To baptize or not a child: family disagreement

Worse nowhere when there is a discord in the family. You need to understand that there are no identical people, a clash of views is inevitable. A common cause of quarrels is misunderstanding and rejection of the other person’s point of view.

When the father and mother are believers, the question of whether or not to baptize the child does not arise. Disagreements in the family arise if both parents or one of them do not agree to pay tribute to tradition.

When relatives press

Increasingly, young couples refuse to baptize infants. Not always the reason for this is "disbelief." Modern youth approaches this issue loyally. They are inclined to believe that the child himself must decide whether he should be baptized, and what faith to profess.

These views are opposed by grandmothers and aunts who grew up at a time when children had no choice. Religion was inherited, and the issue of faith was not discussed.

If the views of different generations clash in a large family, disputes arise, and sometimes conflict situations arise. In this case, there are two options for solving the problem: to reconcile and christen the child or stick to your own opinion.

1. Consent to please relatives. Whatever the baby’s parents, atheists or representatives of other faiths, Orthodoxy does not prohibit the baptism of their children. If for spouses this issue is not fundamental, we can agree to hold a ceremony to please relatives. The kid will not be worse from this. But the sore subject will close, young parents will be left alone, and disagreements in a large family will cease.

In this case, it is reasonable to invite restless relatives to take all the trouble in preparing for the ceremony for themselves. Since this is important for them, let them organize the church sacrament.

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2. Own opinion. If for parents of the baby this issue is fundamentally important, you need to adhere to your own point of view to the end. You never know what kind of relatives will climb into the head. Baptismal rite - not obligatory! The child has parents, and it is up to them to decide whether to baptize or not. Only now, as practice shows, attacks will have to endure for many years.

In this case, to argue and prove their point of view is useless. Do not talk about this topic. Warn relatives that the discussion of this issue is a family matter. If they press, go away from the conversation, or, as an option, out the door. Over time, they will get used to it. But watch out! They can baptize in secret.

Disagreement between parents

When it is impossible to agree in a good way, one of the spouses chooses the following:

• put an ultimatum,
• persuade to talk with the priest,
• baptize in secret
• to compromise.

Ultimatum. In other words, blackmail. One of the worst options. If you want to build relationships on mutual understanding and trust, it is better to refuse such a solution to the problem.

A person is placed in a tight framework, and there is no guarantee that he will make a choice in favor of the second parent. It comes to the fact that one of the spouses is blackmailing the other with a divorce. Where it leads? No church will approve when a family hearth and a church ceremony are put on the scales. For the child, peace and harmony in the family are much more important than his baptism.

Conversation with the priest. One option is to persuade the other half to speak with a church minister. Let him explain the meaning of the rite, and what benefit the baptism will bring to the baby. Sometimes the trip to the church itself makes you rethink the previously made decision.

Unfortunately, if the second half is an ardent atheist, it will be difficult to influence his opinion. All arguments and arguments in favor of the rite may be useless. Although it’s still worth a try.

Baptize in secret. In essence, this is a hoax. Think carefully before leaning towards this choice.

1. Firstly, all the secret sooner or later becomes apparent. Upon learning of vile deception, the second half will cease to trust. And it is difficult to regain trust back, sometimes even impossible. Should I take such a risk? There are cases when a family scandal, due to secret baptism, led to a divorce, which the church clearly does not approve of.
2. Secondly, a true believer should remember the 10 commandments of God: do not kill, do not steal, DO NOT LIE ... It turns out that God's law is violated for the baptism of a child. Not good!

Make a compromise. He grows up, he decides! In this case, it will be the right decision. Both parents are equally entitled to their point of view. Let the child judge them. Should he have his own opinion?

It is not necessary to baptize a child in infancy. The Orthodox Church has no age limit on the rite. This can be done at any age. Baptized, both children and adults.

5 reasons to compromise

In the family, it is important to be able to negotiate with each other. Understand and respect the views of the partner, even if you do not agree with them.

So, 5 reasons to compromise:

1. The family maintains peace and harmony.
2. Full trust between spouses.
3. God's commandments, church canons are not violated.
4. There is a chance that the second parent will change his mind
5. The opinion of the child is taken into account

5 misconceptions that make it difficult to compromise

We dispel doubts:

1. A guardian angel is given to a person from birth, not after baptism.
2. Praying for an unbaptized child by the church is not prohibited.
3. Faith in God is not transmitted with the sacrament. He can grow up an ardent atheist.
4. Church rites will not make a child happy.
5. This is not a protection against disease. Both baptized children and those who have not passed the rite are equally ill.

An unbaptized baby is not a sentence! Take it differently. Until the child reaches adulthood, there will be plenty of time to persuade the other half to change their mind.

We also read:

• What you need to know about baby baptism
• How to organize newborn shows, what to give the baby, some rules for guests and superstition

Baptism of a child: how to avoid conflicts in the family over religion

Rector of the Church of St. Ignatius of Mariupol Archpriest George Gulyaev

Why baptize children who still cannot consciously believe in Christ? The rector of the Church of St. Ignatius of Mariupol, Archpriest George Gulyaev, answers: