Even the most loving father, who spends a lot of time with his child, is inferior to his mother in matters of upbringing. To prepare food, bathe, change the baby, clean up after him - all these duties usually fall on the shoulders of a woman, and she successfully copes with them. Of course, to stay with the baby for a couple of hours, while the wife walks with friends or sits in a beauty salon, the strength of a caring husband and father. Another thing is if mom is taken to the hospital for a long time. The prospect of being alone with a defenseless baby can scare the unwavering head of the family. The advice of child psychologists will help dad quickly pull himself together and adapt to a new environment.
Rules of conduct with a child - reminder for dad
Babies often crybut they simply cannot tell adults in any other way about the pain, discomfort, desire to eat. Therefore, dad needs to understand that his task is to Do not fight with the whims of the baby, and look after him. If a man is hard without a wife and her help, then a baby without a mother is much worse. Stop the confrontation with your child and use the following recommendations:
- Do not be afraid baby. The baby, of course, is very small, but nothing bad will happen to him if you embarrassingly pick him up. An infant has needs that must be met continuously. However, there are not many of them. In fact, all newborn care comes down to three procedures: feed, change clothes and put to bed;
- Keep calm. Left alone with the child, dad will probably notice that his child has become more excitable. The increased anxiety of the baby is quite justified: he lost physical contact with his mother, although he really needs it. So don’t get annoyed at the baby. If you are patient and affectionate with him, it will be easier for both of you to experience separation;
- Become a “mom”. Imagine yourself more often in the place of your wife: ask yourself questions about what his wife would do in a certain situation, how she would try to calm the crumb when he cries. Of course, you are not able to breastfeed your baby, but you can easily hold it in your arms while it is eating from a bottle;
- Do not panic. The baby does not understand anything. But he feels everything - and discontent in your voice, and your anxiety, confusion, irritability. If you panic, the baby will also not be able to stay calm and sleep peacefully;
- "Sysyukayte." American psychologists coined the term baby-talk - a gentle conversation with a baby, which uses high-frequency intonations and repeating words. In everyday language, such communication with the baby is often called "lisp."Although on the part of baby-talk it seems frivolous, even stupid, in a baby it forms a feeling of security and emotional comfort.
We also read: What to do if dad is afraid to stay with a child - 7 simple tips
What should dad know about caring for a baby?
A lot of useless and even harmful information has been posted on the Internet, but there is one that saves people in a difficult situation every day. Dads, if desired, can find on the network and something useful for themselves. There are now a huge number of forums, communities in which parents share their experience in caring for a child, give each other advice. You can even find consultations of children's specialists who answer questions online.
Dad, who is temporarily raising a baby alone, the Internet will bring tremendous benefits. Do not be shy to communicate in the "female" communities. The mothers who gather there will not only accept you into their ranks, support, but also sincerely respect the man who is so kind to his child.
Here is a list of forums and communities on the Internet that Dad can use:
- Breastfeeding Consultants. Bottle feeding has its negative effects. In the future, infants begin to badly suckle their breasts, it is painful to grab it, to be capricious if there is no strong flow of milk. Specialists and experienced moms will help dad keep the baby's reflexes until his wife returns from the hospital. In this case, she can easily resume breastfeeding, without experiencing discomfort.
- Community slingam. Learning how to properly wrap a sling, you will become more mobile. It will be convenient for you to go somewhere with the baby. If such a need arises, you can put the baby in a kangaroo backpack, and then go on a short meeting at work.
- Online consultations of pediatricians and neurologists. These specialists are able to answer all the basic questions regarding the health and behavior of the newborn. The main thing is to carefully study the information about the doctors with whom you are going to consult. For security, it is better to select sites of large and reputable clinics.
- Lawyer consulting. Fathers who care for the child temporarily alone, along with their mothers, can count on help from the state, including additional leave and payments. Consult with a lawyer to find out how to get what you are legally entitled to.
Take into account the opinions of professionals and more experienced parents. However, always listen to your own intuition, be guided by your life experience. Stop worrying about the fact that your wife left you alone with the child, and you do not know what to do next not “my wife left me alone with the baby”, but “I was left alone with the baby”. You should take full responsibility for your child.
How to help a baby transfer separation from her mother?
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Baby care alone is not enough. He needs parental affection and care. While there is no mom, dad should try to make it easier for the child to endure parting with her. This helps:
- Smells. They are extremely important for the baby. Put your mother’s t-shirt at the head of the crib, which retains its smell, and put on her bathrobe while feeding. Feeling the native aroma, the baby will calm down and feel safe;
- Visual images. So that the baby does not forget how the mother looks, show him her photos, videos with her participation. The baby is not able to focus her eyes on one picture for a long time, but it’s not scary. Just show him mom every day. The baby’s memory is of an involuntary nature, so what regularly falls into his field of vision for at least a few seconds necessarily becomes part of his experience;
- Sounds. The phone, of course, slightly distorts the speaker’s voice, but the baby will still recognize familiar intonations.Therefore, call your wife, take your child in your arms and turn on the speakerphone so that your child can hear his mother;
- Tactile sensations. Women's touch is softer than men's, and the baby feels it. You can deceive his perception if you lubricate your hands with moisturizing cream or oil.
It is difficult even to mother to look after a baby alone, and at first it seems to the father an impossible task. He just needs to treat his wife’s temporary absence as a new life experience, and not as a test of strength. After spending some time alone with the baby, the man will be able to better feel the role of the pope and establish a strong connection with his child.
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While mom is not at home ... Dad and child are annealed ... 🙂
