If the baby is already crying - it is better not to take risks, because these attempts to make laugh on the contrary annoy even more.
- A very popular way is to switch the child’s attention to something interesting. The butterfly flew, the dog ran, the plane in the sky - anything can interest the baby. You can direct the attention of the baby to his own body and sensations: "It seems your eyelash has fallen out, guess which eye, and let's remove it so that it does not interfere with crying."
- If you couldn’t make out a butterfly or a dog, or if they were a figment of my mother’s imagination, you can use the real thing that will interest the baby. It would be nice if mom would always have an interesting toy or notebook with felt-tip pens on hand, or her favorite treat, which can quickly comfort a child. To work for sure, come up with a game: “Oh, and who is this in my bag squeaking and messing around? Wow - a kitten ”- and hand the toy to the baby.
- Show the child that you understand his feelings. If the baby is about to cry, start saying everything that he can feel: “You are upset that we did not buy you a toy. Mad at mom. It’s a shame for you: I wanted to play with a new machine, but we can’t buy it, ”etc. If the child sees that you understand and share his sadness with him, it will not make sense for him to report it through tears.
- Strong emotions can be helped to express not by tears, but by actions. For example, give your child a pillow that you can beat and kick, or a ball, or a toy-knocker on their planks and malleus. Read 10 games to overcome child aggression.
- Compose some ridiculous game-procedure for draining tears. For example, as soon as the child begins to cry - the mother turns on the hair dryer or fan (preferably a pocket one) and dries the tears (do not use this technique if the child is frightened by the sounds of household appliances). Or get a beautiful bag (glass) where mom will collect tears, and do not forget to give the task to cry a full glass or bag - trying to complete the task, the baby will be distracted from the cause of tears.
- Turning tears into a joke is possible not only by tickling, but also by words. Seeing that the baby is about to cry, portray surprise: “Oh, who is this in front of me? Where is my cheerful and smiling little son? Where am I going to look for him now? ” The main thing is that the child correctly understands your words and is not even more upset.
- Bring the child's complaints to the point of absurdity. The kid begins to cry, and you begin to assent to him and say: “Oh, you poor child! You don’t have any toys at all, they don’t let you go for walks, they don’t feed or drink water, they don’t give sweets, they don’t include cartoons ... ”Children 3-4 years old are immediately distracted from their tears, sometimes they can even argue, proving to their mother that it’s not so everything is bad - and we need it.
Further interesting:How to calm a crying child (31 tips. Part 2). + 5 steps according to the method of Harvey Carp
These tricks, depending on the situation and circumstances, can distract the child from tears and save the mother’s nerves. Only they need to be used really when necessary, and if possible, give the baby a cry in her mother’s arms. Yet: what parents should not do when the child is unbearable >>>
We also read: How to strengthen your bond with your child in 5 minutes
We look at what to do if the child has a tantrum. Parent Mistakes:
From my own experience I know that sometimes it’s useful for a child to cry, no matter how strange it may sound. In child psychology, there is such a phenomenon as hyper-custody. If there is too much “fussing” with the child and not letting him out of the hands - the child becomes very spoiled and non-independent! I don’t think what you want for your child. Let the child sometimes sometimes “overpay” himself, at least occasionally, than later on become independent and unassembled!
I have an effective way, to distract from tears for something else. Or explain that the reason for crying is not worth it. Usually always helps. The wife usually manages to ignore. All other methods are not used.