When the long-awaited first-born is born, life changes beyond recognition. During the first years of life, little spouses expect sleepless nights, the need to constantly look after and look after the baby. A woman has a maternal instinct, so she copes with the new conditions intuitively. For a man, the process of getting used to changes is more difficult. A strong and unwavering head of the family suddenly has many fears. We collected them in this article so that those who are just about to become parents can prepare for replenishment in the family.
Change in relationship with wife
Even if a man sincerely rejoices at the birth of the baby, on a subconscious level, he begins to worry that from now on, the wife will pay all attention to the child. Often this happens, but only because all the worries about the baby fall on the shoulders of the mother. It is very difficult to look after the child around the clock and at the same time clean up the house, cook, wash.
Living in such a rhythm, a woman is not up to her husband. She has only one desire left - to sleep and rest. If a man wants his wife to pay attention to him again, he should at least a little help her in child care and household chores (how to attract a husband to care for a child). Yes, he also does not sit idle and works. However, this does not stop him from going to the store on his way home, throwing out the trash, and hanging out with the baby on Sunday morning, so that his mother could sleep longer. A woman will certainly appreciate such care.
Inability to have fun as before
When there was no child yet, the man liked to go fishing, meet friends in a bar for a beer, play computer games for hours. Of course, after the birth of the baby, the entertainment will be much less. However, communication with the baby also brings joy and positive emotions. To do this, just hear the child laughing.
Money problems
When the wife goes on maternity leave, the husband remains the main and only breadwinner in the family. At the same time, family expenses increase sharply, because the child needs a bed, diapers, diapers, toys. It is not surprising that a man has concerns about the fact that he will not be able to provide his family with a decent standard of living.
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Such fear is justified only on the condition that earlier the wife’s salary was the main part of the family budget. However, even in this case, the situation does not become hopeless. You need to start saving, stop buying useless things, look for ways to earn more. Lack of money can be an incentive for a man to more actively develop his career and seek promotion.
Sleepless nights
Newborns do not distinguish between time of day. Therefore, it happens that the baby sleeps all day, and at night screams to be noticed.Sometimes a baby cannot fall asleep because his stomach hurts or something else bothers him. In this case, dad needs to sleep, because in the morning you have to go to work.
Alternatively, a man can go to sleep in another room. However, constantly throwing his wife alone with a crying child is also not worth it. Mom, after all, takes care of the baby 24 hours a day. She does not need to get to work in the morning, but she should someday sleep.
Stay alone with the baby
Most men categorically refuse to be left alone with their babies. Some are even afraid to take their child in their arms. If you stay to sit with the baby, he will also have to feed him, change his diapers. The man is also scared that he will not be able to understand why is the baby crying: Does he want to eat or is suffering from colic in his stomach.
Do not panic. Mom also gradually learned to care for the baby. Help your wife, watch her bathe, change clothes, soothe the baby. Performing hygiene procedures is clearly no more difficult than driving a car.
We also read: What to do if dad is afraid to stay with a child - 7 simple tips
Childhood diseases
Kids are constantly sick - they have a broken chair, then they arise stomach crampsthen snot appear. These symptoms are not terrible. You just need to fight them right. It is useful to consult a pediatrician or ask your mother, who knows well how to handle children.
The most important thing, dear dads, if you not only rejoice at the success of your baby with your wife, but also solve all problems together, as experience and skills for caring for the baby appear, a sense of fear will pass, and confidence and not clouded will take its place no phobias the deepest feeling of tenderness and love for your baby.
We also read: Mom in the hospital: how dad can cope with a baby
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For me, the worst thing is to be left alone with the child even now. For a long time I will not let my mother go anywhere, most likely this is due to the fact that there is a fear of doing something wrong. I’m also afraid of baby crying)
The first year after the appearance of the baby in our family was especially difficult for dad, as the baby was VERY restless. But now he and dad just do not spill water, it's so nice to admire them!
At first, I was also afraid to stay alone with my daughter for a shorter time. But then, when she was already about two months old, we and mom needed only to be.After work, we spent almost all the time together.
In fact, I am more than sure that most future and young fathers do not have the fears indicated above. Maybe it's because I and most of my friends became dads closer to 30 years.
Perhaps these fears are relevant for 20 year old fathers.
Maybe someone has experience, their own or familiar with fears?