Our children are obedient and tidy only in conversations with friends and in the photo on social networks, where they carefully eat healthy food in a perfectly clean kitchen and smile at the painted mom. In reality, we do not always follow the rules of a good mother, which we will not tell anyone. There are several things that every mom should stop blaming herself.
- Not always neat clothes. A small hole in your pants, a pink jumpsuit on your boy’s, given by relatives from your daughter ... Everyone has “home” things that you will never see in photographs.
- A mess in the house. There are mothers who cannot sleep peacefully until they wash the floor. But believe me: if you don’t have the strength and time to clean every day, and the toys, which are just laid out in places, are again scattered throughout the apartment, - believe me, you are not alone.
- Not the most wholesome food. Broccoli puree, steam chicken or turkey cutlet are healthy, but the stubborn little pean refuses everything except pasta or sweet curds. There are times when only the cutlets of yesterday were left for lunch or you have to eat fast food on the way.
- Difficulty brushing children's teeth. According to the recommendations of the dentist, it should last at least 5 minutes. And where are the tips on how to deal with a 1.5-year-old baby who just wants to bite a finger? What should mom do: call for the help of the “child holder” and 5 minutes to brush his teeth to the wearying crumb in tears? Add a tantrum with tears here and think about whether the daily proper brushing of the teeth of the nerves of the child and yours is worth it. It’s easier to just brush one minute quickly, believing that “before people lived without it.”
- Missed walk. Migraine, lack of mood, complete blockage at work - how to highlight at least a couple of hours among all this to walk with the child. It can also be cold or hot outside. Not every mother walks with her child for 4 hours every day, so you can calm down.
- Bad words with a child. What will break out when at night you step on the small part of the constructor with all your might? It is unlikely to be: "Ah, how painful I am." It is very difficult to control your speech in such moments.
- The vagaries of the child. Agree, is it difficult for you to predict that the baby will arrange a tantrum at one time or another? Such moments are impossible to predict. What can we say about control and "proper education" during the vagaries. In such cases, there is only a desire to fall underground, to buy everything that the child asks, throw it on his shoulder and carry it as far away from people as possible to avoid squinting eyes.
- Without makeup and sweatpants. Sneakers with jeans or sweatshirts, a quick bun on the head - each mother will confirm that this is the best “uniform”, especially with a restless baby. Older kids also do not leave much time, so the usual 10-minute shower for mom becomes a feat.
- Cartoons. The recipe is simple: turn on cartoons for 30 minutes to relax or calmly cook the soup.This is true, but you still feel terribly ashamed of it.
- Invalid mode. Traveling, celebration, arrival of guests or just going to the store - all this deprives the child of daytime sleep. And in the evening he lies closer to midnight. From older relatives you get disapproval: “It’s 10 o’clock at night, and the child is not in bed. But in fact, the regime will quickly recover without serious consequences.
- Social network. You could prepare a healthy cottage cheese casserole for breakfast and decorate it with fruit animals. Read to the child, sculpt or draw with him. Crochet, learn foreign languages or learn computer programs. But instead, they chose to look through the Facebook, Instagram or VK feed. And who is not doing this today?
- Violence in education. If you are very tired, can you scream or slap a child? Proponents of attachment theory are convinced that even the kindest, most conscious and patient mother can do this. This is not a way of education, but the minute weakness of the parent. Just apologize to the child and say goodbye to guilt.
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Am I a bad mother? or maternal behavior rating scale
We are all human beings and we are not perfect, especially with young children. And it’s wrong to reproach yourself for every little thing done “not according to the rules”. You need to live here and now, in a good mood and in harmony with yourself and with your child. And you watch cartoons, flipping social media feeds or simply stretched out on the couch in training and without makeup, but only for joy) The main thing is that our kids should be happy and healthy. This is the only and unapplied rule!
The only thing I was ashamed of in front of my daughter was that she had already woken up and was demanding my attention, but I still couldn’t tear my head off the pillow :) and everything else was the everyday little things in life.
Most of the problems described in the article come from the parents' inability to organize and general and domestic licentiousness. A child who does not know the taste of fast food, sweets and pasta is happy to eat freshly prepared steamed vegetables, meatballs or fish. You can always prepare and freeze home-cooked foods. Then he threw it into a double boiler, turned on the timer and go about your business. With modern toothbrushes and pastes, there is no problem with brushing your teeth. Especially if you accustom a child to this after the appearance of the first tooth. The child perceives it as a game and brushes his teeth with a beautiful brush and delicious paste with pleasure. The decree is difficult, but this is no reason to walk in a dirty, wrinkled and torn with an unkempt head. And then yell at the child in whom is he a pig.And walking with a child is not difficult and useful, especially on maternity leave. What else to do? Chat with friends, burn calories, strengthen immunity and the child will splash out energy. It’s hard to teach an adult child to the right habits, because the child learns from his parents. And as they say, people need to be educated while lying across the bench.
Believe me, such careless parents, as in the article, never reproach themselves for anything. 😉
I can’t imagine a normal mother swearing if she hit or stepped on a cube.