10 ways to get rid of the complex “I am a bad mom”

Even the most caring and skillful mother may one day sadly say: “I have a feeling that I am a bad mother.” Often such thoughts arise in women with the so-called “excellent student syndrome”, when the slightest mistake or failure in any area of ​​life becomes a personal reproach. In fact, if you are able to analyze your actions, worry about the results, see your own shortcomings, this means that you are a wonderful mother who strives to make her child happy.

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But if thoughts of your own imperfection have already settled in your head, you should get rid of them as soon as possible, because an oppressed state can lead to depression and really affect the life of your entire family.

How to get rid of the complex “I am a bad mom”?

  1. Understand that there is no ideal. No one is born with the perfect ability to change diapers and guess the baby’s diseases on the first sneeze. Your life consists not only of the interests of the baby. Good relations in the family, attractiveness and mood of the mother are important for the child. And if something doesn’t work out for you, you can entrust it to professionals. For example, to lead a child to developmental classes, or to attend the necessary courses herself.
  2. Believe that your child is unique. You should not study pediatrics sites at night and compare your child’s skills with those that are supposedly necessary at a particular age. Your baby will sit down, goes, speaks and takes hundreds more steps of his development when he is ready for it. You can safely help him with this.
  3. Try to minimize communication with people who endlessly blame you for the wrong approach to education. This is especially the case with the older generation and other newly minted mothers. Grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts can talk for a long time about the dangers of diapers, mixtures and modern development techniques. And on the playground you can hear phrases like: “How can you let the baby sleep with parents?”, “How can I carry the baby in a sling?”, “But mine already holds a spoon” and so on. Protect yourself from such comments, or try to ignore them, because only you are responsible for your child and can make decisions regarding him.
  4. Make a list of cases that, in your opinion, should get rid of the “bad mother” complex. If you think that supermodel sculpts crafts, builds houses of sand, tirelessly reads fairy tales, etc., do this periodically to increase self-esteem.
  5. Feel free to ask for help and do not refuse it. You do not leave your child to the mercy of fate if you send him to stay with his grandmother for a little while. On the contrary, a change of scenery is necessary not only for you, but also for the child.With pleasure, accept help in business, unloading yourself, because your life now consists in many respects of trifles.
  6. Relax and take time for yourself. The monotony and monotony of everyday affairs every day can lead to a depressed state. Therefore, take care of yourself, what you love. Learn languages, read, play sports, learn to do something completely new, discover yourself in the most unexpected areas. Meanwhile, let dad will take care of the child, grandmother or other loved ones.
  7. Do not be afraid to take a sedative. Do not consider yourself insane, just consult a doctor about sedatives, if necessary.
  8. Do not blame others. This will help to treat yourself less critical.
  9. Organize your schedule. As soon as you get rid of the thought that you cannot do anything, you will calm down inwardly. Make a distinction between really important matters and secondary ones, think over a weekly menu and shopping lists in advance. This will free not only time, but also the head from disturbing thoughts (6 tips for mothers who do not have enough time).
  10. Be more positive. Laugh at the failures, smile at the problems, and they may cease to be so.

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You will definitely come to a high point. And if today you miss the pyramid, or are looking forward to when the baby finally speaks, then soon you can become your child’s best friend and colleague, inspiring your inner strength and determination. Everything has its time, the main thing is to believe in yourself and your strength.

We also read:

Video consultation: 7 fears of parents that you should forget about. How to stop being afraid that you are a bad mother?

Am I a bad mother? or maternal behavior rating scale

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