Is it easy to be a father or dad can, dad can do anything

After the birth of a child, it is especially difficult for men to accept the fact of fatherhood, not to get confused and to cope with all the difficulties and problems of this period. But it is his actions and participation that will become fundamental in creating a harmonious family. The huge role of the pope in the life of the child is undeniable. But learning to be the best father in the world is not easy.

Almost all men are confident that it is easy for women to fulfill the role of mothers. They are simply programmed by nature. Men are another matter. Immediately after the birth of our first-born, my wife handed me a bundle with a hitherto unfamiliar child and said: “Love him!”. She had to repeat three times. I was imbued, but not right away.

Each time with the advent of the child, we men have to completely change their whole way of life, we listen to more and more new requirements, we become an object that must “meet”, while also constantly helping and understanding everyone and everything. But who will understand us and help in this difficult role of “being a father”?

It is no secret to anyone that parenthood is understood and accepted by men and women in completely different ways. But after all, each of us has his own role in the life of the baby. So what is the complexity of paternity, how to survive it, and what is needed so that when a child appears in a family, a man experiences joy, and in the future could be called “The best dad in the world”?

What will it be for me?

I very often met women who complained that they had given all their youth, life and career for the sake of raising children, and now grown up children do not appreciate this. But I have not met a single father with such complaints. Men in any situation remain true to themselves. Even after the appearance of a child in their house, they work, go to the gym, attend parties with friends and colleagues.

In fatherhood, there is usually no place for self-denial and sacrifice for the sake of children, which is so characteristic of motherhood. Dads do not want to immerse themselves in parenthood. They, as pragmatic people, want to receive some benefit, return for their spent mental and physical forces. They need to understand what they will get in return. The baby almost does not give any return, and time and attention require an incredible amount. It is because of this that the initial stage of parenthood is more difficult for men than women.

Representatives of the weaker sex from birth are crumbs ready to devote all themselves to their baby, but men - no, and will never be ready. That's where many fathers get the feeling that after the appearance of the child in the house, a stranglehold “drags on their neck”.

The result of all this is panic. It can be accompanied by a sharp deterioration in relations in a couple, men begin to linger more and more often at work, and spend days off outside the walls of the house.And the disintegration of the family becomes a very deplorable outcome of the situation, which is also possible (albeit rarely).

But (I appeal to men!) We do a lot of things in our life every day, not expecting quick results:

• we build a career, investing at first a lot of our work, and only after the passage of time we receive recognition;
• we open a business, and for this we go a long way with thinking out a business idea, registering an enterprise, spending our own money on launching and promoting a project - and only after all this, if everything is done correctly, our investments bring dividends (and each of us knows that most of the effort goes into the “newborn” business at the very beginning, when it still does not bring us anything in return).

Treat paternity as another long-term project. And then all your “investments” in the baby will certainly pay off. But it takes time.

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Father for his son is the main example of imitation. Not everyone is fully aware of the importance of the role of the father in raising a son. Any male infant is not born a man in the full sense of the word. The masculine character, as well as the actions worthy of a real man, can be brought up only by one's own positive example - read the full article

The most common myth of fatherhood is that all men dream of a son. Of course, everything boyish is obviously clear and close to dad, so it can be easier for a father in some matters with a boy. However, nothing beats being a girl’s dad. Daughters, by the way, male care and affection is simply necessary in order to grow up a real woman with the "right" female values. Of course, you need to raise a girl and a boy in different ways. And if everything is clear to sons and dads, then daughters need to “attach instructions”. Especially for dads who raise daughters, these 25 rules are written

Biological father or beloved dad

Many men can conceive a child, for this only health is needed. But to become a son or daughter a real dad, to go through the difficult path of parenthood and not give up - this is not easy. For this man will need: maturity, responsibility, commitment.

Good news: the fact of parenthood will help every man to acquire these qualities. It is natural and inherent in nature. No one can know if he is ready for fatherhood until his child appears. That's when the boundaries of our Universe begin to expand, real male maturity sets in, we become more responsible and more faithful. But we develop this parental instinct over time, as the play progresses.

The birth of a child and the beginning of fatherhood is a step into eternity, a truly masculine event: now you are not just a lonely lion, you have your own pride. Parenthood is also able to enrich the lives of dads. It is only necessary to relate to this correctly.

• If this is just a burden for you, you will have a very difficult time. Treating any event or phenomenon in your life as a burden can overshadow all the good and spoil even the most pleasant things;
• If for you this is a responsible mission, you yourself are ready to give joy and love, then your whole life will be felt differently, with a smile and warmth in your soul.

And you know what I have long been convinced of: the love and affection of a little crumb to parents is the purest and most uncomplicated feeling of love that you just need to experience on yourself once in your life. Believe me no one will ever (and never will) love you SO.

My life did not pass that period when work required frequent business trips. And each time I returned home, I saw the children giving me such looks, smiles and hugs that it seemed to me, not the most sentimental man, to ever need to leave like that again, just to return to experience all these children’s emotions.

It is very difficult to describe the emotions and feelings that your own child will give you. This is not just love. He will idolize you. For the child, the image of the pope is associated with omnipotence.He is the strongest, most courageous, most intelligent.

He is the one who knows and knows everything. Do you know anyone else in your life who could treat you like that ?!

