Men are often afraid to even hold the baby in their arms. The very idea that they will have to stay alone with the child causes them real panic and protest. Therefore, when mom needs to leave, dad is ready to invent any excuse so that she stays home. What should a woman do in such a situation? Hope that dad suddenly magically learns how to deal with babies? Or wait until the child grows up, abandoning all things, hobbies and entertainment? The hardest thing is to persuade dad to stay with the baby if the baby is only a few weeks or months old, especially if he is breastfeeding. Nevertheless, experts believe that a dad’s stay with a child in private is very useful for both dad and baby. That is why establishing contact between the pope and the child should not be left to chance from the very first days of the baby's life. If dad is afraid to stay with the child, you need to help him a little.
I know firsthand how difficult it is to persuade dad to sit with a baby for at least half an hour. However, I managed to establish contact between the husband and the child, although this took time. Now I am ready to share my experience and give advice to new parents.
1. Get used to it gradually
Dad is really afraid to be left alone with the baby. Especially in the event that he first became a father and had never before babied with a newborn. Therefore, I advise you to act gradually so that the newly-made father gets used to the peanut.
Start leaving your child with dad without leaving home. Just leave your dad to look after the child, and do your own thing in another room or in the kitchen. Let the father first be alone with the baby for at least 10-15 minutes, then a little longer. When dad begins to cope with his son or daughter for an entire hour on his own, you can go about his business.
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2. No criticism
It is difficult, but try to avoid criticism of the pope. Yes, at first he will be inept at treating the baby, but you also did not immediately know how to swaddle, make a mixture, prepare a bath. Help the man learn these things too, encourage him for his efforts.
When the baby cries, first give dad a chance to reassure him. Perhaps he is already able to cope with this situation without your help.
3. Always in touch
When leaving home, assure your husband that he will be able to call you at any second and ask something about the baby. This will give him confidence that he will cope. If you are going to an important meeting or other event where you are too busy, leave your husband the phone number of your mom or girlfriend, who also has children and who can help.
4. A well-fed child - a happy child
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Before leaving, be sure to feed the baby and make sure that he is happy, feeling good. To begin with, it will be nice to guess so that your absence coincides with the time of the child’s sleep. Dad will get a positive experience with his child and become more confident in his abilities.Therefore, the next time he will be more willing to agree to sit with a peanut and, perhaps, even he will be able to feed and change it.
5. Organization of leisure
Think in advance about what dad and child will do while you are away. Prepare toys, place replacement clothing in a conspicuous place, express milk or make a mixture.
If dad is not the first time to stay with the baby, it's time to teach him how to cook the mixture on his own. After all, you can linger, and the child will need to feed something.
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6. Baby crying is normal
Explain to your dad once and for all that you should not be afraid of crying. This is just his way of communication, because the peanut does not know how to speak yet.
Each mother can determine if she wants to eat or asks for a diaper (according to the baby’s crying) (how to understand the reasons for crying a newborn baby) Dad can learn this too. More often, ask your husband to determine what the baby needs. Gradually, he will gain experience and begin to distinguish all the shades of baby crying no worse than you. The most advanced dads can distinguish by the sound of crying what exactly the baby needs at the moment, but this knowledge comes only with experience. Give your dad “workouts”
We also read: 13 tricks for crying a child
7. Calm, only calm
Of course, mother is always thrilled to leave her child, even for a short time. However, you should stop worrying, leaving the crumbs with dad. If you are calm and positive, your mood will be transferred to the husband with the child.
Upon returning home, do not forget to praise your spouse, even if the house is a mess, and the baby does not seem full enough to you. Feeling that he is doing fine, dad will stop evading the care of his child.
We also read: Mom in the hospital: how dad can cope with a baby
When mom is not at home. When the father is left alone with the child 🙂
And mine was afraid. Well, as I was afraid, I pretended to be afraid that I would always deal with the child. As soon as I found out the truth, I began to leave him alone with my son and everything was fine. Men often underestimate their capabilities in this regard.
I believe that it is necessary to leave a child with a dad at least sometimes, as this will have a beneficial effect on the very nature of the child in the future, otherwise he will simply be “mother's son”. The main thing is to let him know what is needed to make the child comfortable.
I have a generally funny situation, our daughter cries more when I stay with her, but when she stays with her husband, she rarely cries. A strange paradox, I do not know what it is connected with, but it is a fact.
She’s 4 months old and she’s already seen that she’s daddy’s dotsya! He plays with more fun and laughs, even falls asleep on his dad’s pen faster)