Children's manipulation is sometimes so perfect that parents only have to be surprised and remember when and where their child has so skillfully learned to manage them. Indeed, when the children really want something very much, they throw all their energy into achieving what they want. Let's see how a child can manipulate adults, so as not to fall for the tricks of a little sly man.
We represent the 10 most successful children's phrases, having heard that even the most strict parents imperceptibly follow their own child’s.
- "I feel bad"
Mom or grandmother looks in horror at a thermometer (sometimes heated on a battery), selects a seemingly assembled briefcase, puts it in bed and feeds it with delicious raspberry jam. Or, if the child is small, does not let go into the kindergarten, bears several kilometers on his hands, because the crumbs have “legs are tired, the tummy hurts”. And so she sits near the "loosened" child and strokes his head, although half an hour ago he warned him about a serious conversation and a ban on watching cartoons.
What to do?
Pay more attention and time so that the child does not have to cheat on you. Some parents go to the doctor. So either the "insidious plan" will be revealed, or the doctor will detect and cure a real disease (suddenly the baby is not lying?). If such performances are encouraged, there is a chance that someday the child will actually injure himself so that his parents take care of him.
- "It's not my fault!"
Of course not him. This cat broke her mother’s beloved mug, this little brother cut a tablecloth, this neighbor boy broke a window in a store, this classmate pulled Irishka for a pigtail, etc. Most often, the child puts the blame on others to avoid punishment. Such behavior in the future may deprive him of respect and friendship. Who wants to talk to a cheater?
What to do?
Explain to the baby that you can be trusted and confessed to your misconduct. Therefore, do not create an atmosphere of terror and parental arbitrariness at home, then the child will never have fear of parental punishment. After a sincere confession, be sure to appreciate his honesty and explain why this act was bad. We also read:To punish or not a child for accidental misconduct?
- "Please, please, please!"
A very famous children's trick used by a small manipulator to put pressure on impressionable parents and get what is needed here and now - a toy, phone, computer. Usually the word "please" is accompanied by huge eyes full of tears, or even tantrums in crowded places, for example, in a toy store.
What to do?
If the child is small, try switching his attention to another subject.Explain to your older child that you don’t change your mind: “First you will do homework and then sit down at the computer.” If you give up, the children will immediately understand that they won, and you will hear many more times: “Please !!!”
- “I will live with my grandmother!”
Such threats are designed to force parents to change their minds. Another option, “I'll leave home,” is used by older children. The teenager, with all his behavior, claims that "nobody needs me here, nobody understands me." And if the children realize that their threats are effective, then they will use them more and more often.
What to do?
Never say that for disobedience, give the baby to strangers or leave it on the street. A kid will ever turn your weapon against yourself. Think about why a child wants to achieve what he wants with just these words? Maybe he lacks warmth and attention? Show that you understand his feelings, but you can’t fulfill his demand, explaining the reason.
- “You are the best mom in the world!”
These are very nice words when they are, of course, spoken from the heart. However, little manipulators sometimes tell them to get the thing they need from you. How to distinguish truth from flattery? If after these words there is no continuation that the child needs a new toy or another gadget, then you are lucky with a loving son or daughter.
What to do?
Be sure to say that you also love your child, hugging and caressing him. But do not forget to explain: “I love you very much, but I can’t fulfill your desire right now. Please wait a couple of months. ”
- “I'll play a little more”
Usually this phrase is repeated several times during the evening, and then it turns out that it is time to have dinner and go to sleep. When is there to clean up or do homework? This is especially true for children who love to sit at the computer. Remember yourself: just go to the Internet, as it has been several hours.
What to do?
Follow your daily routine. If you have a hang up scheduled for nine in the evening, do not succumb to childish persuasion. Make the only relief - on Friday and Saturday you can stay a little longer in the game corner. Set an alarm or phone for a certain time and explain that the game or watching the cartoon is stopped by a signal.
- “But mom (grandmother, dad) allows me that!”
This tricky trick works very well with other loved ones or the nanny if mom or dad is the indisputable authority in the house. Also, a child uses a similar trick if the family does not have uniform requirements and rules of upbringing. For example, grandmother allows you to eat a chocolate bar instead of an afternoon snack.
What to do?
To agree on common rules at the family council, then the baby simply will not have the opportunity to declare that someone from the family allows what the mother forbade. Well and, of course, check whether the grandmother really allows something, or the child invented everything.
- “Everyone in my group (class) has ...”
Surely you heard a similar phrase: “Mishka again has a new phone (laptop) and Dima, too. I go alone with the old one ”or“ All my friends go to the resorts in the summer, and I go to the country again. ” Often after such words, parents think that their child is no worse than the others and he also needs to purchase a new phone, like Mishka’s.
What to do?
First, think about it, maybe, in fact, the child is missing the necessary things. Status items for teenagers are especially important. Secondly, if this is a usual whim, try to explain that you can not judge people by the number of phones, and instead of sitting at a laptop it is better to go camping with friends.
- “Come on, you will buy it for me, and in return ...”
I will never ask you to buy toys again, I will go to bed early, I will not fight in the kindergarten, I will finish the second quarter without triples, etc. For the sake of owning the thing I like, the child can promise to perform any feat in return. It will not be trifled.
What to do?
Do not be serious about children's promises.The child has not yet fully understood the time frame, so for him, “never” is until the next month, and “always” is about a week.
- “You are the worst mother in the world!”
Children tend to hurt with words in the hope that parents will regret the methods of upbringing or the next time they will fulfill all their desires. You probably also heard the not-so-pleasant phrase “I don't love you” during conflicts with a child.
What to do?
Remember that you need to teach children how to properly express anger and frustration. If you give in every time to avoid conflict, then you risk raising a real monster.
Manipulation abilities can occur in your child at any age. Having learned about the most common tricks of small manipulators, you can come up with the right actions and answers to similar phrases or actions in advance.
We advise you to read:
My son is 6 years old, from the first year of his life he always tried to manipulate us and I’m sure that this will continue further, only he will be more cunning to invent an excuse, most importantly, not to succumb to the same method of manipulation, if you succumb to even cry a couple of times then be prepared in the future, whenever a child cries, fulfill his whims. Under no circumstances should physical force be used! And then he will be afraid of you, not respect.
My granddaughter does not ask me for new dolls. He simply opens the store’s website where they are sold, enthusiastically considers, excitedly tells some episode from the cartoon with the participation of this heroine. Not always, but buy. Is this a manipulation? Or just for her, I am a new interlocutor, ready to once again listen to enthusiastic stories?