Start with a couple

Sometimes, due to problems and worries about a new but tiny family member, we completely forget that we perform the function of not only the parent, but also the spouse. And there are things and responsibilities in relationships that have nothing to do with the child. In family life, every couple (and especially those who have recently become parents) has moments when everything seems terrible, everyday things bother and tire so much that anger appears in every trivial situation. This is characteristic of both men and women. I advise you not to wait for that hour until the atmosphere in the house reaches the boiling point and all the negativity spills out: on you, your spouse, the child, others. After all, prevention was always considered the best treatment.

If you suddenly at some stage begin to feel that your wife annoys (infuriates) you, try to recall your initial relationship. The birth of your child has greatly changed the life of both spouses, it has alienated you from the feeling of harmonious partnership. But the children will grow up and someday they will begin to build their life without parents, and you and your wife are a couple who must remain happy. Do not forget about how a loving couple behaves when she has not yet had her children. After all, in that life was romance, right?

• Listen to each other;
• Show your beloved woman signs, give flowers and gifts. She really needs it to continue to feel loved and desired by you. Especially in the first couple of years after birth, when your offspring is still small and very demanding;
• Treat your wife not only as the mother of your children, but also as a friend, lover, just a beautiful woman. How her children will treat her mother;
• Avoid situations that put a child between you. If you have a desire to “blame” the baby that your life has changed - think again. It is just ridiculous and gives away childishness. You are a man and a father;
• Understand that for your woman there is now no dearer than your child. In all your disputes and conflicts, he will always occupy the first place. This is nature, which is confirmed by statistics. Do not believe? Think of the number of divorces between men and women. Do you know a lot of “divorces” between mother and child ?! Are you upset? In vain. It's just wonderful that in this world there is someone who is trying in any situation like a formidable lioness to protect YOUR child. Say “thank you” for this fate! If mothers treated children differently, children simply would not survive.

Your child really needs you

Much has been said about the maternal instinct. He is embedded in a woman by nature and allows her to intuitively understand her son or daughter without words, to determine what he wants and what he really needs at one time or another.

Male instinct is different, and it manifests itself differently. Immediately after the birth of the baby, the desire to take care of the baby with the father is minimal. When a child was just born, a woman (in a cave) raises him, and a man goes on a hunt for prey (mammoth). But as the baby grows up, the role of the pope becomes more and more responsible and in demand: he must teach the child to hunt (if a son was born), or provide protection (if a daughter was born). The older your child becomes, the more he needs you as a father, the more dominant your role.

According to scientists, we also have a certain equivalent to the instinct of the mother - the father. When we become dads, the level of testosterone (male hormone, the hormone "macho") in our body decreases. Nature herself gave us the opportunity to be softer, did everything so that we can adequately take care of the child, communicate and play with him, understand and feel.

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The reaction of children to dads and moms is very different. Researchers at Harvard University conducted an entertaining experiment involving one and a half month old babies and their parents.When the mother approached the baby, he relaxed his shoulders and calmed down (his heart rate decreased). When dad came up to him, the baby's shoulders rose a little and he became excited (heart rate increased). With dad, the child wanted to spend time more actively, apparently getting ready to play.

Men have one common interesting quality: no matter how old we are, we always remain a little (and in some situations a lot) children. Only toys become more expensive and more difficult. And this is also good: because precisely because of this, it is easy for us to find a common language with children. Many women are at a loss as to why children, growing up, are so attached to their dads and are drawn to them. This is especially incomprehensible to them if the father spent little time with the child at an early age. Here is the answer, women, we are just children too (at heart).

Another fact of statistics is such data:

• boys who have grown up in a full-fledged family with mom and dad have 30% less problems with the law before the age of thirty than boys who were raised without dads;
• girls whose fathers took an active part in the life of the child have a 35% lower risk of teenage pregnancy compared to those babies who grew up without a father.

This proves the huge role of the pope in the life of every child and his influence at an early age on the ability of children to adapt successfully in life and be independent. It is with their dads that children learn to be stress-resistant, purposeful, to have willpower, character and flexibility of mind.

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Postpartum depression in mothers is a common and fairly studied phenomenon, but, it turns out, similar symptoms also appear in some men. And although depression is less common among young dads, a disregard for its manifestations can negatively affect all households and, above all, the child. How can postpartum depression in men be recognized? Its signs, causes, treatment will be discussed in the article..

Expecting a child, parents usually draw a beautiful picture for themselves. Here the baby sleeps, here the young mother feeds the baby, and dad plays with him. But in reality, everything turns out differently. When the child is brought into the house for the first time, one can still remain in a tender state. But, believe me, already at night, all your pink dreams and pictures will be scattered. Instead of a cute baby, a screaming child appears. This is where you need to connect not only to mom, but also to dad:5 Tips for a New Dad

About father's qualities: what to be?

1. Be authoritarian - your child will become a tyrant.
2. Be permissive - your child will not learn responsibility and will grow up as an “eternal child”.
3. You will be absent - and you will not have a child, except nominally.

Even the most severe man can become a papule 🙂

Be a dad in whom different qualities are balanced:

• literacy,
• the ability to set boundaries
• the ability to agree and refuse when necessary,
• ability to be interested in what is happening in a child’s life,
• the ability to give an son or daughter an emotional response.

Be a father who is always close (even if you work for many hours or often leave). After all, no one canceled phone calls and Skype conversations. Be the one who knows how to express his feelings and tell his child every day: “I love you!”. Be such a dad who is not afraid of any difficulties associated with his child. And even if something unbalanced you, get ready: your children really need you.

We also read:

• 25 simple tips for becoming a good father
• 7 types of non-ideal fathers