A child growing up in a normal family should know that he can approach his mother with absolutely any question, and she will answer clearly and kindly. But this rule, like all others, has exceptions.
When a child is still small, he absorbs all the information like a sponge. True, the psyche of the baby is still being formed, so it is important for adults to monitor what they say with him, so that he grows up with a positive attitude to life and is open to everything new. There are at least three topics that cannot be categorically discussed with young children.
1. Your intimate life
Yes, it’s right when it’s the mother who first tells her children, how they were born. After all, if you miss the moment, the children will learn everything about this sensitive topic in the yard from some boy who will make a lot of things. This is fraught with the fact that the child will have a perverted idea of one of the most important aspects of life, which can remain so forever.
What children should definitely not know is the number of sexual partners their mother had before meeting their dad. If you and your spouse after a parental meeting arranged a little adventure for yourself in the school toilet cubicle, the child should not be told about this either.
2. Financial problems
The child must understand that money is not taken out of nowhere at the click of a finger and does not come out from under the mattress, but, if it does, it is only if they were put there in advance. Be that as it may, it is important to convey to your child: first you need to earn money, and the process of making them is rarely simple and quick.
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Nevertheless, it is not necessary to overshadow the bright period of childhood with fears that the family may become a beggar or lose their roof over their heads due to the huge debts of their parents. After all, the kid will not be able to help adults fix their financial situation.
Only now the children sensitively listen to the words of their parents and take them to heart. Any joke or accidentally abandoned phrase that seems harmless and meaningless to adults can seriously agitate the child that his family, that is, his whole world, will face financial tragedy.
3. Errors of youth
It is very important that mom and dad become examples for children - at least while they are still small. Be sure to explain to the child how to learn from their own mistakes so as not to repeat them anymore. Only in childhood does each person need parents who are ideal and always fair in everything. Mom and dad should become moral standards for their kids, thanks to which they will understand how to behave in order to grow up as a worthy person.
A child does not need to know that in his youth his mother had bad habits, that she once got involved in bad company or betrayed someone. That's when the baby grows up, then you can tell him about all your sins in his youth during a heart-to-heart talk. And while the child is small, be perfect for him in every way.
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I completely agree with the author of the article. My parents did not discuss with me any forbidden topics except finance. And this left its mark on adulthood - I had to use my willpower to fight my “miserable thinking” and fears that money might end.
The topic of raising a child after the end of the infant phase worries me especially strongly, because The 5-year-old son is asking too much “why?”. And if I can answer the questions “why is it raining” or “why should I brush my teeth” without problems, then it is already more difficult to explain the material problems or the reasons for quarrels with his mother. So far I haven’t come up with anything better than saying that “everyone has it”.
Yes, one must still be able to answer wisely, without lying. I remember when my son asked me: “Where did I come from?” - I replied that your dad and I very, very much loved each other. And so you appeared in my tummy. Such an answer was satisfied by the son.