Even a desired pregnancy is always stress for spouses (albeit with a plus sign), because it leads to strong changes in family life. These changes begin with the woman, because from the first weeks of pregnancy she begins to feel herself in a new way. Innovations are manifested both on the physical and emotional levels: some feel sick during pregnancy, others constantly want to sleep, others note a strong appetite. Women become very impressionable, vulnerable, suspicious.
Men see only external changes: the body is rounded, the stomach appeared. What happens in the body and in the soul of the expectant mother - they can only guess. Sometimes husbands simply get lost and do not know how to find an approach to a pregnant spouse. So that in such an important period the relationship between husband and wife does not deteriorate, some tips on communicating with your wife will help men.
Try to understand and understand what is happening with your spouse
It is best to start with theory: read encyclopedias and pregnancy magazines with your wife to understand what processes are taking place in the spouse's body. Since a man cannot bear and give birth to a child, having experienced the whole gamut of sensations, it is important for him to be at least theoretically savvy in these matters. This will help to maintain conversations with the spouse (and they are almost all about one during pregnancy), to understand what she is talking about after the next appearance at the doctor. Such participation is very much appreciated by expectant mothers, and pregnancy becomes as if common.
Help your wife around the house
Pregnancy is a big burden on the body, however, the responsibilities of the expectant mother, neither at work nor at home, are becoming smaller. Even if the spouse does not complain about feeling ill, do not doubt that very often it will be more beneficial and more pleasant for her to lie down and relax than to wash the dishes or do the cleaning, especially at the end of the term, when it is simply physically difficult to do some household chores. Take some household chores on yourself, without waiting for a request or reproaches: you can go to the store for groceries, vacuum, take out the trash.
Be patient with your wife’s wishes and requests
The probability of a joke situation when a pregnant wife sent her husband on a winter night to pick strawberries is very low in real life. But other future moms have different requests and whims of varying degrees of absurdity. The whole blame for the changes in the hormonal background. Your wife may begin to feel sick from your perfume, which she herself gave once. Strange preferences may appear in food: from "classic" pickles to something exotic. At the level of physical sensations, there may also be changes: a woman may begin to irritate touching some parts of the body.Take this patiently and with understanding: take away what is not pleasant for the wife, and try to fulfill her requests.
By the way, requests may concern not only the elimination of annoying odors and the purchase of “sweets”. Pregnant women often require physical assistance: massage of the feet and lower back, help in shoes (after all, with a large belly it is very uncomfortable to bend down). Such help from a husband is very touching and important: when helping, you make it clear that you understand the position of your wife and accept all the changes that happen to her during this period.
Refrain from advice
In general, advice for a pregnant woman is just rock, haunting her all 9 months. Friends who gave birth, work colleagues, neighbors, relatives - all strive to give advice. No matter how you, as a man, delve into the wisdom of pregnancy, you will not become an expert in this matter (unless you are a female doctor, of course). But because you can advise your wife? What was read on the Internet or heard in your circle of friends? Believe me, spouse has already been provided with such advice. Instead of advising something, figure out what point of view the wife holds on this or that issue (how to get rid of edema, how to give birth, how to feed) and just support her in this opinion.
Protect your wife from negativity
Pregnant women are very sensitive, sentimental and suspicious. Any unpleasant word or even a hint of it can cause tears and strong feelings in the soul. The emotional state of the future mother is an important factor in the successful course of pregnancy, therefore it is better to protect the wife from any negative (programs or news, which feature cruelty, murder, etc.). It is especially important not to let your wife know about pregnancy and childbirth. It is important to find a balance between just background information about some problems and frank “horror stories”. Reference information can be obtained in the book or encyclopedia for pregnant women, but access to online forums where women in colors talk about an uncomplicated pregnancy or a difficult birth is better to block.
It is worth protecting from negativity in communication. Some people, even before pregnancy, were unpleasant to their spouse, and with some, relations deteriorated already in the process. The state of mind of a future mother is much more important than duty politeness, therefore it is better to avoid meetings with unpleasant persons, even if it is one of relatives. For them, you can always come up with a legend about the poor health of the spouse.
Do not let the marital love fade away
While waiting for the baby, the emphasis in family life is greatly shifted. Husband and wife are preparing to become parents, and their marital feelings often go by the wayside. This must be remembered by those who, by pregnancy and the birth of a child, seek to strengthen the family: the effect may be the opposite. So that conjugal love does not fade, you need to support it, and during pregnancy it is the husband’s task. The fact is that a pregnant wife starts a natural program and she thinks, first of all, about offspring. Do not forget to pay attention to your wife as a woman, and not just as the future mother of your child. Compliment, do not forget about romance with flowers and candles. This is a huge contribution to your relationship, because pregnancy is only the beginning of a new stage in family life, and without a deep sense of love for each other it is impossible to raise a child together.
Of course, serious changes in pregnancy are not familiar to every man. Some women and in the situation remain by themselves, without whims, new preferences and strong emotions. However, a reverent and caring attitude towards a wife on the part of the husband will certainly not hurt in any case. Well, and if you replaced your wife, these tips will help to correct the relationship and survive the pregnancy without quarrels and misunderstandings.
We also read: How to “survive” a wife’s pregnancy and remain a family
And finally, a bit of humor 🙂
The first-born in the family is the same shock for the wife as for the husband) Stock up with iron patience, surround your spouse with care, support her morally, show her that she is just as beautiful and everything will go well!
My husband was very caring, during my pregnancy, of course sometimes he did not understand me, there were minor quarrels, but as a result, everything was decided. But during pregnancy, not only a woman needs care, but a man, too, is hard for him, he is worried, but cannot express his feelings so openly.
My husband really wanted a child, he was already over 30, he had his first child, so this was a conscious desire. Steadfastly endured all my whims, scandals, tantrums, helped, attended childbirth, helped after childbirth. Because he had an incentive - he really wanted a child. It is very important that the child is desired, and the husband too.
I believe that the husband should support the pregnant wife in everything. Anything can annoy her. Therefore, we must agree with her in everything. Better not argue with her. Then the birth will be successful.