After the birth of a child, the life of a young mother is much more complicated, new responsibilities and concerns appear (mothers are at the same time cleaning ladies, cooks, animators, nurses - the list can be continued for a long time), but habits harmful to the still inexperienced parent arise. These bad habits can significantly complicate life, they take time, worsen mood and interfere with the upbringing of the child. Moms give all of themselves to the child and forget about themselves. These 13 things you need to stop doing if you become a mom.
1. Condemn Other Moms
It is important to stop trying to condemn supposedly “improper” parenting in other families. You should not give up even condemning views, letting the thought “I would have done wrong”, since each parent has the right to raise his child within the framework of his own views, without looking back at the opinions of others.
2. Compare and rate
Criticism of other families goes hand in hand with comparison. A huge flow of information on social networks about those mothers who manage to do business, play sports and take beautiful photos while doing a child at the same time make them suffer from envy. However, one should not be envious of such a way of life, since it is not known how many experiences are hidden behind a vivid photograph. It is important to enjoy your own life and every moment of it.
3. Do not take care of yourself and forget about it
Mom’s responsibilities do not put an end to appearance, the main thing is to prevent life, like a quagmire, from swallowing all the time. Hairstyle, manicure and banal relaxation, rest from everyday life, while the child stays with dad, is an ideal option to maintain a good mood of a young mother and her appearance.
We also read: “I am tired of being a mother”: 5 tips for building a life with a child after a year
4. Be ashamed
First of all, the question of shame in a young mother concerns the figure, those extra pounds that appear during pregnancy and remain after it. To get rid of them, you will need only a few exercises (rehabilitation exercises after childbirth - 14 simple exercises) and thoughtful healthy food - and there will be no reason for shame. In any case, the mere fact of parenthood substantially colors any woman.
5. All purchases are made only for children
Of course, children need all the most high-quality and beautiful, but if the purchase was planned for themselves, then you really need to buy something for yourself. Children will quickly grow out of the tenth pair of shoes, but a new dress in the wardrobe of a young mother will not be amiss.
6. Feel a lot of guilt
No minor mistakes in raising a child at all indicate an undeveloped maternal instinct or inability to raise children. No need to be ashamed of your own ignorance, it is important to learn from mistakes.
7. Worry about home mess
Each time, apologizing for a couple of toys scattered on the floor and unwashed dishes left in the sink after tomorrow or dinner is not worth it.Absolutely everyone understands that with a small child in the house it is not possible to keep up with absolutely everything, so you should not worry about such trifles.
We also read: how to cope with a child and household chores
8. Afraid of your desire for loneliness
From time to time leave the child with her husband, the nannygrandparents, older brothers and sisters - this is a good practice that allows a young mother or both parents to relax from daily routine duties, enjoy peace and relaxation, meet friends, visit a movie or theater. All these are absolutely normal desires, the main thing is to leave the baby only to those who have earned complete trust.
9. To worry about the fact that other mothers manage everything
One way to compare with your own life is to worry that others are doing better. But in reality, ideal parents do not exist, any children sometimes succumb to whims, quarrels happen in any houses. It is important to realize this and not try to strive for the unattainable ideal of a fairy tale life.
10. To postpone and delay the fulfillment of one's own desires
Yes, after giving birth, it’s quite difficult to devote time to fulfilling your own plans, but even in this case you don’t have to forget about desires and dreams. It is quite possible to combine your schedule in such a way as to achieve the desired goals and results not only in raising children, but also in other areas of life.
11. Criticize yourself
Yes, healthy self-esteem is an excellent character trait, but the excessive pickiness that young mothers usually distinguish will not help in any way to become better, they will only keep them in constant tension. Stop reproaching yourself for your appearance, for order in the house, for raising children. Enjoy every day of your life. Believe me, you do a lot better than you think. It is best to concentrate on positive thoughts and enjoy pleasant moments.
12. Take care of everything
Many mothers suffer, embarrassed to ask for help. But you are not a superhero, no matter how much you would like it. Ask people to hold the door or help with the stroller on the stairs; Ask your husband to take a walk with your child or prepare dinner while you are working with your baby. Nobody can do everything at once, and if you try to do it, you will very soon fall from fatigue.
13. To worry about the little things
It is unlikely that we will be able to recall the nonsense that made us worry a couple of weeks ago. This fact shows all the insignificance of daily minor problems, which sometimes you need to be able to close your eyes, performing planned tasks. We experience stress due to trifles, and this exacerbates the situation and harm our health. Try not to worry about the little things and enjoy life.
We also read:
Why are you tired? You're sitting at home! Or a memo to husbands who do not understand all the “charms” of maternity leave -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/eto-polezno-znat/otchego-tyi-ustala-tyi-zhe-doma-sidish.html
Want to become a super mom? 7 important skills will help you with this! -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/hotite-stat-super-mamoy-7-vazhnyih-umeniy-pomogut-vam-v-etom.html
12 things that every mom is ashamed of -https://kid.htgetrid.com/en/posle-rodov-dlya-mamyi/12-veshhey-v-zhizni-mamyi-kotoryih-ey-ne-stoit-styiditsya.html
Of course, right after the birth of the baby, I made all possible mistakes and completely “scored” myself. But gradually you begin to understand an amazing thing. When mother is good, then the child is well. How can a child develop normally when in front of him is a constantly tired mother who, moreover, has not painted for a long time or even washed herself. Since I realized this, I stopped worrying and began to devote time to myself. And immediately it became easier for me and the child began to develop more actively before his eyes.
I can’t get rid of more than half of my habits. In the first place is the feeling of guilt. Especially when the child falls ill, I begin self-flagellation. I constantly repeat to myself that I overlooked and missed it.